Grab a coffee, and let’s talk
Did you feel anxious, embarrassed, or embarrassed in front of someone you barely know?
Have you ever made a joke but only got a few half-hearted laughs? Or maybe you tried to start a conversation, but it fizzled out and had to endure a few minutes of awkward silence. If you’ve ever experienced any of these before, you know the importance of good conversation skills.
It happens a lot: you meet someone new, exchange smiles, say “hello” or “Hey there,” and that’s it. Even if you are willing to continue the conversation, you are out of topics and regret later. If this happens to you, then do not worry – this is entirely normal. This post will share two methods and some issues that can make your conversations go on smoothly.
Dialogue is one of the pillars of our relationship with each other. It is through words that we come into contact with our society and our culture. To create, preserve, and enrich our supporting circle, knowing how to keep a good conversation is critical. The good news is that all of these social skills can be improved with the proper techniques and practices. . We speak of a “genre,” which is a learned employing approach.
The most important part of maintaining a good conversation has an open attitude to others. You can learn from everyone and have a pleasant exchange with almost anyone on Earth. But specific standards contribute to the dialogue being richer. Here they are.
“A good conversation should exhaust the subject, not the interlocutors.” – Winston Churchill
1. Listen, don’t hear
Keeping a healthy dialogue depends directly on our listening capacity. Knowing how to listen to others does not mean increasing the amount of sound the ear can hear. Good listening is active. And participatory. Actual listening stops the conversation from being a monologue played in your head. If only one of the two is speaking, there is no conversation. Of course, there is always a certain asymmetry. Someone talks more while the other listens more. It is challenging to achieve an absolute balance, but the closer we get to it, the more quality the dialogue will gain.
2. Save terminal breaks
There is always a moment when silence makes its appearance. Some might be profoundly embarrassed. However, it is not that serious. Breaks are also necessary. However, when the silence drags on a little too long when we do not want to end the conversation yet, we must try to save the dialogue from this void.
How do you get there? The best way is to introduce transitional sentences. These statements allow you to restart the dialogue by taking up a subject already mentioned or talking about a new point. These are expressions like “about what you said before…”, “to change the subject, I would like to know what you think about…”, “I didn’t tell you that…”. These phrases help you connect and keep a good conversation going.
3. Give details and engage
Engaging consists of answering the questions of our interlocutor with quality content. If we answer laconically or limit ourselves to monosyllables, we will frustrate the other person trying to keep a good conversation going.
By answering the other’s questions and offering them additional information, we will facilitate dialogue. The ability to reveal what we feel or believe is, makes the conversation more straightforward. We do not necessarily have to give a very long answer but offer additional data to whoever asks for it.
4. Consciousness, one of the secrets to a strong talk
As humans, we tend to offer our trust to the people who give it to us. Just as we are used to being more open with those who adopt this attitude. If you want a conversation to move to a more personal topic, we recommend that you start sharing content at this level. In other words, you must disclose aspects relating to your privacy.
If we spontaneously talk about these personal aspects, the other person will probably feel more motivated to talk about them. We will therefore move from a polite and formal conversation to a more personal one.
5. Questions, the talk engine
Questions help move the conversation forward. They don’t just allow you to explore and get to know the other person better; they an essential in maintaining a good conversation. Of course, it is necessary to show discernment to choose the questions we will ask our interlocutor. The goal is not to invade him or make him feel like he is in the middle of an interrogation.
If you don’t know someone well enough, your best bet is to ask them questions that start from a superficial point and go to more interesting facts.
In this way, confidence can increase naturally, and you will not create moments of embarrassment.
It is worth cultivating the art of good talk. It doesn’t just get you into fun situations. It is also a therapeutic element. Good conversation allows you to express yourself, listen and learn from others. It also enriches your life and gives more colour to relationships with others.
Knowing how to converse is quite an art.
For others, maintaining a discussion is much more complex. They may end up thinking that they are uninteresting people or have nothing to say. If this has happened to you before, you know how much panic is possible at such times. Meeting new people can put us in terrifying insecurity. But we don’t have to worry because nothing is lost. Knowing how to converse can be learned through a few simple techniques.
We have to tell ourselves that the people who have difficulty maintaining an interesting conversation are often the ones who are the most attentive to the opinions of others. It’s not that they’re less interesting or have less to tell than others, but that they’re afraid of being judged if they say something absurd or trivial.
In reality, they analyse far too much what they will say, and their speech filters are far too demanding. Nothing seems interesting enough to them to be told, and they prefer to keep quiet. Very quickly, they will find themselves without anything to say, and the silence in which they find themselves immersed will terrorise them.
It is necessary to realise that we are all sensitive to the approval of others, but often much more than what we need. Getting out of this state of affairs will allow us to be freer to say, do, or think as we want.
This is not to say that we should not be careful when intervening in certain conversations. It’s not about shutting down everything that comes through our minds, but expressing our opinion adequately and eliminating anything that might harm others, even if we don’t want to. Prudence is not the proof of a lack of assertiveness nor a demonstration of cowardice. On the contrary, it is a fundamental value that allows us to strengthen our relationships with those around us.
6. The rule of how, where, why and when
Sometimes the people we talk to tell us about their recent experiences, such as a trip. We may not be sure where to start the conversation. This is when the rule we have just enacted takes on its full importance. Ask your interviewer questions using the four adverbs above. How have you been to Barcelona, by plane or by train? Where did you go exactly? Why did you go on vacation or work? When did you go? In this way, you have every chance to make this conversation more interesting.
7. Find common points with your interlocutor
This technique is effortless: you have to concentrate on your interlocutor and deduce what they like. If they’re wearing a rock band t-shirt that you love too, don’t hesitate to talk about it. You can also directly ask him about his tastes in different themes. If you find some commonalities, your conversation will immediately become more interesting, as you and him/her are. We all love
people who are like us, and talking about things we know how to do is always a pleasure.
8. What if you don’t have things in common?
Here is an ideal situation to learn more! Imagine that you are chatting with someone about plants, and you know absolutely nothing about it. Now is an excellent time to start asking questions: “ I always wanted to know what the difference was between this plant x and this plant y, could you explain to me? “. In the end, in addition to having an exciting conversation with the other, you will learn things. Your interlocutor will notice that you do not know anything about this subject, but you are interested in it: this situation will create an exciting and robust bond.
9. Take an interest in the life of your conversational partner (with discretion)
Deep down, we all like others to ask us questions about our life. Human beings love to talk about themselves and do not miss an opportunity to do so when given a chance. Some questions you can ask that can spark fascinating conversations are: “ What movies do you like? “What kind of music do you listen to? “Do you like to travel “, Etc?
We recommend that you avoid questions about the couple, as this can give the impression that you are flirting. Work and salary are also topics to avoid, as some people who have recently lost their jobs or are not yet sure what to do with their lives may find it difficult to talk about it. Ditto for academic training, which can be the Achilles heel of some people.
10. Keep up to date with the latest news
Here is one last strategy for you to bond with others. Ask questions about current political affairs, ask your conversational partner’s opinion, or talk about the previous film that came out and that you have not yet seen. Before going to a social event, do not hesitate to watch the news and remember some exciting topics that you will talk about.
We’ve just walked you through some strategies you can start using to have an interesting conversation with others and avoid white people who make you feel uncomfortable. Again, remember that it is essential to consider other people’s opinions for what it is and not restrain your own, as long as it doesn’t hurt others.