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Pour some sugar on your day with this collection of super-sweet, super-silly Laffy Taffy jokes.
Laffy Taffy is just as well known for the jokes you’ll find on their wrappers than for their ultra-chewy taffy candy. You’re probably here because you’re craving the taste of these super-silly jokes. They may be as corny and sickly sweet as caramel popcorn, but sometimes, a bit of silliness is the only thing that will hit the spot.
The good news is you don’t have to buy and eat 61 Laffy Taffy candies in one sitting to get the benefit of their, um, unique brand of humor. We have searched far and wide and eaten way too many candies soyou don’t have to. The result, this collection our personal favorite Laffy Taffy jokes for you to enjoy.
Please keep these jokes under wrappers and beware! Too many sugary Laffy Taffy jokes in one sitting could cause diabetes.
64 of the Best Laffy Taffy Jokes
1. What did the policeman say to his tummy?
I got you under a vest!
2. What is the biggest room in the world?
Room for improvement.
3. What do sharks say when something radical happens?
Jawsome!
4. What do you call a broken window?
A plain in the glass.
5. What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?
Reality.
6. What kind of chain is edible?
A food chain. (ref)
7. What is smarter than a talking bird?
A spelling bee!
8. Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark!
9. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
His mother was in a jam!
10. What is a tree’s favorite drink?
Root beer.
11. What has no legs but can do a split?
A banana.
12. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?
It waves
13. What do you call a hippopotamus with no bottom?
A hippo-bottomless
Next: The Funniest What Do You Call Jokes
14. Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!
15. What prize do you get for putting your phone on vibrate?
The no bell prize.
16. What did the one campfire say to the other campfire?
We should go out sometime.
17. How did dinosaurs decorate their bedroom?
With rep-tiles!
18. Why did the cookie to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy.
19. What’s black, white, green and bumpy?
A pickle wearing a tuxedo
20. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
21. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
22. What is thin, white, and scary?
Homework.
23. Why is a bad joke like a blunt pencil?
It has no point (ref)
24. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
25. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn’t peeling well
26. What do owls say when they’re introduced?
Howl do you do?
Next: 56 What’s the Difference Between Jokes
27. What did the sidewalk do when he heard a funny joke?
It cracked up
28. What’s the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle.
29. Who took the frog’s car?
It was toad.
30. Why did the Dalmatian need glasses?
He was seeing spots
31. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
32. Why was the skeleton lonely?
He had no body to play with.
33. Where do cows go on Friday night?
To the mooooo-vies
34. Why does Where’s Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn’t want to be spotted.
35. In France, what do frogs eat?
French flies
36. What is an owl’s favourite subject?
Owlgebra
37. What do you call a lease of false teeth?
A dental rental.
38. What did the digital clock say to its mom?
Look mom, no hands
39. How do you cut the ocean in half?
With a sea saw!
40. What has 10 letters and starts with gas?
Automobile
Next: Jokes For Teens
41. What did the horse say when he tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up.
42. Why was the tomato red?
It saw the salad dressing
43. What do you call a baby with a drum?
A baby boomer.
44. Why did the bones cross the street?
They didn’t, the dogs ate them.
45. Where do hamsters go on vacation?
Hamsterdam.
46. What did the lunch lady say to Luke Skywalker?
Use the forks, Luke.
47. Who’s in charge of the corn?
The kernel!
48. What did the hurricane say to the island?
I’ve got my eye on you!
49. What did one nut say to the other nut when he sneezed?
Cashew!
50. What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies! (ref)
51. What did the melon say when she was asked to be married?
I cantelope
52. When does it rain money?
When there is a change in the weather.
53. Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long?
If it was 12 inches long it would be a foot!
54. How do bulls write?
With a bullpen.
55. What did the music teacher say when her students asked if they sing their favorite song?
“Of chorus”
56. What do clouds wear under their clothes?
Thunderwear!
57. What kind of horses go out after dusk?
Nightmares!
58. Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark
59. What did the pancake say to the baseball player?
Batter up!
60. Where should you go if your dog is missing?
The lost and hound.
61. Did you hear the joke about the toilet?
Never mind, it’s too dirty.
62. Why don’t lobsters share?
Because they are shellfish.
63. What did the tree say to the wind?
“Leaf” me alone.
64. What did YES say to NO?
Maybe.
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