100 Very Best Halloween Jokes

100 Very Best Halloween Jokes

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a kid who goes trick-or-treating every October 31 or a grown-up who celebrates this scary day at home, Halloween is a special day for many people around the world! Who doesn’t enjoy getting ready to make a scary atmosphere with spooky pumpkin decorations, skeletons, and monsters around? Halloween-lovers have a tradition to wear creepy clothes and scare each other to death! But is this really possible without Halloween jokes?

Our favorite Halloween jokes are full of skeletons, pumpkins, ghosts, vampires, witches, and candies. Below you’ll find everything you need to create a magical and frightening atmosphere at the same time and have a good laugh along the way too! 

Whether you’re planning to have a spooky Halloween movie night with your friends or family, want to help your kid to collect more treats this year than ever, or just looking for a decent way to have fun and enjoy yourself on October 31 night, our Halloween jokes will indeed help you! We’ll hope that you’ll make your friends burst out laughing with these jokes and have the most exciting Halloween ever! Let’s get started.

In this article – Ghost Jokes / Witch Jokes / Vampire Jokes / Skeleton Jokes / Zombie Jokes / Monster Joker / Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

Top 100 Halloween Jokes & Halloween Puns

Ghost Jokes for Halloween

ghost halloween jokes

Q: What is the place where ghosts enjoy trick or treating the most?

A: The Dead Ends.

Q: Which browser do ghosts use to search for information?

A: Ghoul-gle.

Q: What do ghosts do if their eyesight gets blurred? 

A: They use spooktacles. 

Q: Do you know a reason why ghosts are too bad at telling lies?

A: Yes, everyone can see the right inside them. 

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?

A: I scream.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite meal for dinner?

A: Spook-ghetti!

Q: Female ghosts often go on diets. Wanna hear a reason? 

A: They’re trying to maintain ghoulish figures.

Q: How do female ghosts do their makeup?

A: They use vanishing cream.

Q: What kind of treats do ghosts give to trick-or-treater kids?

A: Booberries.

Q: Is it true that male ghosts can’t have babies? 

A: Yes, they have Hallo-weenies. 

Q: What is the place where ghosts buy candy for Halloween?

A: Ghost-ery store.

Q: What do ghosts wear at parties?

A: Boooots.

Q: Why did the ghost refuse to go to the Halloween Party?

A: He thought he was going to be booed.

Q: Why did the policeman ticket a ghost on Halloween?

A: The ghost didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: Which rides to the ghost enjoy the most at the fair?

A: Rollerghoster!

Q: What is the ghosts’ favorite movie studio?

A: The Univer-soul Studio.

Witch Jokes for Halloween

Q: What is the name of two witches who share an apartment with each other? 

A: Broommates.

Q: How do witches tell the time?

A: They use their witch watches.

Q: What is the name of a witch who has chickenpox?

A: An itchy witchy.

Q: What is the name of a pretty and friendly witch? 

A: A failure.

Q: What do female witches put on their faces?

A: Mas-scare-a.

Q: Why is trick or treating with twin witches is so hard?

A: Because you never know which witch is which.

Q: How do witches eat their bagels?

A: With scream cheese on the top!

Q: What is the witches’ favorite class at school?

A: Spelling!

Q: Why was a witch’s broom late?

A: Because it is over-swept.

Q: What kind of phone do witches have?

A: A touch-toad phone.

Q: What do witches use to style their hair?

A: Scare-spray!

Q: What is the sound witches make when they eat cereal at breakfast?

A: Snap, Cackle, and Pop!

Q: What is a witch who’s spending a vacation on the beach?

A: A sand-witch.

Q: Which Cub Scout event do the witches enjoy the most?

A: Brew and Gold.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Witches who?
Witches the road to the haunted castle?

Q: Which funfair ride do witches enjoy the most?

A: The scary-go round.

Vampire Jokes for Halloween

vampire halloween jokes

Q: Why do vampires love baseball so much?

A: Because they turn into bats every night.

Q: What do vampires use to get around on Halloween?

A: Blood vessels.

Q: What does it feel like when a vampire kisses you?

A: It feels like a pain in the neck.

Q: What was the result of the vampire marathon?

A: Neck and neck.

Q: How do vampires start writing letters?

A: “Tomb it may concern…”

Q: Why should you be afraid of vampires in the winter?

A: Because you may catch a Frostbite.

Q: Why do vampires refuse to attack Taylor Swift?

A: Because she has bad blood.

Q: Why do vampires frequently mouthwash?

A: To avoid having bat breath.

Q: What is vampires’ favorite national holiday? 

A: Fangs-giving!

Q: What is the name of a vampire’s dog?

A: A bloodhound.

Q: Why do vampires seem very sick? 

A: They’re coffin.

Q: What is vampires’ favorite fruit? 

A: A neck-tarine.

Q: And what is their least favorite meal?

A: Indeed, a steak!

Q: Why is it so easy to fool vampires? 

A: Because they’re suckers.

Q: What did a thirsty vampire say to his friend when they were passing the morgue? 

A: Let’s find a cool one!

Q: What do kids of a vampire and a teacher get very often?

A: Blood tests.

Skeleton Jokes for Halloween

Q: Who was the winner of the skeleton beauty contest?

A: No body.

Q: Why did the skeleton order a full-bodied wine?

A: because he didn’t have it himself.

Q: Why was the skeleton running?

A: Because a dog was after his bones.

Q: What do skeletons use for transportation?

A:  A scareplane.

Q: What can you do to make a skeleton laugh?

A: You should tickle his funny bone.

Q: What did a skeleton order at a restaurant?

A: Scare ribs.

Q: What is a nickname that skeletons don’t really mind being called?

A: Boneheads.

Q: Why do skeletons always seem so calm?

A: It’s because nothing gets under their skin.

Q: What is skeletons’ favorite musical instrument?

A: Definitely a sax-a-bone.

Q: Why was the skeleton so afraid of the storm? 

A: He didn’t have any guts.

Q: How did the skeleton know what was going to happen next?

A: He felt it in his bones.

Q: Why do skeletons always refuse to arrive at the prom? 

A: Because they have no body to go with.

Q: What do skeleton waiters say when they serve you a meal?

A: Bone Appetit!

Q: Why skeletons don’t like Halloween candy?

A: Because they don’t have a stomach for it.

Zombie Jokes for Halloween

Q: Why couldn’t the policeman arrest a zombie? 

A: It couldn’t be taken alive.

Q: Why are zombies so good at school?

A: Because of their dead-ication!

Q: How do zombies greet people?

A: “Nice to eat you!”.

Q: Which sea did a zombie learn how to swim in? 

A: In the Dead Sea!

Knock, knock…

Who’s there?

Ice cream!

Ice cream who?

Ice cream always whenever I see a zombie!

Q: What language do zombies use?

A: Latin, it’s a dead language.

Q: What do zombies eat at breakfast?

A: Rice Creepies.

Q: What is the name of the zombies’ sleepover?

A: Mass grave.

Q: What is zombies’ favorite type of bread?

A: Whole brain.

Q: Why didn’t the zombie go to school?

A: Because he felt rotten.

Q: What was the reason why the zombie couldn’t cross the street? 

A: He didn’t have the guts to walk.

Q: What is zombies’ favorite shampoo?

A: Head and Shoulders. 

Monster Jokes for Halloween

Q: What do monsters eat for breakfast?

A: Deviled eggs.

Q: Which Halloween monster is the best math student? 

A: Count Dracula.

Q: Which monster enjoys playing tricks at Halloween?

A: Prank-enstein.

Q: What is monsters’ favorite play?

A: Romeo and Ghouliet.

Q: How do monsters buy cookies on Halloween? 

A: They buy cookies from Ghoul scouts.

Q: What is monsters’ favorite cheese?

A: Monster-ella!

Q: What kind of monsters enjoy dancing the most?

A: Boogeymen.

Q: Name some creature who’s scarier than a monster.

A: A momster.

Q: Why did the monster’s mom knit him new socks for Halloween?

A: Because she noticed her son grew another foot.

Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Witch who?
Witch one will bring me tasty Halloween candies?

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Boo who?
Don’t be scared, it’s just my Halloween costume.

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Howl who?
Howl you know if you don’t open the door!

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Bee who?
Bee-ware! Monsters are out on Halloween!

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Eddie who?
Eddie-body get dressed! It’s time for a Halloween party!

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Ghost who?
Ghost is standing over there and I’ll give you some candy.

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Ben who?
Ben waiting to go to Halloween all day!

Nato Lagidze