Traffic warning – be sure to check your wing mirrors before reading on!
We all love our cars, and we all appreciate some good puns! Fill your tank up with our motorised car puns below and entertain your friends and family this weekend. Do not forget your seatbelt!
1. How do cars greet each other?
‘Long time, no Seat!’
2. Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
3. Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
4. What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
5. How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
6. How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
7. Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
8. How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
9. What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
10. Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
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11. What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
12. Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
13. What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
14. How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
15. What do cars play at the weekend?
16. How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
17. What is a car’s favourite bug?
18. Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
19. What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
20. What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
21. What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
22. What is a car’s favourite element?
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23. Which car do sheep drive?
24. What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
25. What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
26. How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
27. Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
28. Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
29. What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
30. What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
31. What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
32. How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
33. Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
34. Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
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35. What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
40. What do French cars wear as hats?
41. What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
42. How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
43. What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
44. How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
45. Where do cars drink?
The Saloon bar.
46. What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
47. What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
48. What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
49. What does a child car play with?
50. How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
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52. How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
53. Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
54. What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
56. What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
57. What is a car’s favourite sport?
58. What is a car’s favourite job?
59. What is a car’s favourite band?
60. What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
61. What is a car’s favourite film?
62. What martial arts does a car do?