The 40 Very Best Gross Jokes

Looking to get grossed out and laugh your head off, well you came to the right place.

Here are 40 jokes about farts, vomit, boogers and everything gross. Get a bag ready because you are going to get sick. These jokes have been crafted by gross comedy experts. You will be rolling on the floor and sticking your head in the toilet, that’s a guarantee. Get ready to chuckle until you upchuck!

How did the chicken cross the road? He farted to the other side

What do you do if you’re bored? Pick your nose. What do you do if you are hungry? Pick your friends nose

What stinks and is wet? Grandma’s kisses

What does scooby doo have to do after eating a lot of scooby snacks? He has to scooby poo

What’s the worst breakfast you can eat? Pop Farts

What happens when Rocky Balboa works out too much? He Rocky Bal-throwsup

Where can you find the best cheese? A cow’s belly button

What do ghost’s farts sound like? POO!

What do you call monsters that live in your nose? Boogeyman

What do jedi’s do when they have an upset stomach? They use the farts

What happens when you pee on a snowman? He looks like Homer Simpson

How many Diapers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero, they are all to busy getting pooped in

What do you say to the person waiting to use the bathroom after you leave? Your turd

What do you call baked diarrhea? A mud pie

How do dogs send emails? They sniff each others butts

What snack goes best with a peanut butter and toe jam sandwich? Toe Nails

How do chimpanzees play sports? They throw their poop at each other

Where does Batman pee? The bat-room.

Humans eat soup in a bread bowl, what do dogs eat their soup in? A toilet bowl

What tastes worse than baby food? Baby throw up

What is a good pet to have if you are out of toilet paper? A rabbit

What does a snickers candy bar and a kit kat candy bar have in common? They both look like cat poop

What do noses have on their salad instead of croutons? Dried boogers

Why do cats love the beach? It is a giant litter box

What do Toilets drink to wake up in the morning? A cup of Pee

What pizza toppings should you never order? Pineapple and smelly socks with mayonnaise on top

Why do the avengers and the hulk have separate restrooms? He poops out gamma radiation

What do astronauts use for toilets? Black holes

What is a cockroach’s hot tub? Someone’s  cup of coffee

How do you hear better and have your stomach full at the same time? You eat your ear wax

What makes snot in a tissue so great? You can give it to your friend as a gift and it is already wrapped

How does Bugs Bunny know he is healthy? His poop is shaped like a carrot

How do you know that you threw up and just had a snack? It smells and tastes like goldfish crackers

What do dogs eat for dessert after they have dinner? The vomit that was just their dinner

What’s worse than bad breath from your mouth? Bad breath from your butt

Where does Christmas snow come from? Santa Claus’s dandruff

What smells worse than a bunch of punk rockers in a mosh pit? Their armpits

What does Mickey Mouse have to use to pick up Pluto’s poop if he is out of bags? His gloves

What’s great about not brushing your teeth? You always have food from the night before

What did the poop say to the nosey poop when it was in its room? “ Don’t read my diarrhea!”