Ducks, mallards, anas platyrhynchos, or whatever you’d like to call them. Few animals inspire humor like our feathered friend the duck. Whether it’s their round compact bodies, their large bills, or their webbed feet, the duck deserves a spotlight. There’s no holds bird when it comes to these 60 duck jokes, so get ready!
60 Duck Jokes and Duck Puns
That Will Leave You Quackling
1.) Did you ever hear about the poor duck who wanted plastic surgery for his face? He couldn’t afford the bill.
2.) Daffy didn’t mind that he lost the swimming match against Bugs.
It was like water off a duck’s back.
3.) Did you ever hear about the duck that got his feathers knocked off?
He couldn’t tell up from down.
4.) The rest of Joey’s aviary is so well behaved!
He just couldn’t get his ducks in a row.
5.) What snacks do ducks like to eat with their cheese?
6.) Why was the baby duck sad?
He was feeling down.
7.) There were no more clients for the duck doctor.
Everyone knew he was a quack!
8.) What does a duck say when they’re sick?
They’re feeling under the feather.
9.) Did the duck couple make plans for their night out?
No, they decided to wing it.
10.) Why do spiders like ducks so much?
Their webbed feet.
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11.) What point of a view does a duck write a book in?
12.) What did the bird in the air yell when the bird in the water was in danger?
13.) What document did the duck politician write on his mouth?
The bill of rights.
14.) Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage?
He smelled fowl.
15.) What does a duck get at the baseball game?
16.) I’ve noticed a lot of rubber waterfowl in TV shows lately.
Getting sick of all this produck placement.
17.) What is it called when a duck commits an illegal act in waterpolo?
18.) What news did the duck get from the doctor?
He had a perfect bill of health!
19.) I went searching for ducks at the pond but only found other birds.
It was a wild goose chase.
20.) Where do ducks go to search for jokes?
The world wide webbed feet!
21.) How do ducks propose?
With a wedding wing.
22.) The duckling got grounded for his language
He had a fowl mouth.
23.) How did the duck parents know their duckling was a prodigy?
He was eggcelent from birth!
24.) What do you call slang between young ducks?
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25.) What kind of egg does an optimistic duckling hatch from?
Sunny side up.
26.) What kind of egg does a troublemaker duckling hatch from?
27.) What kind of egg does a calm and collected duckling come from?
28.) What kind of egg does a disorderly duckling come from?
29.) What sound does the son of a chicken and a duck make?
30.) What do you call a kind and successful duck?
A waddle citizen.
31.) What fabric softener to ducks use?
32.) Why did the duck need his window fixed?
There was a quack in it!
33.) What does a duck say when they disagree with someone?
34.) What was the secret agent duck named?
35.) What do American ducks set off on the forth of July?
36.) What game did the duck play at the arcade?
37.) What does a duck use to break an almond open?
38.) Where do ducks go shopping?
39.) What do you call the evil ruler of a small pond?
40.) What did the duck say as it set a monster upon its pond?
“Release the quacken!”
41.) What does a duck shout when its angry?
“What the duck?”
42.) One day a duck ran into his cousin from Canada
He was a bit of a loon.
43.) Ducks can’t carry up to four fish in their bill.
But a peli-can!
44.) The duck detective new something was amiss the second he took the case.
He suspected fowl play.
45.) What slogan did the geese use in their anti-duck propaganda?
“Quack is wack.”
46.) What game does a duck play at the bar?
47.) Why don’t ducks need smartphones?
The web is already on their feet!
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48.) What did the cow and duck name their new rock band?
Cheese and quackers!
49.) What do you get when you cross a duck and a wiener dog?
50.) What do you call a duck that’s biting someone?
51.) What do you call a ghost duck?
52.) The duck was upset by how little his boss paid him.
He said it was a poultry sum.
53.) Where do ducks live?
54.) What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie?
Lord of the Wings.
55.) Did you hear what the delinquent duck said when his teacher told him to stop talking in class?
“Waddle you do about it?”
56.) Who was the duck’s favorite politician?
57.) What do you call it when a group of mallards is making too much noise?
58.) What’s the name of Mr. Duck’s favorite drummer?
59.) How do you know if a duck is scared?
He’s quacking in his boots.
60.) You can’t get any information from Spy Duck.
He’s a tough nut to quack.