The 30 Very Best December Jokes

The 30 Very Best December Jokes

December is the last month of the year (the 12th month even though Decem means “ten” but that’s because it was named before Jan and Feb were added to the calendar.) After January and February were added to the calendar (700 BCE, more or less) December was cut to 29 days, for some reason. Then finally two more days were added to December making it 31 days. 

December may be the last month of the year but it’s the month that starts winter in the Northern Hemisphere. 

December ends the year with some big holidays, such as Hanukkah, Christmas and  Boxing day (in Canada.)

December 31 may very well be the biggest party of the year as the world celebrates the ending of the current year and the coming of the new year on New Year’s Eve. The day could probably also be called Waste of Confetti day.

Some of the fun holidays in December are:

St. Nicholas day is in early December, this is the guy who inspired Santa. Some still call Santa good ole Saint Nick. It’s good he gets a day before he does his big trip.

International Mountain day: sadly hills don’t get their own day, either do mole hills.

National Violin day: not sure if there is a national “worlds smallest violin day”. 

Nation day of the Horse: which for a lot of young girls is every day.

Underdog day: not to be confused with underwear day. But really every underdog should have their day.

The 26th is Candy Cane day. Since your don’t need them on the tree any longer you might as well eat em.

Who doesn’t like the Times Square celebration on New Year’s Eve?

The people who have to clean up after it.

What does Santa do to keep in shape?

He likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

Why is Santa chubby?

He only works one night a year and spends it eating cookies.

What do dogs think Christmas trees are?

Christmas pee spots.

It’s amazing with all the cool things Santa’s elves can make they couldn’t design fog lights instead of needing to use a reindeer with a shining nose.

Where do generals like to stand during the Holidays?

Under the missile-toe.

Doesn’t eggnog sound like something a caveman would drink?

Why are there twelve days of Christmas, yet only one Christmas eve?

What do the elves do on December 26?

They have a snow ball.

Who’s got the worst job at the North Pole?

The elve on reindeer cleanup.

What do elves use when they hurt they legs?

Candy Canes.

What’s the difference between a real Christmas tree and an artificial one?

The real one costs more and lasts less time.

What was Scrooge’s favorite bug?

The ba hum bug.

Elf: Santa, I’m leaving.

Santa: Where do you expect to get work?

Elf: Amazon. 

Santa: Man, those guys are looking to put me out of business.

What do you call bells in jello?

Jiggle bells.

What do you call bells that sound like laughter?

Giggle bells.

Knock Knock…

Who’s there?


Elf who?

Elf who has a lot of toys to load on a sled.

More Months Related Jokes for YouJanuary Jokes / February Jokes / March Jokes / April Jokes / May Jokes / June Jokes / July Jokes / August Jokes / September Jokes / October Jokes / November Jokes / December Jokes

John Zakour