Potatoes are not only the most versatile vegetable in the world, but they also make sweet jokes too! Starch right here if you’re looking for potato jokes, puns and gags that will have your friends peeling with laughter.
- What do you call a judgemental chip? A shallow fry
- Did you hear about the spud that started practising Buddhism? He became a chip-monk
- My spud of a boyfriend has recently graduated from his furniture-maker course. He was inspired by Thomas Chip-pendale
- What did the angry potato say during an argument? You better be careful or I’ll mash you!
- How do you know if a potato has no money? He won’t chip in for dinner
- Before the potato became slim and slender, where could you find her? On the couch
- How do you know if a potato loves hot showers? He’ll be soft inside
- Did you hear about the potato who was eager to learn about his ancestors? He wanted to get in touch with his roots
- Why are hot potatoes so easy to bribe? Because they love to be buttered up!
- Why was the potato salad so embarrassed at dinner time? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What did the police potato say to his partner during a stake-out? “Keep your eyes peeled or we might miss something!”
- How do you know if a potato has been through a lot? He’ll probably have a chip on his shoulder
- Why do potatoes like going on dates during the oven? Because it always gets a bit hot and steamy!
- What do potatoes do during marriage counselling? They hash it out.
- Why do potatoes often miss work deadlines? They don’t deal well when it’s close to crunch time
- What is a potatoes favourite romantic comedy? Spuddenly 30
- What philosophy do most potatoes follow? I think, therefore I yam.
- What is a potato’s favourite game? A sack race!
- How do you know if a potato has good manners? They’ll peel-lity open the door for you!
- What do you call a potato from Mexico? Chipotle!
- What did the potato say to his friend? Nothing. Potatoes can’t talk.
- What do you call a potato who loves sky diving? Air-fried
- What is a potatoes favourite childhood book? Green eggs and yam!
- Who is a potatoes favourite movie star? Channing Po-tatum
- Why are potatoes so flirtatious? Because they’re garden hose.
- What did the potato say during his wedding speech? My love for you sprouts every day!
- How do you insult a potato? Tell them to get forked.
- Why was the potato so stressed out? Because he knew he was in hot water!
- How do potatoes kiss? They mash each other!
- The potato living next door is obsessed with becoming a successful entrepreneur. He is got at least five different starch-up businesses already!
- What did the potato say when he was sentenced to jail? “I want to a-peel!”
- Where do potatoes go when they pass away? Into the grave-y
- When the police officer saw the yam peeling out on the parking lot, he pulled it over.
- Why do potatoes make such great salesmen for Soda Streams? Because they love carb-onated water!
- I’ve been learning a lot about potatoes and their zodiacs lately. They’re really into starch-signs
- I watched the news about the stoned potato who crashed his car. He was completely baked.
- If you had to take a potato out on a coffee date where would you take them? I’d recommend visiting Starch-bucks
- Why are potatoes so good at shooting firearms? They know how to handle their carb-ines
- Did you hear about what the potato said to her boyfriend after their big argument? “We can’t keep hashing over the same topic. I think I am losing my peelings for you.”
- How do you know if a potato has eaten something bad? They will have smelly carb-on dioxide
- What is the best pasta to offer a potato? Carb-onara!
- Why do potatoes make such bad gardeners? Because they have Red Thumbs, not Green Thumbs!
- How did the potato propose to his girlfriend? He put a ring on her Fingerling!
- Why do potatoes always get bullied? Because they’re so easy to roast
- How were spuds punished in the Medieval days? They were decap-potatoed.
- What do you get if you cross a country singer with a potato? Johnny Mash!
- What do Indonesian potatoes each for dinner? Mashi Goreng
- Did you hear about the potato who was obsessed with Twitter? He loved using hashtags!
Next: 60 Egg Jokes & Puns
- What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a potato? A rap-tater
- What do you call baby potatoes? Tater tots
- Did you hear about the spud who was always relaxed and zen? She is a medi-tater
- What do you call a potato in costume? An imi-tater
- What do you call an angry potato? Agi-tate-d
- Why do potatoes make such good comedians? Because they are tater-ly hilarious!
- Did you hear about the group of bossy spuds? They were such dic-taters
- What do you call a potato who likes to chat about sports all day long? A commen-tator
- The young potato down the street was recently charged with excessive lying in court. He was always such a potat-tle tale at school!
- Why do spuds make good keyboard warriors? Because potaters gon’ tate
- What do soccer players call their potato cheer squad? Spec-tators
- What do you call a potato on a Ferris wheel? A Rotate-o
- What did the French Fry say during the date? “I think you’re a really sweet potato”
- What did the fashion stylist say to the French Fry? “May I suggest you try our latest jacket-potato with that outfit?”
- Which day of the week do potatoes hate? Fry-day
- Why are French Fries so difficult to get along with? Because they’re often salty
- How do you know if a French fry is flexible? They will be able to touch their pota-toes
- The two French fries had a baby who was slightly overcooked, do you know what they called him? Chris-p
Next: 80+ Food Puns
- Why are spuds so self-conscious? Because they are full of carbs.
- Did you hear about the potatoes who had been friends forever? They’re still the best of spuds!
- How do you know if a spud is part of a gang? He will be covered in po-tat-toos
- “Did you see on the news that there was a potato roaming the streets shooting at fellow citizens? He was using a spud gun!”
- Did you see the attractive potato featuring in the latest blockbuster movie? He is such a hot spud!
- Did you see what happened to the potatoes who got stuck out in the rainstorm? They were splashing in all the spuddles!
- “I was watching the British wrestling on television last night, the fork gave the potato an absolute spud-bashing!”
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