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5 Very Best Campfire Conversation Starters
If you’re looking for jokes to milk for all they’re worth, then these cow jokes will have your friends thinking you’re udderly hilarious. These gags have been cow-filly crafted to make you smile so whether you like farming, playing the field or just looking to entertain a herd of jokesters, the below list of cow jokes will have you milk-shaking with laughter!
73 Cow Jokes that are Udderly Hilarious
What is a cows favourite day of the week?
Moo-nday
Where do cows go out for a date?
To the moo-vies
Why did the cow travel into space?
To visit the Milky Way
What do cows play in the band?
Moo-sical instruments
What did the cow say to the angry farmer?
Please calm down or else we’re going to have beef!
What do you call a female cow?
Patty!
Why do bulls wear bells around their neck?
Because their horns don’t work
Next: 83 Bird Puns that Won’t Fly Over Your Head
How do cows like their coffee?
Calf-finated
What do cows eat for breakfast?
Grass
What do you call a cow on a bouncing castle?
A milkshake
Why are cows so competitive?
Because the steaks are high
What do cows say on a date?
I am udderly in love with you
What do cows say when they’re stuck in traffic?
Moo-ve out of my way!
Why are male cows so mean?
Because they’re bull-ies
Why do cows make such great spies?
Because they’re great at steak-outs
How do you know a cow is having a bad day?
They’re in a burger
Why are calves so good at math?
They like cow-nting
What is a cows favourite drink?
Moo-nshine
Next: 80 Paw-Some Dog Puns that Will Have You Barking with Laughter
— 19th of 73 Cow Jokes
What do cows do when they’re hungover?
They moo-ch around
What did the cow say to the astronaut?
Take me to the moo-n!
How can you tell if a cow is a teenager?
They’re very moo-dy
How do you insult a bull?
Call him a cow-ard
What did one cow say to the other cow?
Get milked!
What did the cow tell the chef after his meal?
That was udderly delicious!
What did the cow say after her date?
Give me a bell if you want to see me again!
What is a cows favourite type of chocolate?
Milk
What do cows become at a comedy show?
A laughing stock
Where do you find a cow will a gambling addiction?
In the cow-sino
What do you call a dehydrated cow?
Beef jerky
How do cows introduce themselves?
Nice to meat you
What do you get if you leave a cow in the sun?
Spoiled milk
Next: 120 Fish Puns and Jokes that will Leave you Fishing for More!
How do cows do their taxes?
Using a cow-culator
What do you call a cow on a diet?
Lean beef
How do cows like to share gossip?
Have you herd the news!?
What do you call a cow in jail?
An udder disgrace
What do you call a cow in hell?
A de-moooon
— 37th of 73 Cow Jokes
Why should you never buy a pair of shoes for cows?
Because they lactose
How do you greet a cow at sunrise?
Good moooo-ning
What do you call a Russian cow?
Mos-cow
What do cows sing to each other from other the paddock?
Hello from the udder side!
Where do you buy a cow in Scotland?
Glas-cow
Where do cows go when they’re feeling unwell?
The farmacy
What do you call a spontaneous cow?
Impromt-moo
How can you identify a gypsy cow?
They wear moo-d rings
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk!
What do you call a cow that can’t see?
Ow.
Why are cows so funny?
Because they like being amooosed.
What do you call a cow laying down?
Ground beef
How do you know if a cow is strong?
They’ll have big moo-scles
Why do cows like aerobics?
They like moo-ving their moo-ales
What do you call a bull in church?
A holy cow
Next: 50 Beary Funny Bear Puns to Break the Ice
What do steaks say to congratulate each other?
Well done
Where do cows go to view exhibitions?
The moo-seum
Why do cows rob banks?
They love mooo-ney
What is a cows least favourite game to play?
Hide and seek
How do cows clean their apartments?
With a hoove-r
Why did the calf fail his test?
He made too many mis-steaks
What do you call a hot cow?
Medium rare
Why are cows such great drivers?
They’re good at steer-ing
What did the artist say to the cow?
You’re my moo-se
Where do unhappy cows live?
In a porterhouse
How do you know if a cow has had a lot of girlfriends?
He plays the field
What do you call a herd of cows in a field of pot?
High steaks
— 64th of 73 Cow Jokes
What did the cow say to his nan?
Are you my dairy godmother?
How do cows make money?
They have to churn it
How do cows split the bill?
They calf it
What does the spontaneous bull say before jumping the gate?
It’s cow or never!
Why do cows make such bad band members?
They only play bells
What do cows wear while hunting?
Cow-mouflage
How do farmers count their cows?
With a cow-culator
What do call Olympic winning cows?
Legen-dairy
What did the cow say during therapy?
I feel seen but not herd
How do you know if a cow is overexaggerating?
He’ll milk the story for all its worth
What do you name a fat cow?
Big Mac
What is a cows favourite cocktail?
A moo-jito!
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Lily is a freelance writer and media relations consultant from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not writing lifestyle, fintech, or beauty stories and media collateral, you can find her hanging out at her local restaurant or tending to her ever-growing plant collection.
