The 30 Very Best August Jokes

The 30 Very Best August Jokes

August is often called harvest month. Much of the Northern Hemisphere starts to harvest during this time. August is also famous as the month the Earl of Sandwich invented the Sandwich. Plus, it is the last of the dog days of summer. Augusta Cesar named this month. Apparently, the entire family had fairly large egos. 

According to legend, nice weather on St. Lawrence Day on 10th means there will be a fair Autumn. So it’s kind of like Ground Hogs Day for the fall.

  • August 1 is known as Lammas Day, which means its mid-point between summer and autumn, and the time when wheat and corn is ready to harvest. Sadly, it has nothing to do with Llamas.
  • In Canada, August first is called: Heritage Day or British Columbus Day. Somebody needs to tell them Columbus wasn’t British.
  • The first week of August is clown week. No joke. 
  • August 8th is Sneak a Zucchini onto your neighbor’s porch day. It’s amazing what people will do to get rid of zucchini.
  • August 19th is Orville Wright’s birthday. The man who was right when he said, “You know I bet man can fly.”

Why do parents love August?

 Soon their kids will return to school.

Why do cats like August 12?

It ends the dog days of summer.

What’s the humblest month?

Au gosh.

What makes August so hot?

The sun.

What does Taylor Swift say to August?

You need to cool down,

Kid: Dad, did you know August 3rd is National Watermelon Day?

Dad: Nope, but if I see a melon I will water it!

Why are there now major holidays in August?

It’s too hot to celebrate.

Dog: Ha, Cat! We get the dogs of summer.

Cat: We get nine lives.

True or False: August is the only month with two u’s in its name?

That would be true.

What do you call in August.

An  August gust.

What do you call a dog in August?

A hot dog.

Where do August have more nights than days?

In England. (If you count nights with a K)

Dad: Son, I once had a really hot date!

Son: Really?

Dad: Yep, August 19th it was 100 degrees.

What is a redundant name?

August Summer

If I had two months to live I’d pick August and December, because I love the nice weather and Christmas!

What’s the best drink in August?

Cool aid.

What do you call a snowman in August?

A snow puddle.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?


August who?

A gust of wind would feel nice right now.

More Months Related Jokes for YouJanuary Jokes / February Jokes / March Jokes / April Jokes / May Jokes / June Jokes / July Jokes / August Jokes / September Jokes / October Jokes / November Jokes / December Jokes

John Zakour