61 Rock Puns That Are Stone Cold Hilarious

These plutonic puns will rock your world. 

Whether you’re a geologist or just a rock fan, you are probably here to see the funny side of stones, boulders, pebbles, gems – anything and everything rock-related.   

We’re happy to say we came up with some absolutely clastic jokes. 

We mined every area of our imaginations and dug deep to cobble together 61 of the best puns about rocks. Eventually the ideas began to crystalize and believe us when we say, it was hard. 

The result? A collection of petrified puns that will rock your world. 

So read on, while a few of these may be hit ore miss, this is a list of rock puns and jokes that rocks. 

We’re sure you’ll find a few gems…

 

Ten Jokes That Will Rock Your World 

Why did the rock shower every morning?

He wanted to start with a clean slate 

 

How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae? 

He was lichen it

 

What happened when the rock got addicted to crack?

He hit rock bottom

 

Why did the rock go to rehab?

To get stone cold sober

 

What should you do when you hear a joke about rocks?

Take it with a grain of basalt

 

Why did the rock sleep all day?

He was a bedrock

 

What did the stone say when he ended up at the bottom of the hill?

That’s how I roll

 

Why is it hard to be a diamond?

Too much pressure

 

Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing?

Mount Rushmore

 

Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper?

Because paper beats rock 

Next: 55+ Dinosaur Jokes, Puns & Riddles 

 

Jokes For Geologists

Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian?

Chris Rock

 

Who is a geologist’s favorite actor?

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

 

What is a geologist’s favorite type of music?

Hard rock

 

What is a geologist’s favorite treat?

Rock candy

 

What did the vampire say to the geologist?

Albite

 

What do geologists do when they find an empty cup?

Phyllite

 

What does the water in a geologist’s cup do?

Evaporite

 

How far do geologists travel?

A mylonite

 

Where do geologists study?

At sedimentary school

 

Why don’t geologists argue?

They’re too pelite

 

Why is this my last geologist joke?

Because you get the schist

 

Indie Rock Jokes 

Why do hipsters like rocks?

They’re underground

 

What do hipsters think of carbon?

They liked it before it was coal

 

Why did the hipster like the rock?

It was magma before it was cool

 

Stoner Jokes That Rock 

What do lazy rocks do?

Sit around all day getting stoned

 

How do rocks get stoned?

Joints

Next: 55 Owl Puns and Jokes

 

Rock Puns So Bad They Should Be A Crime 

Why did the rock go to jail?

The quartz found him guilty

 

Why did the quartz find the rock guilty?

They had concrete evidence

 

How did the rock feel about going to jail?

He was petrified

 

Jokes That Will Make You Erupt With Laughter 

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?

Hey, do you want to be my lava?

 

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?

Nice ash!

 

Why did the volcano sit around all day instead of getting a job?

He was an inactive volcano

Next: 83 Bird Puns 

 

A Rocky Relationship 

Did you hear about the rock dating the stone?

It was not just a plutonic relationship

 

What did the rock ask the stone?

Are you cummingtonite?

 

Why did the stone prefer the rock to all the others?

He was boulder

 

How was the rock and the stone’s relationship at first?

Solid

 

When they started dating, what did the rock say to the stone?

We’re going rock steady

 

Why did the rock and the stone break up?

The trust in their relationship eroded

 

Why couldn’t the rock and stone keep dating without trust?

It was the bedrock of their relationship

 

Why didn’t the stone get back together with the rock?

He had too many faults

 

What did the stone think of the rock?

That he wasn’t gneiss

 

Top Ten Rock Songs

Solid as a Rock – Ashlar and Simpson

Over my Boulder – Mike and the Rockanics 

I Love Rock ‘n Coal – Stone Jett 

It’s a Hard Rock Life – Jay Z(inc)

Don’t Quarry Be Happy – Rocky McFerrin 

Lust for Lime – Igneous Pop 

Heart of Stone – Chert 

He is Heavy, He’s my Boulder – The Quarries 

We will Rock You – Heavy Mercury 

Rocks Off – Rolling Stones

 

Top Ten Films That Rock 

Pyrites of the Caribbean 

The Rocky Horror Picture Stone

The Pebble Wears Prada 

Meet the Rockers 

Home A-Stone 

Journey to the Centre of the Earth 

School of Rocks 

Rock Star Wars 

A Rockwork Orange 

Rock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 

 

More Puns You’ll Love:

80 Dog Puns50 Cat Puns
80 Fish Puns80 Food Puns
83 Coffee Puns | 85 Halloween Puns
60 Wine Puns100 Plant Puns

 

Daniel Friedman
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