Thanksgiving is one of the great national holidays that make family members meet each other in an amicable atmosphere. It’s time when all our loved ones sit around the huge table to express their gratitude towards preceding year and harvest. But what is thanksgiving without funny jokes?
It’s a day when dad can watch football all day on his couch, cut turkey while telling the pilgrims’ story 17th time, and scold everyone who makes him stop his story for a few seconds. Impatient guests are waiting for the meal and playful children are stealing uncooked drumsticks. After that you can attend the biggest bustle of relatives and what can fix Thanksgiving Day even though it’s not broken? Right, jokes, puns, one-liners….
We have a huge list of turkey jokes, kid-friendly jokes, pilgrim jokes, knock-knock jokes, which can magically bring together every mad relative. In order to enjoy each of them, you need to thoroughly read and find hidden keys that open the secret door of a belly laugh. But pay attention and don’t try useless ones like a tur-key.
Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes
- Why turkey prefers android? Because he prefers say googlegoogle.
- How turkey got famous? He played in “Harry Potter and the gobbler of fire”.
- Why did turkey regret not studying spelling? He wrote gravy instead of grave in his testament.
- What happened when turkey messed with bad boys? They beat the stuffing out of him!
- Which key is useless and have legs? Tur-key.
- Why did turkey say no to dessert? He said he was already stuffed.
- Have u heard about turkey’s new phone ringtone? It’s WingWingWing!
- Why did turkey create a band? Because he already had drumsticks.
- Why did a concert get cancelled? Somebody ate the drumsticks!!
- What turkey says to his assistant? Googlegoogle.
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food!
- Why movies played by turkey are restricted? Because of their fowl language.
Thanksgiving Food Jokes
- I accidentally sat on potatoes, I guess we will serve mashed potatoes today.
- What do you call depressed cranberries? Blueberries.
- What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
- Why did cranberries go red? They saw turkey dressing.
- Why did cranberries turn into blueberries? Someone was mean towards them.
- What’s pumpkin’s favorite thing to do on their free time? SQUASH!
- Who scared the cranberry? A Boo-berry.
- What happened to corn that got complimented at the dinner? Popped.
- How long does it take to eat one slice of pumpkin pie? 3,14 seconds.
- How to leave the turkey in vagueness? I’ll tell you later.
Next: Thanksgiving Puns: Here’s Stuffing To Laugh About This TG
Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
- What’s one thing that you’ll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving? You’ll both be filled with stuffing.
- Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
- What you can’t eat at thanksgiving dinner? Thanksgiving breakfast and lunch.
- Why do turkeys always “gobble, gobble”? Because he always skipped the etiquette classes.
- Guess who’s afraid of thanksgiving? Turkey? No, my pants.
- What do you call a ghost turkey? Poultrygeist.
- When are the turkeys the most grateful? The day after Thanksgiving.
- What are you thankful for? I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.
Pilgrim TG Jokes
- Why are pilgrims’’ pants always too loose? Because they always wear buckles on their hats.
- April showers bring May flowers, guess what May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
- What genre do pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
- If pilgrims were alive today, what would be the most surprising thing about them? Their age.
- What would pilgrim wear for Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
- If pilgrims travelled on Mayflower, what do students travel on? Scholar ships.
TG Knock-Knock Jokes
Maya. Maya who?
Maya get another drumstick?
Auntie Jane who?
Open the door you little jester.
Kipp. Kipp who?
Kipp some pie for me, I want more.
Harry up I’m hungry.
Dewey have any leftovers?
Wanda go watch football?
Annie body seen the turkey?
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t eat this much.
- What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts? May-flour.
- What unit of measurement did pilgrim cookbooks use? Pilgrams.
- What’s Cullen’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
- What do selfish people call Thanksgiving? Thankstaking.
- What’s mathematicians’ favorite thanksgiving food? Pumpkin pi.
- What’s turkey’s favorite song? “I’m all about that baste”.