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There’s nothing like the taste of freshly baked bread. But if you’re looking for a way to laugh some calories away rather than pack them on, these half-baked bread puns may be just what you knead.
If you’re looking for gluten-enriched humor, this collection of jokes should at yeast raise a smile. Think of them as bread for the head – enjoyable but only recommended in moderation.
Those with a rye sense of humor should read on. These carb-heavy puns won’t get stale, so let’s raise a toast to bread-based comedy and share these jokes with a baker’s dozen of your friends and family. Even if they’re on the keto diet. If they don’t laugh along with you, you’ll probably at least get a rise out of them.
Your daily bread puns
What did the public say when they invented the toaster? That’s the best thing since sliced bread
What did the piece of toast say when he discovered his fate? You butter be kidding me
What’s the only bin you’d throw something delicious into? A bread bin
Why didn’t the person on a gluten-free diet stay at the B&B? It was a bread and breakfast
Which loaf do you call when you need a super-hero? Wonder Bread
The United Nations of Crumby Jokes
Why have Spanish people been baking lots of bread? Because of the pan-demic
Who is the most powerful baker in Russia? Vladimir Gluten
What are the chances of finding a loaf of bread in India? Naan existent
How much do you get paid for bread puns in the US? A pun-per-nickel
What do you say when an Italian guy leaves without his bread loaf? Hey! You focaccia bread
What is France’s favorite dance hit? Baguette Lucky by Daft Pain-k
What is France’s favorite rock song? Crepe by Radiobread
What is France’s favorite reggae song? Baguette Up, Stand Up by Bob Barley
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A Baker’s Dozen of Bakery Jokes
Why did the baker put 1000 loaves in the oven? He was trying to bake a record
What happened after the baker set a new record for baking the most loaves? He became the breadwinner
Why did the baker take on a second job? He kneaded dough
Why did the baker quit his job? He didn’t get a raise
Who is the meanest cowboy in the bakery? Clint Yeastwood
How did the detective find the bad bun in the bakery? He left no scone unturned
What did the bakers do when their bakery was under attack? They came out buns glazing
What’s a baker’s favorite martial art? Tae Kwon Dough
Have you heard the one about the kleptomaniac baker? It really takes the cake
What advice did Jesus give the bakers? Let he who is without sin cast the first scone
How do they say hello at a German bakery? Gluten tach
I asked the baker if it’s hard cutting a cake into equal slices. “No”, he said. “It’s a piece of cake”
If the B in Cardi B stood for Baker, what WAP would you want to taste? Her Wonderfully Appetizing Pastry
Romantic Bread Puns
When two bread loaves like each other, what do they do? Go on a carbo-hi-date
What did the hamburger bun get the hot dog roll on a carbo-hi-date? A bunch of flour
Why did the hamburger roll refuse to go on a carbo-hi-date with Mr. Sourdough? She loaved him
Why did Mr. Sourdough ask for another date after the hamburger roll refused him? He was a gluten for punishment
Why did Mr. Sourdough stop asking the hamburger roll for dates? He didn’t feel kneaded any more
Why wouldn’t the muffin go on a carbo-hi-date with the gingerbread man? She didn’t like bread-heads
Why did the hamburger bun and the hotdog roll break up? There wasn’t enough crust in their relationship
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Steamy Bread Puns
What do bakers read for excitement? 50 Shades of Grain
What exciting news did the baker tell her husband? She had a bun in the oven
What did the hamburger bun say to the hot dog roll? Don’t get fresh with me
Why did the roll like to be in control? She wasn’t a sub
Bread Puns About Bread Puns
Why doesn’t everyone like puns about hero sandwiches? They are sub-par
What does making too many bread puns lead to? Self-loaving
Just Loafing Around
Why did the rolls hang out on a street corner? They were just loafing around
Why don’t the upper crust loaf around? They are well bread
What did mother loaf tell her son when he went out to a nightclub? Ciabatta be back by midnight
Why didn’t the mother loaf want her son going to the nightclub? It was too seedy
Woke Jokes – The Bread Edition
What did the radical roll tell her fellow rolls to do? To rise up against the pastry-archy
What do people who play a roll in the civil rights movement do? Fight for equality between white, brown and wholewheat
Next: The Ultimate Disney Quiz – For the Perfect Family Night In
Rising Music
What is a baker’s favorite style of music? Rock n roll
What is a baker’s favorite rock n roll song? Bake, rattle and roll
These Bread Jokes Are Sick
Why did the raisin get sick all the time? He was in-bread
Why did the bread loaf end up in hospital? She had a yeast infection
What is the cure for a yeast infection? Grain surgery
Daniel Friedman is a journalist, columnist, and blogger based in South Africa. For over ten years, he was best known as award-winning musical comedian Deep Fried Man.
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