The 64 Very Best Animal Jokes

From furry little creatures to large frightening sharks, we love animals in all shapes and sizes.

Animals scare us, love us, and amaze us. But sometimes they even humour us.

Let’s take a look now at some of the funniest and craziest animal jokes and puns on the internet!

In this Article – Random Animal Jokes / Elephant Jokes / Shark Jokes / Giraffe Jokes / Turkey / Chicken / Cat / Duck / Dog / Dinosaur / Cow

Animal jokes

1- Why did the pony go to the doctor?

He was a little horse.

2- What does a cat eat before it’s main meal?

A Mouse-bouche.

3- What do you call a guy with ten pet rabbits?

Warren.

4- Why do rabbits like diamonds?

Because they are made of carats.

5- What grade did the chicken get in class?

Eggs-cellent.

6- Who does a cow call when they are moving house?

The Moo-vers.

7- What bird can’t hold their liquor?

A Toucan.

8- Why did the cat go to jail?

He commited a Feline-oney.

9- What cows make the best dancers?

The ones that can moo-n walk.

10- What reptile keeps watch of all other animals’ behaviour?

The Monitor Lizard.

11- What was the sheep sent to prison?

For being Baa-d.

12- Why did the fish go to the nightclub?

‘Cause they’re all about the Bass.

13- Why do pythons make the best plumbers?

Because they know how to snake a drain.

14- What kind of fish is the funniest?

A clown fish.

15- Why do camels hate Wednesdays?

Because it’s hump day.

16- What San Francisco food do cats love to eat?

Mice-a-roni.

17- What kind of fish sits around all day and does nothing?

A stone-d fish.

18- What do you call a very large mouse?

A hippopota-mouse.

19- Why did the rhinoceros go to the doctor?

He needed to get Rhinoplasty.

20- Why didn’t the labrador go to the party?

He was in the dog house.

21- What whales make the best violinists?

A Bowhead Whale.

22- What do pandas and penguins have in common?

They both love black and white movies.

More Jokes from the Animal Kingdom

Elephant jokes

1- Where is an elephant’s favorite place to visit in italy?

Tusk-any.

2- Why didn’t the elephant go to the party?

He was tired of always being the elephant in the room.

3- Why didn’t the elephants use a daily planner?

Because an elephant never forgets.

4- How did the elephant get to Europe?

He took a jumbo jet.

5- Why do elephants make the best movers?

Because they have a lot of trunk space.

Shark jokes

1- Why wasn’t the great white invited to the card game?
Because he was a card shark.

2- Why did the shark stand up from the table?
Because he was Fin-ished.

3- What happened to the shark that was kicked out of the ocean?
He became a Land Shark.

4- Why didn’t the shark go to the tailor?
He was afraid of becoming a sharkskin suit.

5- What is a shark’s favorite country?
Fin-Land.

Giraffe jokes

1- Why did the giraffe win an award?

For being head and shoulders above the competition.

2- Why didn’t the Giraffe report the crime to the police?

He didn’t want to stick his neck out.

3- What do you call the king of giraffes?

His Highness.

4- Why do people dislike giraffes as customers?

They are always putting in a tall order.

5- How does a giraffe cross the river?

They use a gir-raft.

Turkey Jokes

1. What do you call a running turkey?

Fast food!

2. Why did turkey say no to dessert?

He said he was already stuffed.

3. Why movies played by turkey are restricted?

Because of their fowl language.

More Turkey Jokes Here

Chicken Jokes

1. Why don’t chickens like people?

They beat eggs.

2. What do poetic chickens enjoy?

Spoken word poultry.

3. Why did the rooster go to KFC?

He wanted to see the chicken strip

4. Why didn’t the chicken go to KFC?

It wasn’t on her bucket list.

More Chicken Jokes here

Cat Jokes

1. What did the mother cat say to her children?

Stop kitten-ing around.

2. Why did the cat go to jail?

He commited a Feline-oney.

3. Who gives presents to good cats at Christmas?

Santa Claws.

4. What San Francisco food do cats love to eat?

Mice-a-roni.

More Cat Jokes here

Duck Jokes

1. What snacks do ducks like to eat with their cheese?

Quackers!

2. There were no more clients for the duck doctor.

Everyone knew he was a quack!

3. What was the secret agent duck named?

James Pond!

More Duck Jokes here

Dog Jokes

1. Why did the dog go to yoga?

To work on his pawsture.

2. How did the dog get onto a plane?

From an airpawt.

3. How does the dog motivate his pack?

He gives them a pup talk. 

More Dog Jokes here

Dinosaur Jokes

1. What do you call a gigantoraptor that won’t stop talking?

A dino-bore.

2. How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea,Rex?

3. What do you call a polite Dinosaur?

A pleaseyosaur.

More Dinosaur Jokes here

Cow Jokes

1. Why did the cow travel into space?

To visit the Milky Way

2. How do cows like their coffee?

Calf-finated

3. What do you call a cow on a bouncing castle?

A milkshake

More Cow Jokes here.