- HUMOR
30 Hilarious Out-of-Office Messages for Work
Many people will say that they do not like them, but deep down everyone likes to receive a somewhat daring message or laugh about a dirty joke well told, so I present the best 40 jokes for her, which will surely make her laugh.
Funny Dirty Jokes for Her
What Is It?
What is a long, wide thing that men carry hanging in front of it?
Tie.
What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married?
The wedding ring.
What is furry and peeking out of your pajamas at night?
Your head.
It goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet. What is it?
A bubblegum.
Hair on the top and hair on the bottom, in the middle a wet slit, what is it?
The eye.
Next: 120 (Or So) Dirty Jokes
What Did?
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me.
What did the leper say to the sex worker?
Keep the tip.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
Together, we can stop this crap.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What did the clitoris say to the vulva? It’s all good in the hood!
What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? It’s not what it looks like!
Suggested: 82 Dark Humor Jokes
Pick-Up Lines
Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty.
I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours
They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?
I lost my keys… can I check your pants?
Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.
I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
Next: 100 Dirty Pick Up Lines
Dirty Jokes
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Name something you can say during Game of Thrones and sex. The ending was disappointing.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Jokes In Double Meaning
“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
What’s The Difference
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
What’s the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Next: 56 What’s the Difference Between Jokes
What Do You Call
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam!
What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off!
What do you call a person who doesn’t masturbate? A liar.
