The 64 Very Best Deez Nuts Jokes

The 64 Very Best Deez Nuts Jokes

America is still buzzing at the thought of Deez Nuts Jokes. Where did the name Deez Nuts come from?

Mostly, Immaturity.

Dr Dre can be credited in part. Dre’s “Deeez Nuuuts”  from the 1992 album the Chronic put the phrase on the map.

The phrase has appeared in pop culture from time to time over the last two decades. For example, this guy thought it was the funniest thing in the world for Deez nuts to be brought to “People’s Court” in 2014.

This incident inspired many memes, spoofs, and imitations.

In the literal sense of “Deez Nuts,” it refers to a man’s crown jewels. The many viral “Deez Nuts jokes,” now widely shared online, stem from Welvin Harris, who made a prank call. 

He dials his dad to ask if he received anything in the mail. When his dad asked him “what,” he replied, “Deez Nuts,” referring to his danglers, before bursting into laughter.

64 Incredible Deez Nuts Jokes


How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Si…
See Deez Nuts!


What is the easiest command you can teach your dog?
– I don’t know. Maybe roll over?
ROL-OVA Deez Nuts!


Do you want Apple to launch a new product?
– I hope so.
You hop-on Deez Nuts!


 I am so sick of this. This sucks!
– What sucks?
You suck on Deez Nuts!


 Hey, do you smell that?
– Nope. What does it smell like?
It smells like Deez Nuts!

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Do you know what happened in Kenya today?
– No, but you’re about to tell me.
Today Kenya FIT DEEZ NUTS in your mouth.


Excuse me, can you spell the word “indeed” for me please?
– No problem. I-N-D…
IN Deez Nuts!


Do you want to come with me to the West Indies?
– The West Indies?
Yes, in Deez Nuts!


Don’t sit on that!
– Sit on what?
SIT ON Deez Nuts!


What was the other name for Native Americans?
– You mean Indians?
I mean Deez Nuts!


Hey baby. Can you give me some money for a new dress?
– Yes, but..
Oh no. I don’t want to hear any more buts!
– Okay, baby. Then I’ll only give you Deez Nuts.


What is your favourite day of the week? Mine is Wednesday.
– I don’t know. Why Wednesday?
Because that’s the only day when you can eat Deez Nuts.


Can you move that?
– Move what?
Move Deez Nuts!


You wanna play with my new game dintroller?
  Play with whaat?
You can play with Deez Nuts!


Guess what SAKKON did
– Sakkon.. who’s that?
– Oh no, don’t…
SAKKON Deez Nuts!


Hey Paul, is Phil there?
– There’s no Phil here…
PHIL Deez Nuts!


Do you know Mr. Felfor that lives next door?
– Mr. Feltfor? I don’t think so. Why?


Josh, I think we need some time apart.
– Baby, why would you say that to me?
Because I’m tired from Deez Nuts!


I love Chef Boyardee’s pasta!
– Why do you love it?
Because Chef BOY-AR-Deez Nuts are always tasty!


– Honey, I’m hungry. What food do you have at your place?
Well, I have some nuts…
– What nuts?
Deez Nuts!


Knock, knock.
-Who’s there?
-It’s your boy Dee, open up!
-Dee, who?
-Deez nuts!


Hello, there, my guy. I have a bunch of pokemon cards. Wanna check these out?
-Yeah, I would love that, thanks
Okay, take a look at Deez Nutz.


Student: Teacher, I am tired of you giving me D’s every class.
Teacher: I am also tired of you not paying attention in my classes.
Student: I can’t focus when I am thinking about those colossal D’s.
Teacher: What D’s are you talking about?
Student: Deez nuts!


Roses are red, your eye will be blue, unless you allow me to place Deez nuts deep inside you.


Have you ever heard about the Russian millionaire Ivan Putindese?
– Ivan Putindese?
Yes, the Ivan PutinDEEZ Nuts!


Excuse me but are you Mr. Landese?
– Yes, I am. Why?
I saw you have some of Deez Nuts on your porch.


Excuse me, do you sell Foshake?
– Foshake? I don’t think so?
Foshake Deez Nuts!

Next: 155 Dad Jokes, Puns, and One-liners


Hey pal, I heard that you are Dee’s friend.
– Who’s Dee?
Deez Nuts!


Have you ever played World of Warcraft?
-Yes, I have.
Have you played a goblin?
-No, I dont think so.
Dude, you should Goblin on Deez Nuts.


Can you imagine dragons flying in the sky?
Yes, I can.
Then Imagine dragging Deez Nuts across your mouth.


You: teacher, what’s 4 x 2?
Teacher: eight
You: eight Deez Nuts


You: Dee asked me out yesterday.
Friend: who’s this guy Dee?
You: Deez Nuts!


Do you want me to buy one of these?
– Yeah sure
How about two of Deez Nuts.


“I’m sorry that Suko never called you back”
“Who is Suko?”


Where’s your munyayo?
– Huh? What’s that?


Hey bro, I need some of these.
-Some of what?
Soma Deez Nuts


What size are you wearing?
-I’m wearing double D’s. Why do you ask?
Cus I want to get some more of Deez Nuts.


​Afghan person: Assalamu alaykum, what will happen to the DN under Taliban rule?
American person: What do you mean by DN?
Afghan person: Deez nuts


Hey, I met someone at the store today who said that they were actually ugondese.”
– Where’s that, I’ve never heard of it.
Set location to UgonDeez nuts


Hey, are you hungry or thirsty?
– Yes, I am.
You can have some of Deez nuts.


Do you like tulips?
– Yes, why?
Cus you’re gonna love your two lips on Deez Nuts!


Good morning. I would like to know who’s in charge around here?
– Well, Deas is in charge. Do you know him?
Nope, I dont. Can you give me his number or his Instagram?
– Sure, if you want to have Deez Nuts so bad, I’ll give them to you.


A conversation in a bakery:
– Hello, is everything fresh around here
– Yes, everything is fresh from today.
– Okay, can I get a sample of something?
– Yes, what would you like to try?
– Let’s see, I wonder how Deez Nuts taste.


Honey, why are you leaving them here?
– Leaving what?
Leaving Deez nuts in your mouth!


Me: Have you ever been to Chewons?
You: No. What’s Chewons?
Me: Chew on Deez Nuts


Do you still have any music tapes or discs?
– Only albums.
Well, just look at Deez nuts.


I saw you dancing yesterday
– What? You saw me dancing where?
You were at the club. I saw your hoodie.
-What hoodie?
Who Deez Nuts

Next: 50 Offensive Jokes So Filthy You’ll Need A Shower


Me: Do you find parodies funny?
Friend: Yeah, sometimes I do.
Me: Well, how about a pair of Deez Nuts Enya Mouth?!


Mom, can I borrow your car?
– No, you can’t. Why don’t you borrow Deez nuts!?


Did you like the plot in this film?
– Nah. I believe we can come up with a better one.
So you want to come and film Deeeeeez Nuts!


Do you guys want some of my goodies?
– Yes, we do!
Okay, here’s a bag of good Deez Nuts!


How did your doctor’s appointment go?
– It was OK, but I have a vitamin D deficiency. I need to spend more time outside.
I can help you to get that D.
I’m willing to give you some of Deez Nuts!


Have you seen the movie starring Robin Williams called House of D?
-House of D? No.
House of Deez Nuts!


Have you been to an expo?
-Yes, I love expos.
Expose Deez Nuts.


Do you drink orange juice?
-Yes, I do.
Did you know that the orange juice SunnyD is bad for you?
– I dont know the…
Sunny Deez Nuts!


Do you like boats?
What is your favorite type of boat?
-I like fishing boats.
How about tugboats?
-They are powerful
Tug on Deez Nutz


Wanna join me on a trip to The Andes?
-The Andes? Where’s that supposed to be?
It’s right next to the valley of An Deez Nuts!


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Candice who?
Candice nuts fit in your mouth?


Are you a squirrel?
Because you can have deez nuts.

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Lazar Djambazov
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Lazar Djambazov
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