55 Father’s Day Jokes

Why not give the gift of laughter this fathers day? We all know that whenever you’re feeling glum, your dad will be on hand to cheer you up with an eye-rolling pun or a real groaner of a joke. If your dad is a fan of silly jokes here are 55 of them to brighten up his fathers day. You could choose your favorite to write in his card, or learn all fifty to make it a day of pun fun!

 

55 Funny Father’s Day Jokes 2022

 

  • What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi

 

  • Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Don
    Don who?
    Don’t you recognize your own father?

 

  • What nut makes a great partition? A wall nut.

 

  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick. 

 

  • What do seals use to keep their fur straight? A sea-lion (seal iron)

 

  • What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it just waved.

 

  • I asked my dad about my inheritance. He showed me a stack of unpaid bills and said, “one day, son, all this will be yours.”

 

  • My dad told me I looked just like him when he was younger. I said, “wow, what happened?” and he said, “you.”

 

  • Why does it smell at the beach? ‘Cos the seaweed.

 

  • I asked my dad what we were having for dinner, and he said, “whatever you’re making”…it wouldn’t have been so bad, but I was on the toilet at the time. 

 

  • Dad said I must have been born upside down because my nose runs and my feet smell.

 

  • My dad said he wanted wine for fathers day. Next year we’re just getting him a card cos me and my sister have been whining all day, and he didn’t appreciate it. 

 

  • Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Kent
    Kent who?
    Kent you just open the door and see for yourself?

 

  • My dad is making his famous stir-fry surprise for dinner. The surprise is he gets it delivered.

 

  • I was doing my geography homework, and I asked my dad, “Where are the Andes?” and he said, “At the end of your armies.” 

 

  • What do you call a man wearing a paper suit? Russel. 

 

  • A man walks into the doctor’s office with a frog on his head. The doctor says, “what seems to be the problem?” and the frog says, “I woke up this morning with this growth on my butt!”

 

  • My dad went to the doctor because he felt like a pair of curtains. The doctor told him to pull himself together. 

 

  • My dad was pulled over by the cops for speeding. The cop asked, “do you know how fast you were going?” and my dad said, “slower than you.”

 

  • My dad loves going to the gym. The café there does the best Frappuccino’s.

 

  • I asked my dad if he wanted an orange, but he said it didn’t sound appealing.

 

  • Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Harry
    Harry who?
    Harry up and open the door; it’s freezing out here.

 

  • What type of spoon is the most dangerous? A salt spoon.

 

  • My dog’s really ill, I asked him how he felt, and he said, “Ruff.”

 

  • What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

 

  • What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no idea.

 

  • What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no head? Dead.

 

  • How many ears did cowboys have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the frontier. 

 

  • Dad: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
    Son: Rrrrrrrr?
    Dad: No, the C!

 

  • Why shouldn’t you gossip on a farm? Cos, the corn has ears.

 

  • What kind of tree has branches but no leaves? A family tree.

 

  • What kind of food is the most musical? Pop corn.

 

  • Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    La Hoop
    La Hoop who?
    It’s pronounced “hula-hoop.” 

 

  • Dad: Help, my dog has got no nose!
    Vet: How does he smell?
    Dad: Awful.

 

  • An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and the barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

 

  • Dad: Doctor, I’ve got a bottle of water stuck in my ear!
    Doctor: I think you’ve got a drinking problem.

 

  • Where do pirates go to exercise? To the Jim, lad!

 

  • What do you get if you cross a parrot with Godzilla? I don’t know, but if he asks for a cracker, give him one

 

  • What’s the difference between ice cream and your advice? I want the ice cream.

 

  • I prefer to tell my jokes in an elevator because they work on many levels.

 

  • What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.

 

  • A Buddhist walks into a pizza place and says, “make me one with everything.”

 

  • Mom doesn’t like my pizza joke. She says it’s too cheesy,

 

  • What do you call a really clever duck? A wise quacker.

 

  • What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a frog? A bunny ribbit. 

 

  • Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Europe
    Europe who?
    How rude!

 

  • My dad was making fun of me, so I said, “I didn’t come here to be insulted!” and he said, “really? Where do you usually go?” 

 

  • My dad is so old that when mom tells him to act his age, I’m afraid he might die.

 

  • Never trust atoms. They make up everything. 

 

  • I love telling dad jokes. Occasionally he even finds them funny!
Michelle Smart
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