55 Very Best Bear Jokes

Bears come in all shapes and sizes. Some are mean, some are nice, some will give you a hug, some will eat you. Here are some jokes in case you run into a bear and need to break the ice. These jokes will make a bear laugh so hard it will stick its head in a beehive and so will you!

Telling these jokes to a bear is going to make him grab his two friends and make you have to give them a comedy show, or they’ll have you for dinner! Or you could just stay at home and read these bear jokes and laugh to yourself without the threat of being eaten. 

55 Bear-y Funny Bear Jokes

How do bears grill their meat? With bearbeques 

What did Yogi bear say when he had to go to the bathroom? Hey boo boo I gotta take a poo poo

What did the bear order at Mcdonalds? A hambearger

What do you call a bear that is a therapist? A care bear

What was the bear’s name that won the lottery? Winning the Pooh

Where did the bear want the sunscreen? On it’s bear back

What family of bears own a laundromat? The berenostainbears

How does Paddington bear give massages? He pads you on the back

What do you call being tricked by a panda bear? Being bamboozled

What did the bear order at the cafe? Honey without the tea

What do bear’s call marriage? A bear trap

What’s worse than a bear hug? A bear kiss

What happens when a bear sees a crime? He is a bear witness

What do bears do when they have a test? They prebear for it

Why was the bear holding the ring at a wedding? He was the ring bearer

What happened when the bear bent over. He beared open his pants

What’s a bear’s idea of a vacation? Scratching their butt on a tree

Why did the bear jump off the water fall? His friends beared him to do it

What happens when a bear is allergic to honey? He gets covered in beehives

What is a bear’s favorite dessert  after eating everything in a campsite? The campers

What do you call a bear on fire? Smokey the bear

What do you call a bear that is into bad music? A Polka Bear

Why did the police officer bite the bear’s claw? He thought it was a donut

What did the bear say before prom? I don’t know what to bear

What do bear’s call bad dreams? Nightbears

What horror movie character scares bears the most? Beary Kruger

What do you call a bear with messy hair? Having a bad bear day

What did the bear buy at the clothing store? A bear of jeans

What do you call the inside of a bear’s belly button question? A bear cave

What do you call a bear frozen in ice? A bearsicle

The bear loves honey so much, he asked it to marry him. He did it by getting on one bee

 How do bears like their steak cooked? Medium bear

What is a bear’s favorite musician? Goldie Rocks

What did the grizzly bear say to snoop dogg when he asked for a favor? For snizzle my grizzle

How do bears feel when humans find their scat? They feel embearressed

What did the bear say when asked if he knew suzie? Suzie? I bearly know her.

What do you call a bear that lives underwater? A bearricuda

How do polite bears get honey? They beehave

What do bears do in a stressful situation? They hold their bearings

What bear loves to talk on the phone? A Callabear

What kind of bears like to report disasters? Bad news bears

What is a bear’s favorite book series? Beary Potter

What do you call an apocalypse full of bears? A bearin wasteland

What do you call two bears fist bumping? Beary Knuckles

What’s the first thing a bear does in the morning? He starts bruin some coffee

Why do people love the bears that are in the toilet paper commercials? They are so charming

What did the bear say to the other bear that kept bugging him. Would you mind your own bearness!

What do bears grab during an earthquake? The bear necessities

Where do young bears go to dance? They go to the cub

What do bears wear to a sports event? Their favorite player’s bearsy

What do you call a bear that lives in Alaska and has a lot of friends? A po-pular bear

What is a bear’s favorite cereal? Honey Comb with salmon flavored marshmallows

What do you call making nonstop eye contact with a bear? Having a bearing contest

Why did the bald guy put a bunch of bears on top of his head? So he would have a full head of bear

What was the first bear president’s name? Teddy Roosevelt