The 50 Very Best Cat Jokes

The 50 Very Best Cat Jokes

Siamese, Persian, Sphynx, Himalayan and Abyssinian they come in all shapes and sizes and the list goes on and on. But one thing is for certain whatever the breed, behind every cat is a tried and true Cat Lover. We love our furry friends! They are part of families and they are our friends.

So take a moment, sit back in your favorite spot, stretch out in the sun or lean against your best scratching post and enjoy 50 of the funniest jokes all about feline friends: Cats.

50 Funny Cat Jokes and One-Liners

1- What does a cat eat before it’s main meal? A Mouse-bouche.

2- How does a cat make coffee? In a Purr-culator.

3- Where do French cats like to hide? Cat-a combs.

4- How do Cats organize their books? They use a Cat-alouge.

5- What score did the kitten get in its test today in school? 10/10. ~ Purr-fect

6- What do you call a cat who starts something? A Cat-alyst.

7- What do you call a cat sitting on a leaf? A Cat-apillar.

Next: 50 Cat Puns 

8- Why did the cat go to prison? For Cat-napping his nemesis.

9- Where did cats live in Ancient Greece? The Panther-non.

10- What did the mother cat say to her children? Stop kitten-ing around.

11- Why was the hippy cat happy? She was Fe-line groovy.

12- What did the cat say to the cow? How Meow brown cow.

13- What do you call a feline chimney sweep? A cat on a hot tin roof.

14- Did you hear about the cat who won the lottery? He was ecs-Cat-ic.

15- Why was the cat sent to her room? She had a Hissy fit.

16- Did you see the feline stand up comic? They were Hiss-terical.

17- What do you call cats that fall over a cliff? A Cats-cade.

18- Which cat threw the biggest and most lavish parties in the 1920’s? The Great Catsby.

19- Why did the cat go to jail? He commited a Feline-oney.

20- Why did the cat poop on the floor? Because we lit-ter

21- How do you sort cats into groups? You put them into Cat-orgiries

— 22nd of 50 Cat Jokes

22- Why did the cat go to jail? He was caught Lion-ing to the police.

23- What do cats put on their French fries? Catsip.

24- How does a cat boil water? They use a Cat-tle.

25- Why did the cats get expelled from school? They were cheetahs.

26- Who gives presents to good cats at Christmas? Santa Claws.

27- Why was the tiger held in contempt? Because he was a liger.

28- What do cats keep in their homes? Furr-niture.

29- How did they know the cat was an excellent fencer? He was Sabre-tooth.

30- What cat was a member of King Arthur’s round table? Sir Lance-Ocelot.

Next: 80+ Dog Jokes

31- Why did one cat massage the other? It was Kneading attention.

32- What do you call a large group of cats? Cat-tle.

33- What do you call a cat that is tortoiseshell and white colored? Calico-ordinated.

34- What San Francisco food do cats love to eat? Mice-a-roni.

35- What happens when you tame a wildcat? They become a mildcat.

36- What do you call a cat with eight legs? An Octo-pussy.

— 37th of 50 Cat Jokes

37-What do you call a cat who does the bare minimum? A Mere-cat.

38- Where does a postman drop off a cat’s mail? The litter box.

39- Where do cats sell their second hand goods? The Paw-n shop.

40- What religion do all cats follow? Cat-tholicism.

41-What kind of boats do cats like the most? A CAT- amaran

42- What job do most cars think their owners have? CAT-ering

43- Why was the cat so sweaty? It was so moggy outside

44- Why were the cats meow so low? He was Whisker-ing

45- What type of cats become exotic dancers? Mal-teasers

46- How for the cat get a promotion at work? They were Puss-istant

47- Why is the lion the king of the jungle? He is Furr-ocious

48- Where do American cats like to vacation? The Cat-skills

49- What delicacy do dogs love? Cat Loaf and Clowder

50- What is the study of cats from the past called? HISS-tory

— Bonus Cat Jokes

What does a scared cat say?
Stop freaking meowt.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

How do cats maintain law and order?
Claw enforcement.

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

When you’re a mouse.

— Cat Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claws who?
Claws the door, it’s cold!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cat who?
Cat you understand!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hans who?
Hans off my kitten!

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Nicholas Thomas
Nicholas Thomas