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Yo Mama Jokes For Kids

Yo Mama Jokes For Kids

After a long day at the office, I would sit on the train with a colleague of mine and reminisce about high school years and what we got up to as kids.  As the commute was over an hour long, we had to break up the boring sounds of each station being announced and the smell of other people.  The best jokes to come out of the internet as far as I have known, besides all the animal memes, were the good old ‘yo mama’ insults.  I once saw a live show online and they challenged each other to see who had the best’ yo mama’ joke and the audience would choose the winner.  It was a lot of fun, so we decided to charge up the artillery battery and fire off some good ‘yo mamas’ for fun. 

Yo mama jokes were the crème de la crème of comedy.  Whether it be eye rolling fun like a dad joke or a challenge during a night of drinks while playing beer pong. Considering mass insult to one’s mother, the teasing of how a mothers personality relates via a friendly salvo of insults and cruel bagging out of one’s dear mother can make even the most hardened person crack and burst out in laughter after a few rounds have been fired with the catchline “yo mama”.

Allow me to introduce some “yo mama’s”.  And let’s have some fun 😊.

50 Funniest Yo Mama Jokes for Kids 2022

1 Yo mama so dirty, she creeps out the muddy puddles

2 Yo mama so corny, she grew a corn field in her hair

3 Yo mama so special, she is limited edition

4 Yo mama so ancient, cleopatra worshipped her 

5 Yo mama so old, dinosaurs roamed her backyard

6 Yo mama so old, dust came out when she coughed 

7 Yo mama so greasy, McDonalds has her on the payroll

8 Yo mama so slow, it takes her three hours to watch 60 minutes

9 Yo mama so greasy, her freckles slide off

10 Yo mama so nasty, she gave my computer a virus

11 Yo mama so slow, a turtle race looks like grand prix

12 Yo mama so dirty, she jumps into mud and mud jumps out

13 Yo mama so cheap, she rinses ice cubes to reuse them

14 Yo mama so hairy, bigfoot took her on a date

15 Yo mama so bald, people can see what’s on her mind

16 Yo mama so cheap she asks for discounts on free samples

17 Yo mama is so bald, minions mistake her for Gru

18 Yo mama so cool, her hugs give you frostbite

19 Yo mama so sweet, it gave me a sugar high

20 Yo mama so hot, her hugs give me third degree burns

21 Yo mama so smart, google searches her for everything

22 Yo mama so old, she knew burger king when he was a prince

23 Yo mama so hairy, she only speaks Wookie

24 Yo mama so loud she speaks in surround sound

25 Yo mama so rich her house has a house

26 Yo mama is so slow she came last in a snail race

27 Yo mama so confusing, even scooby doo can’t figure her out

28 Yo mama so mad, McDonalds won’t give her a happy meal

29 Yo mama so silly, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it

30 Yo mama so silly, she slept on the floor of a mattress store

31 Yo mama so ugly, that she made an onion cry

32 Yo mama so ugly that the boomerang did not come back

33 Yo mama so fat she works as an IMAX screen

34 Yo mama so crazy, she barks when someone is at the door

35 Yo mama so dirty, a tornado hit and improved the house value

36 Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put M&M’s in the right order

37 Yo mama so skinny, her pyjamas only have one stripe

38 Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for petrol money

39 Yo mama so stupid, she used monopoly money to buy a hotel

40 Yo mama so old, her social security number is one

41 Yo mama so fat, she walked past the T.V and missed an entire season

42 Yo mama so ugly not even a caveman would buy anything from her

43 Yo mama so scary the government made her birthday Halloween

44 Yo mama so fat, she has two watches’: one for each time zone

45 Yo mama teeth so yellow, traffic slows down

46 Yo mama glasses so thick they can magnify the moon surface

47 Yo mama so strict she grounded you for getting a silver medal 

48 Yo mama so old, her birth certificate has an expiry date

49 Yo mama so lazy, she stuck her nose outside and let the wind blow it

50 Yo mama so dumb, she though twitter was social media for birds

30 Best Yo Mama So Fat Jokes for Kids

1 Yo mama so fat, that she can’t even jump to conclusion.

2 Yo mama so fat, she absorbed the dead sea salts and sank

3 Yo mama so fat, Norway is dark 24/7

4 Yo mama so fat, when she walks the earthquake siren goes off

5 Yo mama so fat, she was baptised in the Atlantic Ocean

6 Yo mama so fat, she irons her dress on the street

7 Yo mama so fat that you need to grease the bath to get her out

8 Yo mama so fat, she goes to a baker for a massage

9 Yo mama so fat, you need a steamroller to iron her clothes

10 Yo mama so fat, her belly button has an echo

11 Yo mama so fat, lifeguards put out a tsunami warning

12 Yo mama so fat, her fluffs power the wave pool

13 Yo mama so fat, I am still printing the image of her from 10 years ago

14 Yo mama so fat, she sat on Coles and it’s still going down, down

15 Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it

16 Yo mama so fat, humpty dumpty did not have a great fall

17 Yo mama so fat, she sat on an iPhone and made an iPad 

18 Yo mama so fat, she is the 10th planet in the solar system

19 Yo mama so fat, she weighs herself on the Richter scale

20 Yo mama so fat, every time she wears the letter H a helicopter lands on her

21 Yo mama so fat, that one size fits all is too small 

22 Yo mama so fat, buffets have to cut their trading hours

23 Yo mama so fat, when she goes camping bears hide their food

24 Yo mama so fat, the lift stays down

25 Yo mama so fat, her favourite tune is from the ice cream truck

26 Yo mama so fat, she has her own flag

27 Yo mama so fat, the horse on her polo shirt is real 

28 Yo mama so fat, google could not find her

29 Yo mama so fat, she is on both sides of the family

30 Yo mama so fat, when she went on a diet world hunger ended

30 Best Yo Mama So Stupid Jokes for Kids

1 Yo mama so stupid, she ran into a parked car

2 Yo mama so stupid, when I said it was chilly, she thought we were getting spicy food

3 Yo mama so stupid, she threw a pebble on the ground and missed 

4 Yo mama so stupid, her IQ is in the negative  

5 Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice container that said “concentrate”

6 Yo mama so stupid, she thought Facebook was a paperback

7 Yo mama so stupid, she tripped on a cordless phone

8 Yo mama so stupid, she tangled herself in the World Wide Web

9 Yo mama so stupid, she went to the microwave when the doorbell rang

10 Yo mama so stupid, she tried to catch a bird in mid air

11 Yo mama so stupid, she ordered blinker fluid for the car

12 Yo mama so stupid, she thought eBay was on the map

13 Yo mam so stupid, she tried to climb mountain dew

14 Yo mama so stupid, she used a ruler to see how long she slept

15 Yo mama so stupid, she paid for a free lunch

16 Yo mama so stupid, two of her last braincells are fighting for third place 

17 Yo mama so stupid, she wore a face mask for a computer virus

18 Yo mama so stupid, she would not buy a Gameboy because she was a girl

19 Yo mama so stupid, she thought the hunger games was an eating competition

20 Yo mama so stupid, she puts floaties on when it rains

21 Yo mama so stupid, she put her phone on airplane mode and thought it could fly

22 Yo mama so stupid, she waited for a train at my PlayStation

23 Yo mama so stupid, when I said “drinks on the house” she went and got a ladder

24 Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags in the computer in case it crashed

25 Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund

26 Yo mama so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind

27 Yo mama so stupid, she went to the doctor to get an iPhone

28 Yo mama so stupid, when they said “order in the court” she asked for a burger and fries

29 Yo mama so stupid, she took an hour to cook minute noodles

30 Yo mama so stupid, she did not brush her teeth because it did not have hair

30 Best Yo Mama So Short Jokes for Kids

1 Yo mama so short, she drives a micro machine

2 Yo mama so short, I need a microscope to see her 

3 Yo mama so short, she walks ants on a leash

4 Yo mama so short, she uses matches to build a house

5 Yo mama so short, even the stock market goes long

6 Yo mama so short, she needs a parachute to step from the carpet edge to the floor

7 Yo mama so short, she was mistaken for a jellybean and got eaten

8 Yo mama so short, she needs a backpack to carry her iPhone 

9 Yo mama so short, she jumped into a puddle and needed a lifesaver to float on

10 Yo mama so short, you can see her feet on her driver’s licence

11 Yo mama so short, her hula hoop is a cheerio

12 Yo mama so short, Santa mistakes her for an elf

13 Yo mama so short, she curls her hair with a grain of rice

14 Yo mama so short, she does pull ups on a staple

15 Yo mama so short, she can’t say anything without a microphone

16 Yo mama so short, she is the original Q-tip

17 Yo mama so short, she owns a mini house

18 Yo mama so short, she hang glides with Doritos

19 Yo mama so short, when she sits on the kerb her feet do not touch the road

20 Yo mama so short, she had to use a ladder to pick up a coin

21 Yo mama so short, she must have a running start to get on the toilet

22 Yo mama so short, she doesn’t roll dice she pushes them

23 Yo mama so short, she uses a toothpick in javelin

24 Yo mama so short, you would need to kneel to see her

25 Yo mama so short she is a teller at a piggy bank

26 Yo mama so short, she must slam dunk her bus fare

27 yo mama so short, she got run over by a hot wheel

28 Yo mama so short, people thought she was a chupa chup

29 Yo mama so short, her head smells like her feet

30 yo mama so short, she rides a fly to the shops

15 Best Yo Mama So Ugly Jokes for Kids

1 Yo mama so ugly, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck if it breaks

2 Yo mama so ugly, she makes hyenas cry

3 Yo mama so ugly, crocodiles give her compliments

4 Yo mama so ugly, she got arrested for disturbing the peace 

5 Yo mama so ugly, hello kitty says goodbye

6 Yo mama so ugly, she is friends with the predator alien

7 Yo mama so ugly, zookeepers scream “animal on the loose”

8 Yo mama so ugly, she makes dirt look clean

9 Yo mama so ugly, anytime she goes out she is returned to the zoo

10 Yo mama so ugly, the sun is too scared to rise

11 Yo mama so ugly, she enters Halloween costumes not wearing one

12 Yo mama so ugly, she gets a warning when looking in the mirror saying “viewer discretion advised”

13 Yo mama so ugly, the door locks itself

14 Yo mama so ugly, her reflection cannot look at her

15 Yo mama so ugly, she had one direction go another direction

15 Best Yo Mama So Poor Jokes for Kids

1 Yo mama so poor, she had to ask a beggar for money

2 Yo mama so poor, she watches T.V on a sketch-a-doodle

3 Yo mama so poor, she uses food stamps to send postcards

4 Yo mama so poor, she has coupons for the 99-cent store

5 Yo mama so poor, she uses corn stalks instead of curlers

6 Yo mama so poor, she uses shoelace for spaghetti

7 Yo mama so poor, she can’t afford to pay attention

8 Yo mama so poor, she had to put a big mac on lay by

9 Yo mama so poor, she must pay back a penny in instalments

10 Yo mama so poor, she bought her engagement ring out of a lolly machine

11 Yo mama so poor, she can’t attend a free show 

12 Yo mama so poor, she can’t free willy

13 Yo mama so poor, ducks throw bread at her

14 Yo mama so poor, she made a Gmail account to eat the spam

15 Yo mama so poor, the only plates she eats off are licence plates

15 Best Yo Mama So Dumb Jokes for Kids

1 Yo mama so dumb that she thought a television was a phone for the T.V.

2 Yo mama so dumb, she got an A in alphabet

3 Yo mama so dumb, she wears shoes on the opposite feet

4 Yo mama so dumb, she thought neighbourhood watch was a timepiece 

5 Yo mama so dumb, she thought weight watchers were spying on her

6 Yo mama so dumb, she thought fruit punch was a boxing term

7 Yo mama so dumb, she inhaled on the breathalyser

8 Yo mama so dumb, she poked her eyes out for a blind date

9 Yo mama so dumb, she tried to sing “tequila’ but forgot the words

10 Yo mama so dumb, she got a papercut reading an eBook on her kindle

11 Yo mama so dumb, she though seaweed was a drug

12 Yo mama so dumb, she uses body wash to cook

13 Yo mama so dumb, she plays pool in a bathing suit

14 Yo mama so dumb, she counts the order number backwards

15 Yo mama so dumb, even her brain cells fight each other

Ian Atkins
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