The 30 Very Best February Jokes

February is one of the colder months of the year in the northern hemisphere. But the good news is the days start to have more light. Plus, it is a short month. And the middle of the month has a day of love.

The Saxons called February “Sol-monath” which means cake month. Every month should be cake month.

At one point, February only had 23 days. .And people still complained it was too long.

February is the only month where it’s possible there won’t be a full moon. So you don’t have to worry about werewolves!

Things February is known for:

Leap year: when we get an extra day in February!

Valentine’s Day: great day for candy and flower sales.

Groundhogs Day: not every hog gets its day but groundhogs do.

Being the hardest month to spell.

February is funny. It’s the shortest month of the year, but often seems to last the longest.

What should you never give a dentist for Valentine’s Day? Candy.

Dad: Son, do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Kid: Yes, February 14th.

What date sounds like a train?

2/2/22 Two Two Two Two

How many Mondays are in February?

Too many.

People born on February 29th good jumpers?

Because they were born on a leap year.

My grandma has only had 20 birthdays! How is that possible?

She was born on February 29th.

Should leap year be called leap, leap, leap years, since it only comes once every 4 years?

What triples in price in February?

Roses on Valentine’s Day.

Kid: Dad, what are you getting mom for Valentine’s Day?

Dad: She always has a gift when she married me.

Kid: I didn’t think you were supposed to give gag gifts for Valentine’s Day.

I don’t believe in Groundhogs Day! The Easter bunny told me it was nonsense.

Son: Our dog is sad, groundhog’s get a day in February, but not dogs.

Dad: Don’t worry, the dog will have his days in the summer.

Dad: How many Valentine’s day cards did you get, honey?

Daughter: None.

Dad: Ah, I’m sorry.

Daughter: Don’t be, I got a bunch of valentine’s texts.

Dad: Great, now I’m worried.

Most people think February is the shortest month, but that’s really May with 3 letters.

Sometimes February has 29 days. How many other months have 29 days?

All of them.

To modernize Groundhog Day, they should change the Groundhog to a fast moving Hedgehog.

Why are groundhogs good at predicting rather?

They aren’t.

Daughter: Dad, what did you get mom for Valetine’s day?

Dad: She told me not to get her anything. So I didn’t.

Daughter: Gee, I hope my future step dad is smarter than you.

Quite frankly, aren’t all hogs groundhogs?

Can you imagine how messy it would be if groundhogs were flying-hogs?

What does it mean when a groundhog doesn’t see its shadow?

The groundhog needs glasses.

Kid: Dad, how do they say Valentine’s Day is France?

Dad: In French.

Why do people walk slowly in February?

Because it’s not March. 

What does it mean when the groundhog sees its shadow?

The sun is shining.

What’s the best day to schedule a meeting you don’t want to go to?

February 30th.

When’s the best day to wear a tu-tu?

February 2^nd.  (It’s 2/2)

Dad: So, when I was younger I always had a date for Valentine’s day!

Kid: Really?

Dad: Yep, February 14^th.

What do liars call February?

Fib ruary.

Fun Trivia: The third Monday of every February is when the US celebrates the birthday or two of their greatest presidents: Washington and Lincoln. The date can sometimes be Washington’s actual birthday, but never Lincoln’s. Guess it pays to be the father of a country.

Facebook was founded on February 4th,  2004. Which means Facebook is way younger than its users.

More Months Related Jokes for You – January Jokes / February Jokes / March Jokes / April Jokes / May Jokes / June Jokes / July Jokes / August Jokes / September Jokes / October Jokes / November Jokes / December Jokes