80 Paw-Some Dog Puns

We all know that dogs are the best pets. But what make the best jokes? Dog puns, of course! Whether you want to memorize a bunch of funny one-liners, or plan a stand-up joke routine, dog puns will have everyone howling.

Dog puns are the perfect way to put a smile on anyone’s face. Check out our list of adorable and hilarious dog puns and choose your favorites!

 

Funny Puns!

You are paws-itively amazing!

Luke, I am your paw-ther!

Do you want to play Ulti-mutt Frisbee?

Oh, fur-get it!

Happy howl-idays, ya filthy animal!

Help! We need a pug-boat to tow us to shore!

I’m waiting for the results of my lab report.

Today has been a bit ruff!

I’m not fat, I’m just a little husky!

Don’t stop retrievin’!

You better obey, or we’ll have to call the police paw-trol!

When she lost her bone, the retriever was barking mad!

You are paws-itively adorable!

I spend all of my free time Labradoodling.

Thank your lucky paws!

Stand up for yourself! Don’t just roll over!

I don’t want to be late to the paw-ty!

My terrier’s favorite game is ulti-mutt Frisbee.

That’s one sick puppy!

Don’t worry, I fur-give you.

Has your dog paid his annual fleas?

Let’s give everyone a big round of ap-paws!

This is my fur-st marathon!

I am on the Puggle-bus today!

You’re looking quite fetching today!

The Labrador took paws-ession of the soccer ball.

I like big mutts and I cannot lie!

I always make time to paw-nder the meaning of life.

My dog’s favorite story is about Noah’s Bark!

We had to ask the Bark Ranger for directions.

In this race, the Weiner takes it all!

Paw-don me, I didn’t mean to inter-ruff you!

That outfit is fur-bulous!

Tonight we’re going to watch The God-paw-ther.

My other car is a Furr-ari!

Yesterday was just paw-ful!

After it rained, all the poodle-bugs came out!

Quit making me the mutt of the joke!

A dog is a woman’s best fur-riend.

Happy Paw-ther’s Day!

My dog asked for a corner paw-fice.

I called the dog-tor and the dog-tor said, “No more corgis jumping on the bed!”

That dog concert was paw-some!

I always take the path of leashed resistance.

That dog has potential. He’s a diamond in the ruff.

That was a mastiff waste of time!

This too can be yours, for a small monthly Dalmatian!

Don’t worry, we can pooch up your cut in no time!

That is mind-beagle-ing!

The evil queen has ended her reign of terrier!

Howl we ever make it on time?

Try to maintain some dog-nity!

That offense is un-fur-giveable!

I’ve got an of-fur you can’t refuse!

Don’t forget to put the car in bark!

Next: 50 Purr-fect Cat Puns to share with your fur-iends

 

Dog Stand-Up Jokes!

What card do you have? The two of barks!

What did the Jedi name his dog? Jabba the Mutt!

Why did the Boston terrier had to sit in the shade? Because she was a hot dog!

Where did the Dachshund park his car? In the barking lot!

What did the dog say to the dentist? “Dog-tor, I think my canines are loose!”

What did the Corgi say to his Valentine? “I’m mutts about you!”

What did Darth Vader say to the pug? “Come to the bark side.”

We had to check into a different hotel. It was overrun with bed-pugs!

What story did the puppy ask for at bedtime? A fairy tail!

How do dogs pick teammates? They chews each other!

Have you seen the latest dog movie? It’s called Raiders of the Lost Bark.

Who is the best dog detective? Sherlock Bones!

What do dogs say at a wedding? “I take your hound in marriage.”

What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? “That hits the spots!”

Next: 50 Beary Funny Bear Puns to Break the Ice

 

Dog Food Jokes!

This taco has a real bite!

An apple a day keeps the dog-tor away!

What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping? Pupperoni!

What is a dog’s favorite movie snack? Pupcorn!

What does a dog like to eat for breakfast? Ruffy Charms!

My favorite vegetable is collie-flour!

The Labrador asked for a pug-kin pie for Thanksgiving.

The dog asked for pup-cakes for his birthday!

The puppy’s favorite snack was apple-paws!

Pawsta is my favorite com-fur-t food.

What does a dog say before eating? Bone appetite!