110 Hilarious Bird Jokes

Have you heard the one about the chicken crossing the road? It may feel like birds have been the focal point of every joke since the inception of comedy, but that’s because bird puns can be pretty funny.These avian creatures serve as the inspiration for timeless quips and wisecracks that are a chirp off the old block. Chickens, ducks, turkeys, owls, and other feathered fowl are always a hoot when it comes to getting a laugh. These jokes are so good you won’t be able to stop raven about them. If you’re already egg-cited and can’t wait to quack up laughing, check out these 110 hilarious bird jokes.

What do you call a chicken who loves telling jokes?
A comedi-hen.

What kind of bird never has a bad hair day?
A bald eagle.

What’s black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A penguin falling down the stairs.

Why did the bird go to the library?
Because it was looking for bookworms.

What was the owl’s favorite restaurant?
Hooters.

What do you get when you cross a firecracker with a duck?
A firequacker.

How was the turkey able to join a band?
Because he had his own drumsticks.

What kind of bird would steal all of your bath toys?
A robber ducky.

What do you call an eagle when he’s sick?
Illegal.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the ocean they’d be bagels.

Why did the bird get kicked out of school?
Because he got caught tweeting on a test.

What does a cat call a hummingbird?
Fast food.

What is a bird’s favorite game to play?
Hide and beak.

How can you tell when a bird is mad at you?
They give you the silent tweetment.

What is a chicken’s favorite subject to study in school?
Egg-onomics.

How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled right by.

What kind of bird runs the church?
A cardinal.

Where do smart birds invest their money?
The stork market.

Why did the owl take a shower?
So he didn’t smell so fowl.

Why did the bird bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he was a party pooper.

How do you get a raven to stop calling?
You take away his cell phone.

Why don’t birds study for tests?
They prefer to wing it.

What do you call birds that are usually locked up?
Jail-birds.

How do chickens stay in shape?
By getting lots of egg-cersize.

What do you call a bird that is always out of breath?
A puffin.

Why did the cheap pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
It’s bill was massive.

When is the best time to buy a pet bird?
When they’re going “cheep”.

Why do owls always get invited to parties?
Because they’re a hoot.

How did the bird break into the house?
With a crow-bar.

What is an owl’s favorite thing to drink?
Hoot beer.

Why did the emu not laugh at the joke?
He didn’t find it emu-sing.

Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they can’t remember the words.

What kind of bird works on a construction site?
A crane.

Why did the teacher carry birdseed?
Because he had a parrot-teacher conference.

What is a bird’s favorite part of a salad?
Crow-tons.

What do you call birds that stick together?
Velcrows.

What is a bird’s dream job?
A flight attendant.

Why do flamingos lift one leg?
Because if they lifted two they would fall over.

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up every morning?
An alarm cluck.

Why did the pigeon cross the road?
Because it was the chicken’s day off

What’s a hen’s favorite kind of movie?
A chick flick.

Why did the chicken have his bachelor party at Chick-fil-a?
Because he wanted to see a chicken strip.

Where do you find a peacock?
In between two peanuts.

When does the duck wake up every morning?
At the quack of dawn.

What do spiders and ducks have in common?
Webbed feet.

How many birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Toucan do it.

Why didn’t the duck like his Canadian cousin?
He’s a bit of a loon.

Why was the seagull sad on Valentine’s Day?
He didn’t have a gull friend.

How do you know that woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because they’re all head-bangers.

What’s a pornstar’s favorite bird?
A swallow.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to waddle.

What does an eagle like to write with?
A bald-point pen.

Why did the chicken farmer become a teacher?
So he could grade his eggs.

What does a one-legged turkey say?
Wobble Wobble.

Why did the bird spend the night in jail?
For committing a featheral offense.

What do you call a turkey that has drank too much caffeine?
A perky turkey.

What do you call a turkey on Thanksgiving?
Dinner.

What do you call a duck who is good at telling jokes?
A wise quaker.

Where does a 500-pound canary sit?
Anywhere it wants.

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.

How do chickens bake a cake?
From scratch.

Where does the penguin keep his money?
In a snow bank.

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where do chickens come from?
A poul-tree.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?
Roost beef!

Where do tough chickens come from?
Hard-boiled eggs.

What do you call a parrot that’s flown away?
A polygon.

What did the duck say after he went shopping?
“Put it on my bill”.

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.

Why was the duck so good at solving crimes?
He really knew how to quack the case!

Why did the dodo bird cross the street twice?
He wanted to prove he was no chicken!

What do chicken families do on the weekend?
Have peck-nics!

What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs!

What does a pessimistic rooster say?
Cock-a-doodle-don’t!

What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead!

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide and seek?
Fowl play.

How did the bird with a broken wing land safely?
By using its sparrowchute!

What does a 1000 pound canary say?
Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

Why did Mozart hate chickens?
Because they always say “Bach, Bach, Bach!”

What kind of bird should you never bring to the bank?
A robin!

What movie does every bird love to watch?
Lord of the Wings!

What kind of bird doubles as a fruit?
A kiwi!

What do you call a white crow?
Caw-casian!

Why did the vulture cross the road?
Because the chicken didn’t make it!

What is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!

What’s a crow’s favorite drink?
Caw-fee!

Why can police always search a car that is driven by a crow?
Probable caws!

Did you hear the story about the peacock?
It was quite a beautiful tail.

What happens when a duck flies upside down?
He quacks up!

What did the big bird say to the little bird?
Peck on someone your own size!

Why did the other birds laugh at the owl?
Because he was a real hoot!

Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re a chicken!

What is a female seagull’s favorite song?
Gulls Just Wanna Have Fun!

What do you call a bird who stars in action movies?
Steven Seagull.

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
I hope I didn’t quack any!

What is it called when it’s raining ducks and geese?
Fowl weather!

What kind of TV shows do ducks prefer to watch?
Duck-umentaries.

What do you call a bird that is afraid to fly?
Chicken!

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.

What do you call a bird who always gets first place?
A peng-win!

How can you tell if a flamingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one is missing!

Why can’t kids communicate with geese?
They’re not allowed to use fowl language!

What do you call a seagull during the winter?
A brrr-d.

Where is the best place to find information on eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.

Why did the penguin jump off the iceberg?
He got cold feet!

What kind of bird says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups!

What do you call an eagle that can play the piano?
Talon-ted.

What do you call an eagle swimming over the sea?
A seagull.

Why should you avoid buying a funny chicken?
It could end up roasting you.

What do you say to a rude turkey?
Go pluck yourself!