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Let’s Get Bright: The 10 Best White Mascara
Nothing holds a candle to these birthday puns.
People love to celebrate, and what better reason to find the fun side of life than that special day that marks another 365 days spent being yourself on this crazy planet we call earth.
No celebration is complete without the most important part of any birthday. No, I’m not talking about gifts, I’m talking about laughter, and the best part is it’s free.
If you know someone who loves puny jokes and witty wordplay, send this to them on their birthday.
Or, if it’s your birthday, stop working right now and indulge in a list of birthday puns that takes the cake. Use these birthday puns to write in a card, or maybe use these birthday puns for instagram as captions.
It’s your special day, and you deserve to spend it laughing.
110 Funny Birthday Puns For Him and For Her
Happy birthday, you take the cake.
People who make bad jokes on your birthday should be pun-ished.
Have an egg-cellent birthday.
Another birthday has crepe’d up on you.
Have a toad-ally awesome birthday.
I know you don’t drink, so have a tea-riffic birthday.
It’s hard to make a good birthday joke for a chemist. All the good ones Argon.
What did the aggressive birthday cake say?
Do you want a piece of me?
What did the French loaf say to her boyfriend?
Never baguette my birthday.
How do you wish a vegetable happy birthday?
Lettuce celebrate!
How do you wish a rabbit a happy birthday?
Hoppy birthday.
How do you wish cheese happy birthday?
Have a gouda day!
How do you wish a cow a happy birthday?
I hope your birthday is legend-dairy.
How do you wish another cow a happy birthday?
I herd it’s your birthday.
How do you wish a mushroom a happy birthday?
Happy birthday to a real fungi!
How do you wish a cat happy birthday?
I hope your birthday is purrrfect.
How do you wish a snail a happy birthday?
Let’s shell-ebrate.
Why didn’t the psychologist celebrate his birthday?
He thought birthdays are a Freud.
Why didn’t the psychologist enjoy his birthday?
He wasn’t Yung anymore.
What did the grape say to his dad on his birthday?
Thanks for doing a great job raisin me.
What do cavemen do on their birthday?
Go clubbing.
What do snakes do on their birthday?
Get legless.
Do pickles enjoy their birthday?
Yes, they relish every moment.
Pickles consider their birthday a big dill.
What card should you never give a football player for his birthday?
A red card.
How does Neil Young feel on his birthday?
Neil Old.
How did Gary the Oscar-winning actor feel on his birthday?
Like an Oldman.
What do you say to hippies on their birthday?
Hippy birthday.
When is the best time to buy a birthday gift?
The present.
What do you send Kim Kardashian for her birthday?
A Cardashian.
Who puts the candles on Kim Kardashian’ birthday cake?
Candle Jenner.
What do you get Nena for her birthday?
99 Red Balloons.
I’m gluten intolerant. Please, don’t toast me on by birthday.
What did Wreck-It Ralph have on his birthday?
A bash.
I get so emotional on my birthday. Even my cake is in tiers.
How do birthday cakes feel before they’re eaten?
Crumby.
What does every happy birthday end with?
A ‘y’.
Gamers don’t have birthdays. They level up.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey.
Why doesn’t Daenerys Targaryen enjoy her birthday?
It tends to dragon.
What four letter word do old people do in bed on their birthday?
Read.
Did you hear about the birthday candle sale?
It was a big blowout!
What do you say to the president on his birthday?
You rule!
I got you a jersey for your birthday. It’s better than a card-again.
Having ice cream on your birthday is gelato fun.
I got my dad a beer for his birthday, because he’s older bud wiser.
I got you furniture for your birthday, because I chair-ish your friendship.
I know this sounds corny, but I hope you have an a-maize-ing birthday.
Why do pachyderms always remember your birthday?
Because an elephant never forgets.
Why don’t pachyderms celebrate their birthday?
Because age is irellephant.
Birthdays are great in moderation, but too many of them can kill you.
Why don’t Egyptians celebrate their birthdays?
They’re in de Nile about how old they are.
What do you get an elf on his birthday?
Shortcake.
What do you say to an elf on his birthday?
Hey shorty, it’s your birthday.
I hired a clown for your birthday but he can’t juggle. He doesn’t have the balls.
Why do family members always wish you a happy birthday?
Because age is relative.
What do you say to a Swedish person on his birthday?
I’m happy you were Björn.
What do you say to a Mexican person on his birthday?
You’re Juan in a million.
What do you say to an Australian on his birthday?
Happy Perth-day.
What do you say to the world on its birthday?
Happy Earth-day.
What do you say to comedians on their birthday?
Happy mirth-day.
What do you say to surfers on their birthday?
Happy surf-day.
What’s the most common stress people feel on their birthday?
Cheer pressure.
You can’t drink a whole bottle of tequila on your birthday, but you can give it a shot.
If you drink too much tequila, your birthday becomes your barf-day.
What did the alcoholic get for his birthday?
Drunk.
What did Snoop Dogg get for his birthday?
High.
What did the cake get for her birthday?
Baked.
What do you call someone who turns 13 during the pandemic?
A quaran-teen.
What did the chef say on his birthday?
It’s my party and I’ll fry if I want to.
What does a farmer do to their cow on their birthday?
Milk it.
Happy birthday, teddy bear, would you like some more cake?
No thanks, I’m stuffed.
It’s Peter Pan’s birthday. I’m making him a pan-cake.
I’m throwing my dog a birthday party. I Shih Tzu not.
What do you give 50 cent for his birthday?
Two quarters.
How does Ellen DeGeneres celebrate her birthday?
She eats out.
What does Lady Gaga sing on her birthday?
Born This Day.
What do you call it when you eat too much on your birthday?
Your girth-day.
What’s the best kind of clothing to buy a lawyer for their birthday?
A lawsuit.
What do mathematicians prefer to birthday cake?
Birthday pi.
What does a Frenchman say if you ask if he wants a gaming console for his birthday?
Wii.
Why can’t eBay light your birthday candles?
No matches found.
Why do candles never make it through a birthday?
They meet their match.
What does Stevie Wonder say to people on their birthday?
I know I won’t see you, but happy birthday.
What kind of music do birthday balloons hate?
Pop music.
Why did the birthday balloon go to a doctor?
He thought it would helium.
Don’t worry if no-one comes to your birthday party. You can have your cake and eat it too.
My wife loves being clean. So for her birthday, I threw her a soap-prize party.
Bought my friend a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
Why didn’t the astronaut get invited to the birthday party?
There wasn’t enough space.
What do you get every birthday?
Older.
As a Pinata, I don’t like birthday parties. They really take it out of me.
When I gave my dad his 50th birthday card, he said: “One would have been enough”.
My wife left me after she asked for an iPhone for her birthday, and I bought her an iRon.
What year is your birthday?
Every year.
What do the Bee Gees wish for on their birthday?
Stayin’ Alive.
What did Harry Potter become on his 13th birthday?
Hairy Potter.
What do you get for a former Spice Girl on her birthday?
Old Spice
What do candles like to do on birthdays?
Get lit.
Sorry if this is cheesy but I hope you have a grate birthday.
What do vegetarians get on their birthday?
A lentil older and a lentil wiser.
How did Yoda know what Luke Skywalker got for his birthday?
He felt his presents.
Some wise birthday advice: Forget about your past, you can’t change it. Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one.
When I have a birthday, I take a day off. When my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
What did Donald Trump say when they told him how old he was turning?
I demand a recount!
I’m not 50, I’m $49.95 plus shipping and handling.
Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
What do you get every birthday?
Older.
Where do you find the best birthday present for a cat?
In a catalogue.
What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
Hey, buster.
Daniel Friedman is a journalist, columnist, and blogger based in South Africa. For over ten years, he was best known as award-winning musical comedian Deep Fried Man.
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