Potatoes are not only the most versatile vegetable in the world, but they also make sweet jokes too! Starch right here if you’re looking for potato jokes, puns and gags that will have your friends peeling with laughter.
Chip Gags
What do you call a judgemental chip? A shallow fry
Did you hear about the spud that started practising Buddhism? He became a chip-monk
My spud of a boyfriend has recently graduated from his furniture-maker course. He was inspired by Thomas Chip-pendale
Potato Puns
What did the angry potato say during an argument? You better be careful or I’ll mash you!
How do you know if a potato has no money? He won’t chip in for dinner
Before the potato became slim and slender, where could you find her? On the couch
How do you know if a potato loves hot showers? He’ll be soft inside
Did you hear about the potato who was eager to learn about his ancestors? He wanted to get in touch with his roots
Why are hot potatoes so easy to bribe? Because they love to be buttered up!
Why was the potato salad so embarrassed at dinner time? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What did the police potato say to his partner during a stake-out? “Keep your eyes peeled or we might miss something!”
How do you know if a potato has been through a lot? He’ll probably have a chip on his shoulder
Why do potatoes like going on dates during the oven? Because it always gets a bit hot and steamy!
What do potatoes do during marriage counselling? They hash it out.
Why do potatoes often miss work deadlines? They don’t deal well when it’s close to crunch time
What is a potatoes favourite romantic comedy? Spuddenly 30
What philosophy do most potatoes follow? I think, therefore I yam.
What is a potato’s favourite game? A sack race!
How do you know if a potato has good manners? They’ll peel-lity open the door for you!
What do you call a potato from Mexico? Chipotle!
What did the potato say to his friend? Nothing. Potatoes can’t talk.
What do you call a potato who loves sky diving? Air-fried
What is a potatoes favourite childhood book? Green eggs and yam!
Who is a potatoes favourite movie star? Channing Po-tatum
Why are potatoes so flirtatious? Because they’re garden hose.
What did the potato say during his wedding speech? My love for you sprouts every day!
How do you insult a potato? Tell them to get forked.
Why was the potato so stressed out? Because he knew he was in hot water!
How do potatoes kiss? They mash each other!
The potato living next door is obsessed with becoming a successful entrepreneur. He is got at least five different starch-up businesses already!
What did the potato say when he was sentenced to jail? “I want to a-peel!”
Where do potatoes go when they pass away? Into the grave-y
When the police officer saw the yam peeling out on the parking lot, he pulled it over.
Why do potatoes make such great salesmen for Soda Streams? Because they love carb-onated water!
I’ve been learning a lot about potatoes and their zodiacs lately. They’re really into starch-signs
I watched the news about the stoned potato who crashed his car. He was completely baked.
If you had to take a potato out on a coffee date where would you take them? I’d recommend visiting Starch-bucks
Why are potatoes so good at shooting firearms? They know how to handle their carb-ines
Did you hear about what the potato said to her boyfriend after their big argument? “We can’t keep hashing over the same topic. I think I am losing my peelings for you.”
How do you know if a potato has eaten something bad? They will have smelly carb-on dioxide
What is the best pasta to offer a potato? Carb-onara!
Why do potatoes make such bad gardeners? Because they have Red Thumbs, not Green Thumbs!
How did the potato propose to his girlfriend? He put a ring on her Fingerling!
Why do potatoes always get bullied? Because they’re so easy to roast
How were spuds punished in the Medieval days? They were decap-potatoed.
What do you get if you cross a country singer with a potato? Johnny Mash!
What do Indonesian potatoes each for dinner? Mashi Goreng
Did you hear about the potato who was obsessed with Twitter? He loved using hashtags!
Lily is a freelance writer and media relations consultant from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not writing lifestyle, fintech, or beauty stories and media collateral, you can find her hanging out at her local restaurant or tending to her ever-growing plant collection.
Lily is a freelance writer and media relations consultant from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not writing lifestyle, fintech, or beauty stories and media collateral, you can find her hanging out at her local restaurant or tending to her ever-growing plant collection.