Let’s be honest, picking up people isn’t easy.
Maybe if you’re a weightlifter it helps, but chances are you’ll probably get kicked out of the place if you start bench pressing your potential next date. So best to stick to pickup lines when it comes to attracting someone that catches your eye. There’s a fine line when it comes to delivering these opening gambits between funny and just plain bad. It’s hard to know which side of this line you’re stepping on when you deliver that all important opening.
So that’s why we’re helping you out and giving you examples of both. First the funniest lines that’ll make the other person smile, followed by the ones that lean towards the cringe maybe with that cheeky laugh at the end of it. If you use the funny ones wisely you can show yourself to be someone that doesn’t take themselves too seriously and someone worth talking to. If you use the bad ones you’ll still get attention but be quick to show some self awareness before your cutie has already picked up their coat and left.
A good sense of humour is often the way to someone’s heart so why not start off straight out the gate showing confidence and a playful side. So get flirting and trying out these lines on apps and in the real world to get that cutie noticing you.
65 Funniest Pick Up Lines
I’m going to call you telescope because you are looking so good right now.
You make me want to be an archeologist because I can’t wait to date you.
I have a secret, I’m an assassin and I need to take you out.
They see me rollin’ because I’m head over heels for you.
Do you work at the zoo because you’re putting butterflies in my stomach.
I don’t need to look at my iphone because you’re the apple of my eye.
If you were a car you’d be old and used but only because I’ve got a massive crush on you.
My uber rating is 5 stars so I’d be great at taking you home.
If you’re here then where’s the Earth’s core? Surely there’s nothing more hot and magnetic.
Next time you’re shopping can you take me off the shelf because I want to be an item with you.
I’m reminded of a toy that a cat’s spotting on a windowsill, soon we’re hitting it off.
Are you wikipedia? You’ve answered all my questions
Do you use excel? Can I use your sheets?
I heard God’s looking for us so he can light his candles, we’re a match made in heaven
Call me DD Bean – your perfect match.
Can you call a doctor because my heart just skipped a beat.
Are you a surgeon because you’re tugging at my heartstrings.
I feel like a boxer who just took a bribe because I’m falling for you.
Did you study at Hogwarts, I think I’m under your spell.
Have you been working with NASA? You’re outta this world.
I’d book you for a comedy night because you’re a solid 10.
They must hate you on aeroplanes because you’re always smoking.
Someone needs to quarantine you, that smile is contagious.
I worry about your energy bills because you are lighting up this room right now.
Is your name Taser? You are always stunning.
Are you a member of the royal family because you’re majestic.
I have to confess I am a bit of a snake because you’re really charming me right now.
Are you in the army because you’re demanding my attention.
Where abouts do you live? Apart from in my dreams.
If I had to guess what you studied it must be fine art.
You remind me of that Bob Dylan song Hurricane because you’ve blown me away
Have you got any room in your garden because we could make a great pear.
I’m not great with words, I’m more of a numbers person. Can I have yours?
My name’s peanut butter so yours must be Jelly because we go so well together.
How do you have the time to be here when you’re in my dreams so often?
Do you want to go into business? I’d love to have you as my partner.
Just want to make sure there’s nothing flammable nearby as we’ve got a spark.
Doesn’t it break fire regulations to have someone this hot in the building?
Do you have any glue? I just want to make sure we stick together.
I work for Tropicana. Would you like a job as my main squeeze?
I have to admit I’m a relic but you’d make a good historian dating me.
I only need 2 letters of the alphabet to describe you – QT.
They call me Ram because I need ewe in my life.
I hate consonants because I love it when U and I are together.
Usually I don’t drink caffeine but you’re a hot tea I can’t resist.
I’ve noticed that you’ve not told me your phone number, do you want to borrow mine?
I’m not a gambling man but I’ll bet on you being the queen of hearts.
I would say goodbye but I know I’ll be seeing you later in my dreams.
If you were a method of cooking you’d be one hot wonder.
I must be the Berlin wall because I fell for you a long time ago.
You look like an elevator shaft – flawless.
I know climate change is real because you are only getting hotter.
Did you invent the plane with your brother because I think you’re Mr Right.
My mind needs a pit stop for all the racing you’ve been doing in it.
Did you stop at the butchers on the way here because you are a hunk.
I feel like I’ve met you before, now I remember, it was in my dreams.
I’m going to be become a geologist because you rock my world.
I know what your favourite meal time is – pre tea.
When I saw you I gave up my job in the restaurant because I knew I didn’t need to wait any longer.
When God said he made man in his own image he wasn’t wrong with you.
My name’s [?] what’s your address?
Are you from Los Angeles because you look like an angel.
I would ask you where you’re from but I already know it’s heaven.
The only other thing I’ve noticed here apart from how good you look is jealousy.
Do you know a good optician because when I saw you I lost focus.
50 Bad Pick Up lines
You’re like a nice bath – hot and I want to be in you.
You’re like a paddling pool – cool and I want to be in you.
I hope you’re not vaccinated because I want to take your breath away.
Do you need a pacemaker because I’m your heart throb.
If you’re well endowed then I hope you can be long with me.
You know what you’d look good in? My bed.
Do you sell organs on the black market because you’ve stolen my heart.
I like my women like I like my drinks. Hot and full of sugar.
You can stop your prayers now, your answer’s here.
Hi, I’m the joker, when I see you I can’t stop smiling.
I think the best thing you could wear is me.
You remind me of my next girlfriend.
I’m the best thing you swiped right on since washing your car.
My lips are dry, could you help me out with yours.
They say for a good life you need wealth, health and happiness. I’m fit and rich so your name must be happiness.
Do you have a name or should we skip to Mrs [your name]?
Do you like roller coasters because I’m definitely down for a ride.
Are you haunting my room because I’ve definitely seen you in my bed.
I couldn’t find your phone number in the directory, what was it?
They didn’t break the mould when they made you, they just made it sexy.
How long are you visiting from heaven for?
What’s hot and sticky? Me if you’re lucky.
You and my phone are similar because you should both belong to me.
You remind me of my macbook. Reliable, expensive and you look great.
I didn’t know angels had vacations until I met you.
I can’t wait to tell my friends about this dream after I wake up.
I must be eating too much red meat because my heart just skipped a beat.
Hollywood called, they said they want the stars in your eyes back for the walk of fame.
Give me a second. I need to call the magic mirror and tell him he was wrong.
Your head looks tired, do you want to rest it on my shoulder?
I used to think other things were beautiful until today.
If you were a drink you’d be a bottle of fine.
Shall we save some time and book in a 2nd date now?
My name? It’s Mr Right.
I’m not a religious man but after meeting you I believe in a second coming.
If music be the food of love then I insist we go to a festival.
Are you an MRI scanner because your magnetism is strong.
I was always taught that perfect started with a p but now I see it starts and ends with u.
I’m not sure my DMs are working, can you send me a message and find out?
So what do you do? Apart from me later.
What’s your favourite type of spread? Mine’s you on my sofa.
When Bono wrote ‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’ he’d clearly not met you.
Are you allowed on the road with looks that distracting?
If your smile lights up any more then I’ll be asking to start my cigarette off it.
Your eyes sparkle more than a Christmas tree in a diamond store.
In the singles charts you’re my number 1.
I’m glad I’ve got GPS because I could get lost in those eyes.
Even if someone offered me $1million I’d still prefer your figure.
I’m not the jealous type but I’d make an exception for your mirror.
Call me Titanic because I’m here to break the ice.