1. Why did the ammonia order a pumpkin spice latte? Because it’s basic.
2. I’m sorry I’m late! I was reading a book on helium and I just could not put it down.
3. I wanted to make a gas joke but all the good ones Argon.
4. The chem lab professor is just delivered a truckload of supplies. Frustrated, he says “What am I supposed to do with all this NaOH powder and water?” His lab assistant says, “Well sir it’s a basic solution you see.”
5. Why do chemists love club music? They love when the base drops.
6. What do you call a 2000 pound chemistry professor who’s always smiling? A pro-ton
7. Don’t fall around your lab partner 3 times or they’ll call you a Trip-licate.
8. Would you like to be my lab partner? I can tell there will be a lot of chemistry between us.
9. A neutron opened a bar and it quickly went bankrupt because he didn’t charge.
10. I just told a joke to two noble gases, but I didn’t get much of a reaction.
11. An ice cube was having an identity crisis. When his friend asked what was the matter, he started to cry harder.
12. What’s Superman’s favorite element? Krypton.
13. An enzyme and a substrate are best friends because they fit together so well.
14. Angry Boss: Why are you not in the lab?!
Chemist: *laying in a meadow* I’m doing fieldwork
15. The nucleus split itself loudly and his friends knew he was just fission for drama.
16. Studying chemistry can be so Boron.
17. Watson: How did we know the murder’s weapon was made of iron?
Sherlock: It’s elemental, my dear Watson.
18. What is the element iron’s favorite movie? Ferrous Bueller’s Day Off
19. At the party, Carbon, Hydrogen, and Oxygen dressed too formyl for the o-cation.
20. The entire lab smelled like rotten eggs. Everyone was sulfering.
21. Santa fell through a chimney filled with balloons. They must have been filled with helium. Now all he is says is “He, He, He!”
22. The sand was suspended from school. Their grades were really sinking.
23. Two pirates with bronze gold teeth greeted each other. “Alloy there matey”
24. When fog evaporates, it is easily missed. (mist)
25. Inventor: What could we make cans out of?
Inventor 2: I don’t know but we will think of some tin.
26. I love studying atoms but I wouldn’t want to Bohr you with the details.
27. The steel’s background check had a stainless record.
28. Water in the freezer: I’ve MELTED
Ice Cube: Dude, just chill. Give it time.
29. What do you call a professional adolescent bodybuilder? A pro-teen
30. What do you call a professional adolescent bodybuilder who dances? A pro-teen shake