The 100 Very Best Jokes for Kids

Jokes for Kids — You’re never too young to start making your family groan at your jokes. 

It almost happens overnight.

Your little ones go from staring at you blankly each time you tell them a joke to laughing out loud in amazement. Next thing they’ll be telling you a new joke every day.

My message to you is, don’t discourage them! Who knows, you might be the parent of the next Jerry Seinfeld. Probably not, but there’s no harm in waiting and seeing.

In the meanwhile, here are 100 of the best, corniest, kid-friendly jokes on the internet.

Share them with your little ones when they reach that special joke-telling age.

And if they get to the stage when they hear kids jokes like these and just groan, congratulations! Their sense of humor is maturing.

Until that point comes, let them have a laugh at these…

100 Funny Jokes for Kids to Keep Your Kids in Stitches 

How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
By building a sty-scraper.

What do clouds wear under their clothes?
Thunderwear.

Why was the skeleton lonely?
He had no body to play with.

What does a Triceratops sit on?
His tricera-bottom.

Where do cows go on a Friday night?
To the mooooovies.

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.

What is a snake’s favorite school subject?
Hisssstory.

Why does everyone love snowmen?
They’re cool.

What do you call an old snowman?
Water

What do you get if you treat a cow too well?
Spoiled milk.

Why did the man throw his clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.

Which piece of equipment is the boss of the classroom?
The ruler.

What do you get if you cross a tree with an apple?
A pineapple.

How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.

Why can’t you give Elsa from Frozen a balloon?
She will Let it Go.

What musical instrument do you find in a bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools.

Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

What do buffalos say to their boys when they go away on business?
Bison!

What did the one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.

What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open, it’s a trick!

How do you make an octopus laugh? 
With ten tickles.

Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Their feet smell.

How much do chimneys cost?
Nothing, they’re on the house.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.

What do you all a duck that cracks jokes?
A wise quacker.

What did the one porcupine say to the other porcupine while they were kissing?
Ouch.

How do you throw a spaceman a party?
You planet.

Jokes for Kids: Part 2

Why is it windy inside a stadium?
There are thousands of fans.

What falls in winter but can’t get hurt?
Snow.

Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
Because after you’ve found it, you stop looking.

Which is the wettest letter in the alphabet?
The ‘C’.

What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa pause.

What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador.

What did the policeman say to his belly?
You’re under a vest.

Man: Waiter, what’s on the menu?
Waiter: It’s bean soup.
Man: I don’t care what it’s been, what is it now?

How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.

What did the snail say when he was riding the turtle’s back?
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Where do you find elephants?
In the same place you left them.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase and you load up the car!

Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Her mom and dad were in a jam.

Why did the teacher write on the window?
He wanted his lessons to be clear.

What room has no doors?
A mushroom.

What do you get when you put a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.

What animal never misses a baseball game?
The bat.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.

How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the ‘w’.

What music do mummies listen to?
Wrap.

What do elves learn in school?
The elfabet.

What’s the coldest month.
Decembrrrrrr.

What do you call a fly without wings?
A crawl.

Why are pirates called pirates?
They just ARRRRRRR.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.

What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.

Why is a fish easy to weigh?
It has its own scales.

What’s a cat’s favorite colour?
Purrrrrple.

Jokes for Kids: Part 3

Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.

Why did the dog do so well at school?
He was the teacher’s pet.

Where do sheep get a drink?
At the baaaaaaaaaaa.

Where do sharks go on holiday?
Finland.

How do oceans say hello to each other?
They wave.

Why was the broom late for school?
It overswept.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.

Why don’t lions like eating clowns?
They taste funny.

What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!

What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
You have a good point.

What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
Looking sharp!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

How do you stop a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit card.

Where does the queen keep her armies?
Up her sleevies.

What’s a cow’s favorite night of the year?
Moo year’s eve.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

What building has the most stories?
The library.

What’s the most delicious snake?
A pie-thon.

What kind of pics do turtles take?
Shell-fies.

What is black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.

How do fish get to school?
On the octo-bus.

What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain.

What kind of candy is never on time?
ChocoLATE.

Why couldn’t the pony get up and sing?
She was a little horse.

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you.

Why didn’t the dog want to play football, tennis or golf?
It was a boxer.

Why don’t eggs tell jokes.
They are worried they’ll crack up.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy you trying not to laugh at my knock knock jokes.

Why didn’t the teddy bear eat pudding?
He was already stuffed.

Why was the baby ant confused?
All his uncles were ants.