154 Really Funny Riddles

A really funny riddle is a clever question, poem or phrase that contains a humorous hidden double meaning. This extremely popular joke format dates back to well over 4,000 years ago, yet it remains a reliable source of laughs to this day. In this funny riddles list, you can take your pick from riddles that date back all the way from ancient Greece, right the way through to Harry Potter. But regardless of whether you choose a classic maths conundrum or a tricky historical rhyme, these riddles will challenge and cheer up just about any audience. So, start practising and get ready for some great reactions!

 

Funny Riddles — Classic Joke Riddles

1. What is black and white, but red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

 

2. What is that which belongs to you But others use it more than you do?

Answer: Your name.

 

3. What goes up, but never comes down?

Answer: Your age.

 

4. If you don’t keep this then it will break. What is it?

Answer: A promise.

 

5. What are the two things that you can never have for your breakfast?

Answer: Lunch and dinner.

 

6. What is the only word that gets shorter when you add two letters to it?

Answer: The word short.

 

7. What has loads of keys, but can’t open a door?

Answer: A piano.

 

8. What do you get wet after it dries?

Answer: A towel.

 

9. Where in the world can you find Friday before Thursday?

Answer: In a dictionary.

 

10. What travels all over the world but always stays in the same spot?

Answer: A stamp.

 

11. Two fathers and two sons sit down for dinner. They eat exactly three pieces of bread, yet they all had a slice each. How?

Answer: One father is a grandfather.

 

12. What is the world’s laziest mountain?

Answer: Ever-rest.

 

13. What can hold water but is full of holes?

Answer: A sponge.

 

14. What question can you never say yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

 

15. What question can you never say no to?

Answer: Are you dead?

 

16. What is in seasons, seconds, centuries, and minutes, but not in decades, years, or days?

Answer: The letter N.

 

17. What has a neck but no head?

Answer: A bottle.

 

18. What has a head but no neck?

Answer: A guitar.

 

19. he root tops the trunk on this backward thing, that grows in the winter and dies in the spring. What can it be?

Answer: An icicle.

 

20. Iron roof, glass walls. Burns and burns but never falls. What is it?

Answer: A lantern.

 

21. What type of ship has two mates, but no official captain?

Answer: A relationship.

 

22. When everything goes wrong, what can you always count on?

Answer: Your fingers.

 

23. What has a ring, but no fingers?

Answer: Your phone.

 

24. I look at you, you look at me I raise my right, you raise your left. What is this?

Answer: A mirror.

 

25. The more of me that you take, the more you will have left behind. What am I?

Answer: Footsteps.

 

26. What can you catch but never throw?

Answer: A cold.

 

27. I have colourful streets, but no pavement. I have big cities, but no buildings. I have wide forests, yet no trees. I have long rivers, yet no water. What am I?

Answer: A map.

 

28. What is the only word in the dictionary that is spelt incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly.

 

29. I follow you and copy your every move, but you can’t touch me. What am I?

Answer: Your shadow.

 

30. You can’t keep me until you have already given me. What am I?

Answer: Your word.

 

31. What part of the road do ghosts most love to travel?

Answer: Dead ends.

 

32. Why can’t a pirate ever finish reciting the alphabet?

Answer: He always gets lost at C.

 

33. Which building in town has the most stories?

Answer: The library.

 

34. If two snakes get married, what would their towels say?

Answer: Hiss and hers.

 

35. I have a head and feet like a dog, but I am not a dog. What am I?

Answer: A puppy.

 

36. What begins with E and only has one letter?

Answer: An envelope.

 

37. Walk on the living, they don’t even mumble. Walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble. What are they?

Answer: Leaves.

 

38. Look at me and I can bring a smile to your face, a tear to your eye, or even a thought to your mind. But, I can’t be seen. What am I?

Answer: Memories.

 

39. What runs up and down the stairs without moving?

Answer: The carpet.

 

40. What falls often but never gets hurt?

Answer: Snow, sleet and rain.

 

41. What type of coat is wet when you put it on for the first time?

Answer: A coat of paint.

 

42. Which letter in the alphabet has the most water?

Answer: The letter C.

 

43. I am always hungry and will die if not fed, but whatever I touch will soon turn red. What am I?

Answer: Fire.

 

44. Only one colour, but not one size, stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain, doing no harm, and feeling no pain. What is it?

Answer: Your shadow.

 

45. What English word has the exact same sound, even after you take away four of its five letters?

Answer: Queue.

 

46. I have branches, yet I have no leaves, no trunk, and no fruit. What am I? Answer: The bank.

 

Funny Riddles on Food

47. You need me for dinner, but you can’t eat me. What am I?

Answer: Cutlery.

 

48. What do you have to break before you can use it?

Answer: An egg.

 

49. What are the most fun vegetables at a party?

Answer: Fungis.

 

50. What do you call a cat who loves to swim?

Answer: A catfish.

 

51. Who is the father of all fruits?

Answer: A papa-ya.

 

52. I love to be fed, but water kills me. What am I?

Answer: Fire.

 

53. I’m a fruit, person and a bird. Who am I?

Answer: A Kiwi.

 

54. Why did the citrus tree go to the hospital?

Answer: Lemon-aid.

 

55. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Answer: It put on the salsa.

 

56. What runs on cue, but never gets tired?

Answer: A tap.

 

57. If I am ripe I’m green, if you eat me I’m pink and when you spit me out I am black. What am I?

Answer: A watermelon.

 

58. How many eggs can a rooster lay over a year?

Answer: None – roosters don’t lay eggs.

 

59. What is made from ears, but cannot hear you when you speak, no matter how loud?

Answer: Corn.

 

60. What do you call a chihuahua in the summer?

Answer: A hot dog.

 

61. What did the duck put in its soup?

Answer: Quackers.

 

62. What is the saddest of all of the fruits?

Answer: A blueberry.

 

63. Why did Snap, Crackle and Pop get scared?

Answer: They heard there was a cereal killer on the loose.

 

64. Why is Europe like a frying pan?

Answer: Greece is at the bottom.

 

65. How do you drop an egg from a height onto concrete without cracking it?

Answer: Concrete floors are too strong to be cracked by eggs.

 

66. I’m always running, but I never get hot or tired. What am I?

Answer: The freezer.

 

Funny Riddles on Maths

67. I am an odd number, but take away a letter and I am even.

What am I? Answer: Seven.

 

68. How many months of the year have 28 days?

Answer: All 12.

 

69. What number always goes up, but never down?

Answer: Your age.

 

70. If two is company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?

Answer: Nine.

 

71. What weighs more a pound of chocolate, or a pound of iron?

Answer: They weigh the same – a pound.

 

72. What is the maximum number you can minus 5 from 25?

Answer: Only once because after you have taken 5 from 25 it becomes 20.

 

73. If I have six apples and you take away five of them, how many do you have?

Answer: Five.

 

74. What did one maths book say to the other?

Answer: Do you want to hear my problems?

 

75. Forward I am heavy, but backwards I am not. What am I?

Answer: The word ton.

 

76. What has 13 hearts as all of its organs?

Answer: A deck of playing cards.

 

77. What is dirty when white?

Answer: A blackboard.

 

78. How much dirt is in a hole that measures 3 ft x 4 ft x 6 ft?

Answer: None it is a hole.

 

79. I am short when I am old, but tall when I am young. What am I?

Answer: A pencil.

 

80. Why is maths class always so long?

Answer: The teachers go off on tangents.

 

81. Mr and Mrs Bouteille have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Bouteille family?

Answer: There are nine – Mr and Mrs Bouteille, their six daughters and one son.

 

82. What is a weighty currency in today’s market?

Answer: A pound.

 

83. Turn me on my side and I am infinity, but cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?

Answer: The number 8.

 

84. How many sides are there to a circle?

Answer: Two – inside and outside.

 

85. How do you add five to nine and get two?

Answer: Using hours. When it is 9am and you add five hours, you get 2pm.

 

86. How many bricks will it take to complete a building made of brick?

Answer: One – it is just made of a single brick.

 

87. Your friend’s friend sadly dies of old age on his 25th birthday – how did this naturally occur?

Answer: He was born on 29th April.

 

88. When my auntie was 31 I was 8, but now she is twice my age! How old am I?

Answer: 23.

 

Hilarious Historical Riddles

89. This is the world’s oldest funny riddle –

‘A house based on a foundation like the skies. A house one has covered with a veil like a secret box. A house set on a base like a goose. One enters it blind but leaves it seeing. What is it?’

Answer: The school.

 

90. Here’s Samson’s trick riddle from ‘The Bible’ –

‘Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet.’

Answer: “Bees making honeycomb inside the carcass of a lion.” You’d never guess the answer, because Samson made it up!

 

91. Famous Greek philosopher Sophocles’ ‘Oedipus Rex’ Sphinx’s Riddle reads –

‘What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening?’

Answer: A man – he crawls as a baby, walks as an adult and has a walking stick when old.

 

92. The 17th Century St Ives nursery rhyming riddle runs –

‘As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Each wife had seven sacks,
Each sack had seven cats,
Each cat had seven kits:
Kits, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were there going to St. Ives?’

Answer: Just the one.

 

93. Alice’s famous riddle from Lewis Caroll’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ goes –

‘Why is a raven like a writing desk?’

Answer: Technically, nobody knows. The book is full of silly nonsense and this riddle is no exception – sorry!

 

94. Bilbo Baggins’ riddle from ‘The Hobbit’ runs –

‘This thing all things devours; Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel; Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town, And beats mountain down.’

Answer: Time.

 

95. Another classic riddle from The Hobbit for you –

Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters.

Answer: The wind.

 

96. The ‘Harry Potter’ Triwizard Tournament competition riddle’s final round riddle goes –

‘First think of the person who lives in disguise, Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies. Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend, The middle of middle and end of the end? And finally give me the sound often heard During the search for a hard-to-find word. Now string them together, and answer me this, Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?’

Answer: A spider.

 

Funny Folklore Riddles of Olde

97. My tines are long. My tines are short. My tines end ere. My first report. What am I?

Answer: Lightening.

 

98. The rich men want it, the wise men know it, the poor all need it, the kind men show it. Can you guess this one?

Answer: It is love.

 

99. As I walked along the path I saw something with four fingers and one thumb, but it was not flesh, fish, bone or fowl. What am I?

Answer: A glove.

 

100. A precious stone, as clear as diamond. Seek it out whilst the sun’s near the horizon. Though you can walk on water with its power, Try to keep it, and it’ll vanish within an hour. What am I?

Answer: Ice.

 

101. I have three syllables. Take away five letters, a male will remain. Take away four letters, a female will remain. Take away three letters, a great man will appear. The entire word shows you what Joan of Arc was. What is it?

Answer: Heroine.

 

102. I love to move around, But usually not on the ground. I’m quite strung out when way up high. I like to sail, but I need to stay dry. I need air, but not to breathe. A helpful hand is all I need. What am I?

Answer: A kite.

 

103. I soar without wings, I see without eyes. I’ve traveled the universe to and fro. I’ve conquered the world, yet I’ve never been anywhere but home. Who am I?

Answer: The sky.

 

104. The sun bakes them, The hand breaks them, The foot treads on them, And the mouth tastes them. What are they?

Answer: Grapes.

 

105. I work when I play and play when I work. What am I?

Answer: A musician.

 

106. A prisoner is told: ‘If you tell a lie we will hang you, if you tell the truth we will behead you.’ What can he say to save himself?’

Answer: Nothing.

 

107. I’m not really more than holes tied to more holes. I’m strong as good steel, though not as stiff as a pole. What am I?

Answer: A chain.

 

Teaser Riddles

108. Nobody has ever in history walked this way. Which way is it?

Answer: The Milky Way.

 

109. You are my brother, but I am not your brother. Who am I?

Answer: Your sister.

 

110. What is there one of in every corner and two of in every room?

Answer: The letter O.

 

111. What has ten letters and starts with gas?

Answer: An automobile.

 

112. What binds two individuals, but only touches one of them at a time?

Answer: A wedding ring.

 

113. What bird do you associate with lifting weight?

Answer: The crane.

 

114. Spelled forwards I’m what you do every day, spelled backward I’m something you hate. What am I?

Answer: Live / Evil.

 

115. You walk into a room containing a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. What would you light first?

Answer: The match.

 

116. What runs, but never walks. Murmurs, but never talks. Has a bed, but never sleeps. And has a mouth, but never eats?

Answer: A river.

 

117. What has hands but cannot clap?

Answer: A clock.

 

118. What is it that given one, you’ll have either two or none?

Answer: A choice.

 

119. I have words, but I never speak them. What am I?

Answer: A book.

 

120. You get two in one corner, one in a room and zero in a house, but one in a shelter. What am I?

Answer: The letter R.

 

121. No matter how little or how much you use me, you have to change me every single month. What am I?

Answer: A calendar.

 

122. I have a head and tail, but no body. What am I?

Answer: A coin.

123. The more there is, the less you see. What am I?

Answer: The darkness.

124. If your uncle’s sister is not your aunt, how is she related to you?

Answer: She is your mother.

 

125. The 22nd and 24th presidents of the United States of America both had the same parents, but they were not brothers. How can this be possible?

Answer: They were the same man at different times – Grover Cleveland.

 

126. Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown. What am I?

Answer: Time.

 

127. What floods a room, but doesn’t take up any space?

Answer: Time.

128. What tastes better than it could ever possibly smell?

Answer: Your tongue.

129. What runs around your whole garden without ever moving?

Answer: Your fence. 130. What flowers are the most kissable? Answer: Tulips.

 

Funny Riddles on Animals

131. I’m an animal you might love, but I’m too big to be your pet. I have an extremely long trunk, and it’s said I never forget. What am I?

Answer: An elephant.

 

132. What is just as big as any elephant, but doesn’t weigh a thing?

Answer: An elephant’s shadow.

 

133. The alphabet goes from A to Z but I go Z to A. What am I?

Answer: A zebra.

 

134. I have horns but I can’t beep. I like to bleat but I’m not a sheep. What am I? Answer: A goat. 135. What has four feet and peels like an onion, but is still whole?

Answer: A lizard.

136. What grows down while it grows up?

Answer: A goose.

 

137. A woman has lost her much loved cat, but sees it on the other side of a river bank. The cat miraculously finds a way to return to her without getting wet at all. How did the clever cat do it?

Answer: The river was frozen.

 

138. I exist at the head of an elephant as well as the tail of a squirrel. What am I?

Answer: The letters ‘el’.

 

139. How can you spell cow in 13 letters?

Answer: ‘See-o-double-you’

 

140. What wears a coat in the winter and pants in the summer?

Answer: A dog.

 

141. I like to hop around. I’m a tadpole when I’m young. I am green and I croak. And catch flies with my long tongue. What am I?

Answer: A frog.

 

142. Why can my cat jump five feet high, but not get through my three foot window?

Answer: It’s closed.

 

143. He is tiny but can climb a tower; he is hardly even visible yet he can easily carry three times his body weight. What is he?

Answer: An ant.

 

144. I am named after the very animal that I eat. What am I?

Answer: An anteater.

145. With four oars it swims but it is always at home. Its back is like armor, tougher than chrome.

What is it?

Answer: A turtle.

 

146. I am a majestic king, but I have no a crown. Who am I?

Answer: A lion.

 

147. I am the strangest creature that you’ll ever find – I have two eyes in front and many more behind. What am I?

Answer: A peacock.

 

148. What upside down creature jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?

Answer: A kangaroo.

 

149. I sleep by day, I fly by night, I sleep upside down. What am I?

Answer: A bat.

 

150. Frankie the dog was wearing a hefty two foot chain leash. He sees a squirrel and wants nothing more than to chase after it. Lucky for Frankie he was still able to catch the squirrel. How did he accomplish this?

Answer: Frankie’s leash wasn’t attached to anything.

Victoria McNaught-Davis
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