- HUMOR
100 Best Halloween Dad Jokes
Sometimes a good laugh is all we need to make your stressful days better. Guess what is a crucial key for a good belly laugh and happy day? Right, it’s a good joke. If you are looking for jokes like that, you have come to a right place. We have a hilarious guess who/ guess what jokes for you that will not only make you laugh, but also may have you guessing. You can find wise jokes, hilarious jokes, just funny jokes, but trust us, they are the best ones you have ever heard. So if you want to sparkle up your day a little bit, keep reading, 70 wonderful jokes are waiting for you to smile.
1. Guess what, Facebook? I’m not going to tell you what’s on my mind today.
2. My wife told me that women were better at multi-tasking than men. So, I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what?
She couldn’t do either.
3. My boss just came back from his holidays; guess what country he went to?
To Boss-Bados.
4. Guess what kind of hike I went today?
I hiked my pants.
5. Guess what number of pessimists it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
None – they gave up.
6. A boy went up to the counter serving orange punch. He saw there was a huge line and so, he came back after an hour. Guess what?
There was no punchline.
7. Two eggs went for a comedy gig, guess what one egg said to the another?
Let’s get cracking.
8. I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered?
Spook-eti.
9. My twin brothers dressed up as a bird this Halloween, guess what they said?
Trick or tweet.
10. An archer who won a gold medal is opening a new store. Guess what he named it?
Target.
11. My mom is coming home after a work trip tonight, guess what I am getting?
I am getting yelled at.
12. Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet?
Narnia business
13. The gym instructor broke up with his girlfriend, guess what happened?
It didn’t work out.
Next: The Funniest What Do You Call Jokes
14. Guess what monkeys eat in space?
Space bananas!
15. There was a candy party, guess who was late as usual?
Choco-late.
16. A famous tortoise lives next door. Guess what it’s called?
A shell-ebrity.
17. Once there was a fish with no eye, guess what they call it?
Fsh.
18. Guess what kind of hike I went on today?
I hiked up my pants!
19. Santa Clause’s elves went to school, guess what they learnt?
The elfabets.
20. I was dreaming of an orange ocean tonight. Guess what?
It was a Fanta Sea.
21. I was trying to solve a few equations about circles. Guess what?
It was pointless.
22. It has no life but it still dies, guess who? A battery.
23. I saw a fairy tale T-shirt at an extremely low price. Guess what?
It was a fair retail.
24. Guess what I have right now?
Your ear!
25. It sits in a corner and still travels around the world, guess who?
A stamp.
26. The mathematician served something special for dessert. Guess what?
It was a pi.
Next: 56 What’s the Difference Between Jokes
27. Guess what the chop said to the steak on their first date?
It’s so nice to finally meat you!
28. It’s always coming but never comes, can you guess what it is?
Tomorrow.
29. The baby tomato was running late for school. Guess what his mommy said?
“Come on, ketch-up!”
30. The banana went to the doctor. Guess what happened?
He was not peeling well.
31. One friend took the elevator while the other took the staircase. Guess what?
Both were raised differently.
32. A girl won a Scrabble tournament. Guess what she got?
A re-word.
33. Guess what coffee and motivational coaches have in common?
They encourage people to espresso themselves!
34. A grumpy man spent an evening with his friends at a comedy club and asked his doctor for a course on antibiotics. Guess what for?
He thought laughter was infectious
35. Guess what made the sea monster such a successful comedian?
He was always kraken everyone up.
36. Guess what coat hangers do on the weekend?
They hang out, of course!
37. The banana went to the doctor. Guess what happened?
He was not peeling well.
38. Scientists experimented on a rabbit and a bug, guess what they get?
A bugs bunny.
39. Guess what? What? Good guess.
40. Some people play the sexist card; some people play the racist card. Guess what my wife plays?
My credit card.
41. Guess what bands turbines love to listen to?
Not sure, but they’re big heavy metal fans!
42. Guess what I’m going to do if I get Alzheimer’s?
Guess what I’m going to do if I get Alzheimer’s?
43. I won a wet t-shirt competition. Guess what I got?
Pneumonia.
44. Guess who woke up with 20 missed calls from his ex?
My ex.
Next: Laffy Taffy Jokes
45. Met a cute guy at the bar, gave him my number and told him to text me when he got home
I guess he’s homeless.
46. My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up.
Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore.
47. Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
Everybody.
48. If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would’ve named her biggest dragon?
Moron.
49. New York is going to the Halloween costume party, guess what he is dressing up as?
New Orleans.
50. Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?
A “B”.
51. Guess what happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
52. Two monkeys are sharing an Amazon account, guess what are they called?
Prime mates.
53. Guess what did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
54. Guess what’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
55. Guess what? What? I said guess.
56. The toast was having a sleepover. Guess what he was wearing?
His favorite pa-jam-as.
57. Guess what method of transportation self-driving cars use on their day off?
A human driver.
58. Guess what bands turbines love to listen to?
not sure, but they’re big heavy metal fans!
59. Guess what I have right now?
Your attention.
60. How do you accurately guess what you’re having for dinner?
You cook it yourself!
61. A girl won a Scrabble tournament. Guess what she got?
A re-word.
62. Guess why elephants always get the first word?
Because their opinion carries a lot of weight!
63. Can you guess who you should never lie to?
An x-ray operator – they can see right through you!
64. Can you guess who you should never lie to?
An x-ray operator – they can see right through you!
65. Can you guess where that famous painter’s ear went?
Not sure, but I saw it get in a Van and Gogh!
66. Can you guess what the calendar worker got fired for?
He took a day off without telling anyone!
67. Guess what volcanoes do when they have feelings?
They lava each other for a long time.
68. Guess who Dracula brings with him to movie premieres?
His ghoul-friend!
69. Guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
70. Can you guess why learning sign language is such a good idea?
Because it is quite handy!
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I am Mariam, 18 years old student from Georgia. I really enjoy writing creative and entertaining articles. So, I always put my whole heart into them. I hope they brought you joy and made your day a little brighter.
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