If you’re looking for jokes to milk for all they’re worth, then these cow jokes will have your friends thinking you’re udderly hilarious. These gags have been cow-filly crafted to make you smile so whether you like farming, playing the field or just looking to entertain a herd of jokesters, the below list of cow jokes will have you milk-shaking with laughter!
73 Cow Jokes that are Udderly Hilarious
What is a cows favourite day of the week?
Where do cows go out for a date?
To the moo-vies
Why did the cow travel into space?
To visit the Milky Way
What do cows play in the band?
What did the cow say to the angry farmer?
Please calm down or else we’re going to have beef!
What do you call a female cow?
Why do bulls wear bells around their neck?
Because their horns don’t work
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How do cows like their coffee?
What do cows eat for breakfast?
What do you call a cow on a bouncing castle?
Why are cows so competitive?
Because the steaks are high
What do cows say on a date?
I am udderly in love with you
What do cows say when they’re stuck in traffic?
Moo-ve out of my way!
Why are male cows so mean?
Because they’re bull-ies
Why do cows make such great spies?
Because they’re great at steak-outs
How do you know a cow is having a bad day?
They’re in a burger
Why are calves so good at math?
They like cow-nting
What is a cows favourite drink?
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— 19th of 73 Cow Jokes
What do cows do when they’re hungover?
They moo-ch around
What did the cow say to the astronaut?
Take me to the moo-n!
How can you tell if a cow is a teenager?
They’re very moo-dy
How do you insult a bull?
Call him a cow-ard
What did one cow say to the other cow?
What did the cow tell the chef after his meal?
That was udderly delicious!
What did the cow say after her date?
Give me a bell if you want to see me again!
What is a cows favourite type of chocolate?
What do cows become at a comedy show?
A laughing stock
Where do you find a cow will a gambling addiction?
In the cow-sino
What do you call a dehydrated cow?
How do cows introduce themselves?
Nice to meat you
What do you get if you leave a cow in the sun?
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How do cows do their taxes?
Using a cow-culator
What do you call a cow on a diet?
How do cows like to share gossip?
Have you herd the news!?
What do you call a cow in jail?
An udder disgrace
What do you call a cow in hell?
— 37th of 73 Cow Jokes
Why should you never buy a pair of shoes for cows?
Because they lactose
How do you greet a cow at sunrise?
What do you call a Russian cow?
What do cows sing to each other from other the paddock?
Hello from the udder side!
Where do you buy a cow in Scotland?
Where do cows go when they’re feeling unwell?
What do you call a spontaneous cow?
How can you identify a gypsy cow?
They wear moo-d rings
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk!
What do you call a cow that can’t see?
Why are cows so funny?
Because they like being amooosed.
What do you call a cow laying down?
How do you know if a cow is strong?
They’ll have big moo-scles
Why do cows like aerobics?
They like moo-ving their moo-ales
What do you call a bull in church?
A holy cow
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What do steaks say to congratulate each other?
Where do cows go to view exhibitions?
Why do cows rob banks?
They love mooo-ney
What is a cows least favourite game to play?
Hide and seek
How do cows clean their apartments?
With a hoove-r
Why did the calf fail his test?
He made too many mis-steaks
What do you call a hot cow?
Why are cows such great drivers?
They’re good at steer-ing
What did the artist say to the cow?
You’re my moo-se
Where do unhappy cows live?
In a porterhouse
How do you know if a cow has had a lot of girlfriends?
He plays the field
What do you call a herd of cows in a field of pot?
— 64th of 73 Cow Jokes
What did the cow say to his nan?
Are you my dairy godmother?
How do cows make money?
They have to churn it
How do cows split the bill?
They calf it
What does the spontaneous bull say before jumping the gate?
It’s cow or never!
Why do cows make such bad band members?
They only play bells
What do cows wear while hunting?
How do farmers count their cows?
With a cow-culator
What do call Olympic winning cows?
What did the cow say during therapy?
I feel seen but not herd
How do you know if a cow is overexaggerating?
He’ll milk the story for all its worth
What do you name a fat cow?
What is a cows favourite cocktail?
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