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These plutonic puns will rock your world.
Whether you’re a geologist or just a rock fan, you are probably here to see the funny side of stones, boulders, pebbles, gems – anything and everything rock-related.
We’re happy to say we came up with some absolutely clastic rock jokes.
We mined every area of our imaginations and dug deep to cobble together 61 of the best puns about rocks. Eventually the ideas began to crystalize and believe us when we say, it was hard.
The result? A collection of petrified stone puns that will rock your world.
So read on, while a few of these may be hit ore miss, this is a list of rock puns and jokes that rocks.
We’re sure you’ll find a few gems…
Ten Jokes That Will Rock Your World
Why did the rock shower every morning?
He wanted to start with a clean slate
How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae?
He was lichen it
What happened when the rock got addicted to crack?
He hit rock bottom
Why did the rock go to rehab?
To get stone cold sober
What should you do when you hear a joke about rocks?
Take it with a grain of basalt
Why did the rock sleep all day?
He was a bedrock
What did the stone say when he ended up at the bottom of the hill?
That’s how I roll
Why is it hard to be a diamond?
Too much pressure
Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing?
Mount Rushmore
Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper?
Because paper beats rock
Next: 55+ Dinosaur Jokes, Puns & Riddles
Jokes For Geologists
Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian?
Chris Rock
Who is a geologist’s favorite actor?
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson
What is a geologist’s favorite type of music?
Hard rock
What is a geologist’s favorite treat?
Rock candy
What did the vampire say to the geologist?
Albite
What do geologists do when they find an empty cup?
Phyllite
What does the water in a geologist’s cup do?
Evaporite
How far do geologists travel?
A mylonite
Where do geologists study?
At sedimentary school
Why don’t geologists argue?
They’re too pelite
Why is this my last geologist joke?
Because you get the schist
Indie Rock Jokes
Why do hipsters like rocks?
They’re underground
What do hipsters think of carbon?
They liked it before it was coal
Why did the hipster like the rock?
It was magma before it was cool
Stoner Jokes That Rock
What do lazy rocks do?
Sit around all day getting stoned
How do rocks get stoned?
Joints
Next: 55 Owl Puns and Jokes
Rock Puns So Bad They Should Be A Crime
Why did the rock go to jail?
The quartz found him guilty
Why did the quartz find the rock guilty?
They had concrete evidence
How did the rock feel about going to jail?
He was petrified
Jokes That Will Make You Erupt With Laughter
What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?
Hey, do you want to be my lava?
What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?
Nice ash!
Why did the volcano sit around all day instead of getting a job?
He was an inactive volcano
Next: 83 Bird Puns
A Rocky Relationship
Did you hear about the rock dating the stone?
It was not just a plutonic relationship
What did the rock ask the stone?
Are you cummingtonite?
Why did the stone prefer the rock to all the others?
He was boulder
How was the rock and the stone’s relationship at first?
Solid
When they started dating, what did the rock say to the stone?
We’re going rock steady
Why did the rock and the stone break up?
The trust in their relationship eroded
Why couldn’t the rock and stone keep dating without trust?
It was the bedrock of their relationship
Why didn’t the stone get back together with the rock?
He had too many faults
What did the stone think of the rock?
That he wasn’t gneiss
Top Ten Rock Songs
Solid as a Rock – Ashlar and Simpson
Over my Boulder – Mike and the Rockanics
I Love Rock ‘n Coal – Stone Jett
It’s a Hard Rock Life – Jay Z(inc)
Don’t Quarry Be Happy – Rocky McFerrin
Lust for Lime – Igneous Pop
Heart of Stone – Chert
He is Heavy, He’s my Boulder – The Quarries
We will Rock You – Heavy Mercury
Rocks Off – Rolling Stones
Top Ten Films That Rock
Pyrites of the Caribbean
The Rocky Horror Picture Stone
The Pebble Wears Prada
Meet the Rockers
Home A-Stone
Journey to the Centre of the Earth
School of Rocks
Rock Star Wars
A Rockwork Orange
Rock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
