Every Rick and Morty fan knows how the series has changed the game for animated adult comedies. While shows like Family Guy and American Dad are often funny and cutting with their satire, Rick and Morty exists on a different plane altogether. A sci-fi about an alcoholic scientist traversing the multiverse with his idiot grandson has no right to be this prescient.
There is great debate among the fandom over whether an episodic or serialized format produces better content. However, there is no doubt that it generates a blend of both hilarious moments and dark, nihilistic truisms.
After five full seasons of Rick and Morty, there are endless ingenious quotes to choose from. Deciding which quotes are the best is a fool’s game, but if nothing we do matters, we may as well give it a go!
Rick and Morty Quotes
that will make you laugh and cry – at the same time!
1. Morty: Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?
2. Beth: Honey, stop raising your father’s cholesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie.
3. Summer: You’re the little brother. You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery, you’re just a symptom of it.
4. Morty: Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it’s together. [Pause] And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. [Pause] Get your shit together.
5. Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.
6. Rick: You gotta do it for Grandpa, Morty. You gotta put these seeds inside your butt.
7. Interdimensional Cable: First, they take the dinglebop, and they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem… They take the dinglebop and they push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It’s important that the fleeb is rubbed, because the fleeb has all of the fleeb juice. Then a schlami shows up, and he rubs it and… spits on it. They cut the fleeb. There’s several hizzards in the way. The blamfs rub against the chumbles. And the ploobis and grumbo are shaved away. That leaves you with a regular old plumbus.
8. Rick: Don’t move. Gonorrhea can’t see us if we don’t move…Wait! I was wrong! I was thinking of a T-rex.
9. Summer: So what if he’s the Devil, Rick? At least the Devil has a job. At least he’s active in the community.
10. Rick: Yeah sure, I mean if you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty.
11. Jerry: Traditionally, science fairs are a father-son thing.
Rick: Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing.
12. Morty: So time moves faster in there? It’s like a Narnia thing?
Rick: I’m not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty…but yeah it’s pretty much a Narnia thing.
13. Rick: If I die in a cage, I lose a bet.
14. Summer: Unity, I’m sorry. I didn’t know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a ‘choose your own cellphone carrier’ thing.
15. Evil Morty: This seems like a good time for a drink and a cold calculated speech with sinister overtones, a speech about politics, about order, brotherhood, power. But speeches are for campaigning. Now is the time for action.
16. Mr. Nimbus: Say goodbye to your precious dry land, for soon it will be wet! WET!
Rick: Yeah, global warming’s already doing that, asshole!
17. Rick to Summer: But I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism just to destroy one dumb relationship.
18. Memory of Young Rick: You’re one of those creeps who moves in with abandoned adult Beths.
Rick: It’s more complicated than that.
Memory of Young Rick: You live with a version of our dead daughter. It better be.
19. Rick: Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum transport solution?
Morty: I-I saw you were marking the levels so I had to top it off…
Rick: Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?
20. Rick: You’re down here bailing on the rest of us because you don’t want to process your grief and shame like a normal person, by drinking and mistreating others!
21. Summer: Fuck Gene, fuck the homeless, your kids and their grandpa are asking you to do an activity with them. When did that stop being a parent’s wettest dream?
22. Summer: Oh my god we made a giant incest baby, oh my god you might be a clone, I exist because you guys failed to abort me. We get the family we get, not the one we what, and if you want to keep the one you got, get your asses into space.
23. Rick: Off-grid, Morty. We’re gonna live in the woods like libertarians. We’ll hunt rabbits and trade with like little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.
24. Vice-President: [after the President has been replaced by a turkey promising unlimited funds to Congress] All in favor of Turkey President?
[majority of Congress raises their hands]
25. Beth: Honey, our daughter ran off with a frisbee golfer because of some app with a really dumb, really forgettable name… like a really dumb, uncreative, super sweaty name. Anyway, I’ll be late, I love you.
26. Rick: Before what you’re trying to do was called negging, it was called reverse psychology, and incels didn’t invent it, Bugs Bunny did.
27. Morty: All right, let’s just do this. I have English homework.
Rick: You’re still learning English? It’s the language you speak. How dumb are you?
28. Morty: You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you? That’s slavery.
Rick: It’s society. They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other. They buy houses. They get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power.
Morty: That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
Rick: Ooh-la-la, someone’s gonna get laid in college.
29. Dr. Wong: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse, and I think it’s because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it’s your mind, within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk, to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces, your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass, because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is; it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just work, and the bottom line is some people are okay going to work, and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.
30. Rick: Weddings are basically just funerals with cake. If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away, I’d hang out with Jerry all day.
31. Rick: Listen, I’m not the nicest guy in the universe, because I’m the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.
32. Post-apocalyptic Warrior: [crawling on ground, gurgling] Kill me, please…
Summer: O.K., but not because you told me to.
33. Rick: Sum-sum! Let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting!
34. Mr Meeseeks: Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.
35. Snuffles/Snowball: Snuffles was my slave name. You shall now call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white.
36. Snuffles/Snowball: Tell me, Summer, if a human was born with stumpy legs, would they breed it with another deformed human and put their children on display like the Dachshund?
37. Mr. Needful: This aftershave makes a man quite irresistible to women. Free of charge. One never pays here. Not with money.
Mr. Goldenfold: Nothing to read into there. Thanks!
38. Poncho: Hey, gonorrhoea! How’s this for a burning sensation?
39. Alternate Rick: Earth Rick C-1-37, the council of Ricks sentences you to The Machine of Unspeakable Doom. Which will swap your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you’ve known becomes impossible to grasp. Also, every 10 seconds it stabs your balls.
40. Crocubot: I am Crocubot.
Rick: Ha ha, right, Crocubot. So you’re half cold, unfeeling reptile; half also cold, equally unfeeling machine.
Rick: Wow, so your origin is what, you fell into a vat of redundancy?
41. Rick: So I have an emo streak. It’s part of what makes me so rad.
42. Beth: He’s not a hot girl. He can’t just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else’s.
43. Summer: We’re miserable Morty! There’s a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, and they’ve weaponized the Eiffel tower!
44. Rick: If I let you make me nervous, then we can’t get schwifty.
45. Rick: Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! (translation: I am in great pain, please help me)
46. Rick: I’m sorry, but your opinion means very little to me.