Within the past few years, “dad jokes” have become all the rage. They were deemed “dad jokes” as they seem to be told by older men in an attempt (emphasis on attempt) to make others laugh. A concoction of puns, rhymes, and a little bit of charm is necessary when telling a corny dad joke. So, if you’re a dad or soon-to-be dad, and want to join the “dad joke” club, I have written 50 corny dad jokes just for you. Study up and keep the dad joke tradition alive.
1. I only drink from the cup. I’ve had the final straw.
2. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese.
3. Do you know why the motorcycle wouldn’t go? Because it was two tired.
4. Why did the mom slam the fridge door? She saw the salad dressing.
5. What do pigs eat for Christmas dinner? Piggy pudding.
6. The needle was hungover. He took too many shots.
7. Who is the doctor’s favorite actor? Don Needle.
8. What did the excited thunderstorm say? That’s shocking!
9. Why did the hair stylist cry? She was dying.
10. What did the injured car salesman say? Ow! That Hertz.
11. The dentist just bought a new computer. It has a lot of mega-bites.
12. What do you call a royal cleaning lady? A maid of honor.
13. Why couldn’t the math teacher find all the numbers in the multiplication problem? He only found sum.
14. What did the fresh water fish say when he went to the ocean? I can’t sea.
15. What do you call the leader of the popcorn army? The colonel.
16. I eat breakfast every day. I’m a cereal killer.
17. What do you call an ugly ceramic artist? Hairy Potter.
18. Why did the window cry? It was in pane.
19. Why doesn’t the sun work at night? It needs a rays.
20. Why couldn’t the man go to the Catholic Church on Sunday? He was Sikh.
21. What’s a plumbers favorite vegetable? A leek.
22. Why was Scooby mad with Shaggy? He told him to get a clue.
23. What does a sick rock star eat? Halls and oats.
24. Why does the man always wear jeans to church? They’re holey.
25. When does a bakery give away free dough? When they don’t knead it.
26. What does a blind sailer say? Eye eye!
27. Why do steps never blink? They’re having a stairing contest.
28. I never mow the lawn. It’s a pain in the grass.
29. I lost my boyfriend and broke my arm on the same day. Now I have 2 x-rays.
30. I can tell the tree is a dogwood from its bark.
31. Why do Nigerians work in the night? Because dey don’t do it.
32. Why didn’t the European travel? He couldn’t Finnish.
33. Why do I always say yes? I don’t no.
34. Why did the boat go out when it wasn’t supposed to? Pier pressure.
35. When I opened my candy I saw LL Cool J. I guess I opened the wrong type of wrapper.
36. I wish I knew sign language. I think it’d be pretty handy
37. What’s a tradesman’s favorite fruit? A nice plumb.
38. There were rocks all over the road today! It was a miner inconvenience.
39. Who is the most important in an overweight kingdom? The fryer.
40. What does a minion sing on Christmas? All I Want For Christmas is Gru.
41. Do you want to drink my soda? I couldn’t dew it.
42. How does a plant count? One, two, tree.
43. Did you know Russians hate fast food? It’s too Greece-y.
44. What do you call a sick warrior? A Trojan hoarse.
45. There was a kidnapping today. But everything’s ok- he finally woke up.
46. Can you change my tire? Yeah, wheel do it
47. What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? An investigator.
48. What did the mad candle say? Blow me.
49. What do you say to a man on a horse that greets you? Get off your hi horse.
50. Why does a fisherman never share anything? Because he sell fish.