- HUMOR
The 82 Very Best Christmas Jokes
This boiling hot collection of jokes will leave you laughing out loud for oolong time.
There are times when it seems like absolutely nothing can solve your problems but a nice, warm cup of tea.
Whether you need a strong cup of Green Tea or Ceylon to wake you up, or some Chamomile tea to put you to sleep, there is a type of tea for absolutely any situation.
In Douglas Adams’ hilarious series of books Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, main character Arthur Dent, an earthling who has ended up on an involuntary adventure through the galaxy, spend the entire time looking for a decent cup of tea. “A proper cup of tea would restore my normality,” he says, and this is exactly what tea represents for so many people – sanity, stability, normality, and comfort.
Tea can also represent hilari-tea. In this article, we have gone to great lengths to find the funny side of the most widely consumed drink in the world, and the results are here for you to enjoy.
We will start off with 35 freshly-brewed tea puns, before moving on to two punny lists of movies and songs for tea-lovers. Finally, we will throw in ten scalding hot jokes about tea as a special bonus.
I will leave you with the exact same words I would say to you if I’d just handed you a nice cup of tea.
Enjoy!
35 Tea Puns Guaranteed to Provide Hilari-tea
- If you don’t like coffee, why not chai tea!
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. A cup of tea begins with a single steep.
- There’s nothing more brewtiful than a nice cup of tea.
- I know I’ve had this tea before. It’s giving me Deja Brew
- “Brew or brew not. There is no chai” – Yoda
- “Just brew it” – Nike
- Never grow too attached to your tea. Tea leaves.
- There’s no ‘I’ in team, but you can’t have a team without ‘tea’.
- Cups of tea get their hair done at the Ceylon.
- If you see someone with a cup of tea in front of them and they’re not drinking it, it’s probably just not their cup of tea.
- It’s oolong way to China.
- I stopped making tea the old-fashioned way because I was taking strain.
- Whoever makes the tea must take responsibili-tea for it.
- Making tea for others is a great opportuni-tea.
- It’s hard to choose the best kind of tea when there are so many possibili-teas.
- Some puns about tea are lukewarm.
- I love to par-tea.
- Cowboys who love tea go on a kettle drive.
- When it comes to tea puns you have to milk them for all they’re worth.
- You’re such a teas!
- When you’re old enough to drink tea you become a teanager.
- If at first you don’t succeed in making tea, chai, chai again.
- When you spill tea on your shirt it’s a calami-tea.
- Your beverage will be launching into space at tea minus four minutes and twenty seconds.
- When you don’t know what type of tea is about to be poured you have to take pot luck.
- When I hear a tea pun I give a polite “tea-hee”.
- Never drink from someone else’s cup, that’s dishonest-tea.
- In the US, the biggest tea drinkers are from Missis-sippi.
- Never let someone with a temper make you tea, they’ll go stir-crazy.
- Only one member of the A-Team provided refreshments: Mr. Tea.
- That drink was tea-licious.
- Discussing tea can get heated.
- I wouldn’t stop making these puns for all the tea in China.
- I’ll just have one tea-ny tiny cup.
- Why do you have brown stains all over your top? It’s a tea-shirt
Next: 83 Brewtiful Coffee Puns & Jokes
Ten Tea Films for your Brewing Pleasure
- Stir Wars
- Steeping beauty
- 50 Shades of Earl Grey
- Teatanic
- Despicable Tea
- Brew the Right Thing
- The Darjeeling Limited
- Tea-nage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- The Breakfast Tea Club
- 24 Hour Par-tea People
Top Ten Tea Tunes
- Chai a little tenderness – O-teas Redding
- Smells like tea spirit – Tirvana
- Bohemian Rhapso-tea – Freddie Mercu-tea
- Papa’s Got a Brand New Teabag – James Brown Tea
- Teas in heaven – Eric ‘Slowbrewed’ Clapton
- Sweet Chai O’Mine – Guns ‘N Five Roses
- Hey Brewed – The Teatles
- No Woman No Chai – Bob Martea and the Wailers
- Stand By Tea – Ben T King
- Never Gonna Give You Cup – Rick Ast-tea
Next: 80+ Food Puns
Bonus! Ten Hot Tea Jokes
What do you get if you throw your cup of tea across the room?
A flying saucer
Why did Karl Marx prefer to drink coffee?
Because all proper tea is theft
Why do hipsters only drink iced tea?
Because water was ice before it was cool
What do rebellious tea bags listen to?
Heavy Kettle
“Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.”
“Try taking the spoon out”.
Why does Britain love tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
What’s the hardest kind of tea to swallow?
Reality
Man: “But officer, all I’ve had to drink is tea”.
Officer: “What kind of tea?”
Man: “Long Island Iced Tea”
A man walks into the nearest coffee shop and asks the waitress: “How much is it for a cup of tea?”
“Four dollars,” the waitress says
“How much is a refill?” the man asks.
“Free,” says the waitress.
“Then I’ll take a refill!” the man responds.
How to Drink Hot Tea
Step one: Make a cup of tea
Step two: Sip the tea
Step three: Stop sipping because the tea is too hot.
Step four: Leave tea to cool.
Step five: Forget you ever had a cup of tea.
Daniel Friedman is a journalist, columnist, and blogger based in South Africa. For over ten years, he was best known as award-winning musical comedian Deep Fried Man.
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