50 Thursday Jokes to Get You to the Weekend

Let’s face it. When Thursday comes around, most of us just can’t wait until the weekend. There’s more to celebrate than you might think on Thursday (or as we like to call, pre-Friday.) 

Hopefully, these 35 Thursday jokes will make you smile until Friday rolls around.

Funniest Thursday Jokes: 

1. What is the best day to buy roses? 

Thorns day.

2. What do the French call a bad Thursday?

A tra-jeudi.

3. When does Friday come before Thursday? 

In the dictionary. 

4. What is the busiest day for a chiropractor? 

Throwback Thursday. 

5. When does Thursday not start with the letter “T”? 

When it was yesterday. Then it starts with a “Y.” 

6. What day do you drink the most water? 

Thirstday 

7. What do they call Thanksgiving in Italy? 

Thursday. 

8. How can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? 

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

9. What is a classical musician’s favorite day of the week? 

Throw-Bach Thursday. 

10. What did the birthday girl say on her birthday? 

It’s not Thurs day it’s my day! 

11. How do you make time fly on Thursdays? 

Throw a clock out the window. 

12. Why did the couple name their new baby Thursday? 

They already had ten kids, so they thought they would call it a day. 

13. What do you call a Thursday without sunshine? 

Thursday night. 

14. What’s the worst sound to hear on Thursday morning? 

An alarm clock. 

15. When is National Procrastination Day? 

Last Thursday

Thursday One-Liners: 

You call it Thursday, I call it Friday Eve. 

Nothing ruins your Friday like finding out it’s only Thursday. 

Better days are just around the corner. They’re called Friday, Saturday, and Sunday! 

If 40 is the new 30, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday? 

My milk expires on Thursday. That means my milk has a date this week and I don’t. 

If you think Thursdays are sad, wait two more days; it will be a sadder day. 

The only thing I throwback on Thursdays is alcohol. 

My boss asked why I was late 4 times this week. I answered, “Because it’s only Thursday.”  

My girlfriend is a garbage collector. I can’t remember if I’m taking her out Wednesday or Thursday. 

“Wednesday’s child is full of woe but Thursday’s child has far to go.” – Elisse Boyd

Thursday Puns:  

1. Why can’t Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday lift weights? 

Because they’re all weekdays. 

2. What does the Cyclops say every Thursday evening? 

Eye can’t wait til Friday. 

3. What did the executioner say on Thursday morning? 

It’s time to beheaded to work. 

4. When does the King hold jousting tournaments? 

On Thursday Knights. 

5. Do skeletons like Thursday jokes? 

Of course. They find them very humerus. 

6. Why shouldn’t farmers hold a meeting on Thursday?

None of them will turnip.

7. Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse gods Loki and Thor? 

If you like facts about Norse mythology then it’s your Loki day. 

8. Why wasn’t the French chef ready to cook Thursday breakfast? 

It crêpe’d up on him. 

9. What do taxidermists do on Thursdays? 

Nothing special. Just the usual stuff. 

10. What is the best day to study philosophy? 

Thoreau back Thursday?