The 40 Very Best Dirty Jokes For Him

Jokes are something that can bring couples together, from inside jokes to corny jokes, being able to share a laugh with someone makes laughing a little bit easier. Though there’s some different kind of pleasure when it comes to sexual jokes, especially the good ones. Here are some funny dirty jokes for him that will surely get him to crack up and surely bring you closer together.

Pick up line jokes:

– “Is your name highway? Because I want to ride you all night long.”

– “Let’s play Titanic, you’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.”

– “How much did you pay for those pants? Because you can get them 100% off at my place.”

– “Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.”

– “I’m always on top of important things, would you like to be on the list?”

– “Are you a balloon? Because I want to blow you.”

– “Are you from China? Cause I’m China get in those pants.”

– “Do you have a switch? Because I want to turn you on.”

– “Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want some more.”

– “Are you an elevator? Because I wanna go up and down on you.”

More: 100 Dirty Pick Up Lines // 100 Flirty Pick-Up Lines

Corny Dirty Jokes for Him:

– What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me.

– How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

– I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

– What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Gum!

– What’s long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine!

– Why does Santa have a big sack? He only comes once a year.

– What’s the best part of gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

– Why do vegetarians give good head? They are used to eating just.

– What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it we’re closed.

– What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

Next: 82 Dark Humor Jokes

What’s the Difference?

– What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooked can wash her crack and resell it.

– What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
Ones a good year and the other is a great year.

– What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew the lightbulb.

– What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years your job will suck.

– What’s the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day anal makes your hole week.

– What’s the difference between a peeping Tom and a pickpocket?
One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch.

– What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on.

– What’s the difference between “Ooh” and “Aah”?
About three inches.

– What’s the difference between your penis and your bonus cheque?
Someone will want to blow your bonus.

– What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
The sex drive.

What do you call…

– What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? Hot!

– What do you call a guy with a small penis? Justin!

– What do you call a guy with a big penis? Phil!

– What do you call a virgin laying in a waterbed? Cherry float!

– What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? The man!

– What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-Lott-o-puss.

– What do you call cheap circumcision? A rip-off!

– What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter!

– What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off!

– What do you call a guy who cries when pleasuring himself? A tearjerker!