60 Water Puns and Jokes

Water is all around us, covering about two-thirds of the Earth’s surface, yet besides all the oceans, seas, lakes, rivers, icebergs and whatnot, water is inside us as well. We carry water inside ourselves, not just inside our bellies but also inside our organs and skin, even our bones carry water!

Water was always a great source of inspiration throughout history, a lot of great novels have been written when the author was at sea, staring out into the stretched out, blue horizon. While that sight might sound calming to you, water can be very dangerous, as any sailor who’s gone through a storm can tell you, but you’ve already seen Titanic.

To keep a jolly spirit and a good attitude towards the waters of the world, people have come up with sea shanties, deep-sea diving equipment, and most importantly, jokes! We have a list of water puns that will leave a smile on your face as wide as the Amazon!

  1. Why do fishermen make good movie directors? Because they have experience with reeling.
  2. The snapper wasn’t too keen on coming with me, but I got him hooked.
  3. Why does the ocean hate the seaside? It’s too shallow.
  4. I gave some money to a sailor to help tide him over.
  5. I never believed water could freeze, but now icy.
  6. An employee is needed on isle one.
  7. I read a magazine near the pool once,  it had no depth.
  8. My room by the ocean is very tide-y.
  9. The ocean feels very watered-down lately.
  10. A ship rated C is still seaworth.
  11. We need to throw a party to get the sailors unbored.
  12. This is a joke about a submarine, let that sink in.
  13. I’ll swim for about ten minutes, no sweat.
  14. I’m trying to clean my brewery but still waters run deep.
  15. Why are fish so smart? They spend most of their time in a school.
  16. My brother is getting married to this woman named Maddy. He’s going to Maddy the waters.
  17. Did you know? The Romans would often re-enact naval battles in the Colosseum after flooding it with water? Talk about a slippery slope!
  18. My friend just got a golden tooth so she’s keeping her head above the water.
  19. My friend wanted to cook something but I poured cold water on it.
  20. What do you call a grumpy fish? A sigh-ren.
  21. What do you call an egoistic crab? Shellfish.
  22. What do you call a spy left to drown? Pond. James Pond.
  23. Why did the cup’s argument fail? Because it doesn’t hold water.
  24. Jake forgave me for not catching him when he fell, he says it’s water under the bridge.
  25. Carl took a swim in your pool, they’re no longer un-carl-ted waters.
  26. If you’re not sure about baptizing your enemy just dip your foe in the water.
  27. I got my friend something to eat while he was practicing with his band, but he only likes bass.
  28. I like to eat sea-red fish.
  29. My boss doesn’t like my boat and he’s going to dock my bay.
  30. Be sure to tuna in for the next episode!
  31. You know why I love it so much? Because it’s a doll, Finn.
  32. That dish was truly ex-squid-site!
  33. What do fish do at the cinema? They get sea-ted.
  34. Why did the dolphin stop swimming? He passed the fin-ish line.
  35. My neighbours opened up a seafood restaurant, they’re making a kril-ing! 
  36. You were going on vacation first but I beach you to it.
  37. 35) Why are pirates so happy? The seas the day!
  38. These jokes will get people sea-sick with laughter!
  39. I think the homework assignment is quite shrimp-le
  40. I believe I was very s-pacific.
  41. Please let minnow if you want something else.
  42. What do you call trained animals? Navy seals.
  43. What did Captain Ahab say after failing to catch Moby Dick? Oh whale.
  44. What do call a group of singing whales? An orca-stra
  45. Where do you take a sick boat? To the dock.
  46. I hope shell come around.
  47. He wanted to come to your birthday but he got tide-down.
  48. I’m renovating that apartment torrent it eventually.
  49. Make sure you remember these for when you’re going out to the beach this summer!
  50. Her dad is definitely salmon important.
  51. What did the magician say to the audience? Pick a cod, any cod!
  52. Why did the shrimp cross the road? To get to the other tide.
  53. After getting electrocuted I’m not f-eel-ing too good.
  54. Who’s the most popular fish? The starfish!
  55. What’s the worst kind of shark? The loan shark!
  56. Do you really think I called you fat? Oh, whale.
  57. It will be a b-reef interview.
  58. He said he was Russian but I didn’t imagine he’d be so Volga-r
  59. What did the shark say after eating the ship? I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.

Next: Anti-jokes: Because We All Need a Laugh Right Now

 

Don’t worry, we’ll keep them coming. Knock-knock jokes are especially fun with the kids, and if you don’t have any don’t worry, they’ll make the kid inside you smile!

1) Knock knock

Who’s there?

Tide

Tide who?

Tidy your room!

 

2) Knock knock

Who’s there?

Cry me

Cry me who?

Crimea river.

 

3) Knock Knock?

Who’s there?

Sea

Sea who?

Sea you around!

 

4) Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Reef

Reef who?

Reef-ill my cup!

 

5) Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Cod

Cod who?

Cod, bless you all!

 

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