95 Skeleton and Bone Puns and Jokes

From the funny bone to the humerus, the adult human body is made up of over 206 different bones. Babies have 300 bones! What?

They come in all shapes and sizes! Big, small, thick and thin! They help us do everything from walking and talking to bending and stretching. To running and jumping, the list is endless, bones are awesome!

So let’s sit down and put our feet up (26 bones in a foot) and have a look at the funnier side, of our bones and skeletons

 

Bone Puns and Jokes that are bone licking good.

1- What kind of steak do they serve at a golf course? A tee bone.

2- Playing football over the weekend I fractured the bone in my upper arm, I didn’t find that to humerus.

3- The doctor told his patient he would need to have his arm in a sling for two weeks, the patient did not find this humerus.

4- After the fight both boxers had numb skulls.

5- How do you hurt a sofa? Kick it in the cus-Shin.

6- How did the two wrist bones get to work? They carpal-ed.

7- Where does a neck go to complain? The cervical center.

8- What did the smallest bone in the body say? Don’t stapes on me!

9- What bone is the sassiest? The Cheek Bone.

10- Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist? It was too-th late.

11- What do you call the last skeleton on earth? The end-o skeleton.

12- What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton? A musculoskeleton.

Next: 65+ Pirate Jokes That’ll Have You Hooked! 

 

Rib tickling Skeleton Puns and Jokes

13- What is a Vietnamese skeleton’s favorite food? Bone-mi.

14- What skeleton was the first emperor of France? Napoleon Bone-aparte.

15- How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real? They were bone-afide.

16- What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show? Bone-anza!

17- What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy? Bone-bone.

18- What TV show do skeletons love? Bones.

19- What do skeletons say before a big meal? Bone-Appetite.

20- Who is the biggest skeleton rock star to come out of New Jersey? Bone-Jovi.

21- How does a skeleton cut up his steak dinner? With a boning knife.

22- Why did the skeleton have a broken heart? His Boney lay over the ocean.

23- Why did the young skeleton get in trouble at school? He told a fib-ula.

24- What indie rock band do teenage skeletons love the most? Bone Iver.

25- The skeleton had no choice but to plead guilty, the police had found the skeletons in his closet.

26- How does the skeleton secret agent like his martini? Bone dry.

27- What did the skeleton say as he saw his beloved off at the airport? Bone voyage.

28- What did the two skeletons get up to behind closed doors? Bone-dage.

29- How did the skeleton get into his house? He used a skeleton key.

30- Who did the hotel hire to work over Halloween? A skeleton crew.

31- Did you hear about the two skeletons who got lost in the desert? They were dry as a bone.

32- What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi? Bone-ito flakes.

33- The skeleton was excited about the concert that weekend, he was seeing Spinal Tap.

34- After going camping and being caught in the rain the skeleton had a high temperature and was worried he caught a femur.

35- Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.

Next: 69 Space Puns

36- After buying a Harley Davidson for his fortieth birthday the Skeleton was hoping he was finally “Bone” to be wild.

37- Sometimes to feel tall the Skeleton would walk around his garden full of Bone-si trees.

38- Not surprisingly when the Skeleton was born, the doctor told his mother that he was bad to the bone.

39- What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear? Skullcaps.

40- What do skeletons eat at the airport? Cinna-bones.

41- How do you keep food warm at a skeleton buffet? Put it in the Bone-marie.

42- Where does a Portuguese skeleton live? Lis-bone.

43- What weapon does an American Indian Skelton take to war? Bones and arrows.

44- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-Bone.

45- Where does a skeletons’ pet dog live? In the Boneyard.

46- How do skeletons communicate with each other? By using a Tele-bone.

47- What kind of grass grows on a skeletons lawn? Spine-ifex.

48- Why did the skeleton’s car not work? It was bone idle.

49- Why was the skeleton a success at work? He had a head for business.

50- What language do skeletons speak? Boney language.

50- Why did Dr Frankenstein employ the skeleton? The skeleton was a body snatcher.

52- Why did the skeleton start the fight? He had a bone to pick.

53- Why did the skeleton fail his test? He was a bone head.

54- Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat? He was chillled to the bone

55- Why did the skeletons go to the grocery store? Prices were cut to the bone.

56- Why was the skeleton not upset that his wife had an affair? He didn’t have a jealous bone in his body.

57- How did the skeleton know a storm was coming? He felt it in his bones.

58- Why did one Skeleton ask the other skeleton on a date? He wanted to jump her bones.

59- Why was the skeleton overweight? He was a Lazy bones.

60- Why did the skeleton avoid the argument with his boss? He didn’t want to make any bones about it.

61- Why did the skeleton go to the butcher? He was hoping to put some flesh on his bones.

62- Why did the skeletons form a rock band? They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!

63- Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest? Because sticks and stones will break them bones.

64- Why did the skeleton have to testify in court? Because he was a body of evidence.

65- Why were the skeletons’ fingers missing? Because he had worked them to the bone.

Next: 55+ Dinosaur Jokes, Puns & Riddles

66- Why did the skeletons go to the nudist beach? It was the best place for them to be bare bones.

67- Why was the skeleton scared of the baby? Because he was an ankle biter.

68- Why didn’t the skeleton wear a bikini? Because she was big boned.

69- What do you call a heavy skeleton? A skeletonne.

70- Where do Scottish skeletons long to be? The Boney Boney banks of Loch Lomond.

71- How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market? He used his Cart-ilage.

72- How did the skeleton get his cattle to the slaughter house? He drove them in his CAR-cass.

73- What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have? A bonefish.

74- What kind of skeletons live in Brooklyn? Hip-boners.

75- How did the skeleton baker make bread? He Knee-d it.

76- Where do skeletons buy wood from? The Lumbar yard.

77- Where do naughty skeletons buy concert tickets from? They buy them from a ticket scapula.

78- What did the broken hearted skeleton say? After all to-marrow is another day.

79- How did the skeleton learn the rumor about his friend? He heard it from the Skull-ttlebutt.

80- “What’s wrong?” asked the skeleton, “Do you have a headache?” “Noggin’s wrong”, was the reply.

81- “Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton. “It’s spine“ replied the driver.

82- Two skeletons are talking in a bar. “Are you going to the funeral tomorrow “ “Of corpse I am”

83- What does a skeleton use to flip pancakes? A Scap-ula.

84- How does a French skeleton say good night? Bone-soir.

85- How does a French Skelton say hello ? Bone-jour.

86- What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter ? A Bone-et.

87- What’s the name of the large skeleton rock concert? Bone-arro.

88- What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free! Pro Bone-O.

89- Who are the two most famous skeleton bank robbers? Boney and Clavicle.

90- How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping? They made them on the bone-fire.

91- What happened to the skeleton who spent too long in the ocean? He got Bone-acles.

92- Why didn’t the skeleton give his co-workers a ride? He was scared of Carpal Tunnel.

93- Although highly qualified. The skeleton could not get a permanent job, the only one he could get was temporal.

94- The skeleton loved maths. The only thing he disliked was dealing with fracture-ions.

95 – The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.

 

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Nicholas Thomas
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