Best Dad Jokes Gone Flirty: That Make You Sugar Mommas Go Wild

What’s more attractive than a sense of humor? A wide selection of cringe-worthy dad jokes that would fire up any social gathering from a humble barbecue to a completely cooked event that gets all the singles but now looking interested at your moms for that next date while the kids are at their grandparents for the night. 

These are not as cringeworthy (but in a good way) dad jokes but added to the next level.  We have a choice selection for you to enjoy and try out next time that supermarket single mom is giving you the eye for attention and melts faster than the smores at a night out camping.  Enjoy the selection we have for you because nothing beats a good dad with a 12-pack win the flirting game.

Are you a bank? Because I want to make a deposit!

Any chance you’ve got an extra heart? Mine’s been stolen!

Is your last name Campbell? Because you’re mm mm good!

Even in zero gravity, I’d fall for you.

You must be made of Copper and Tellurium—because you’re CuTe!

There’s something wrong with my phone. Your number’s not in it!

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

Your beauty blinded me; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.

I volunteer as your victim tonight since you’re clearly dressed to kill.

Are you a charger? Because I’m dying without you.

Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.

Are you the lottery? Because I’m delusional and I think I’ve got a chance.

Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more!

When a penguin finds its mate, they stay together forever. Will you be my penguin?

Can I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Is Liam Neeson your dad? Because I’m TAKEN with you!

I want to be your handbag so I never leave your side.

Are you from France? Because Eiffel for you.

Aside from being extremely hot, what do you do for a living?

Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Hi, can I get your footyl jersey? You know your name and number!

You smell like trash Can I take you out?

Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?

I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

Do you work for Domino’s? Cuz you a fine pizza a*s.

Are you from Korea? Because you could be my Seoul mate.

Are you a campfire? Cause you’re hot and I want s’more.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet a*s!

Hey, can I follow you home? (What?) Oh sorry, it’s just my parents told me to follow my dreams.

Do you like Nintendo? Cuz Wii would look good together.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element.

Do you still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.

Why are cats, bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.

If kissing is spreading germs How about we start an epidemic?

I would avoid sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  Hope.  Hope who?  Hope you’ll go out with me!

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  Wendy.  Wendy who?  Wendy, do you think we can go on a date?

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  Wire.  Wire who?  The wire you still not on my phone’s contacts list?

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  Cheese.  Cheese who?  Cheese your cute!

I’m starting a new dating service in Prague. It’s called Czech-Mate.

How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!

Which is easier? Are you getting into those tight jeans or me getting you out of them?

Excuse me, miss, can I have the time? I’d check my watch but I can’t take my eyes off you.

Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.

Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.

Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth has clearly never stood next to you!

Are you a magician? Because when I’m looking at you, you make everyone else disappear!

Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!

You must be made of Copper and Tellurium—because you’re CuTe!

You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.

Somebody better call God, because he’s missing an angel.

Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

I took a sexual orientation test today. I Aced it. 

My three dogs  Rolex, Casio and Seiko- would watch over you.

Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

You remind me of a championship Bass. I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.

Is your name homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I should be.

I’ll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. After all, you live 20 miles away.

What’s the speed limit of sex? 68 cause at 69 you have to turn around.

Do you know what the difference is between sex and a grilled cheese sandwich? No? Well, let’s have lunch tomorrow.

Are you a squirrel? Cause I want to bust a nut in your mouth.

Hey girl, is your dad in jail? Because if I were him, I would be.

Hey, what has forty-two teeth and holds back Godzilla? My zipper

Do you like escape rooms? I’ve got one in my basement nobody’s been able to get out of yet.

Are you an American high school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside you.

Hey, are you an interest rate? Because I’d love to Compound you.

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?!

Damn girl, are you a haunted house? Because I’m scared to come inside you.

Girl, are you a barbeque? Cause I’d slap my meat all over your grill!

Are you a water balloon Because I wanna fill you with liquid.

Are you a Chinese restaurant? Because I have seen my cat in 3 days and I have a feeling I am gonna be eating that pu*sy.

Wanna be my roller coaster? The faster I go the louder you scream.

It’s okay if your phone autocorrects ‘fuck’ to ‘duck.’ You’re still using fowl language.

My p*nis was in the Guinness Book of World Records, but the librarian told me to take it out.

I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.

Your middle name must be Gillette. Because you’re the best a man can get!

Excuse me, is your name chamomile? Because you look like a hot tea!

Can you take me to the hospital? I just broke my leg falling for you.

If you were a Transformer you’d be Optimus Fine!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?

I would’ve said God bless you after that sneeze, but it looks like he already has.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you’ve got fine written all over you!

Life without you is like a broken pencil… totally pointless

If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be the McGorgeous.

I’m in the mood for pizza. A pizza you, that is!

I don’t consider myself a hoarder but I really would like to keep you forever.

Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot

Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber!

You owe me a drink. Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine!

You must be exhausted because you’ve been running through my mind all day