40 Very Best Horse Jokes

40 Very Best Horse Jokes

Is your humor put out to pasture? Or do you want some jokes for some casual canter? Been looking for something to spice up your conversations with the others on the farm? Or do you just want a good joke about a horse that doesn’t walk into a bar?

Here are some incredible horse jokes that will give you a stampede of laughs!

What’s something you never tell a stuck-up pony?

“Get off of your high horse!”

Why was the horse’s tail short?

The cowboy had to gal-lop it off!

Why does the cowboy name all his horses now?

Because he’s been through the desert on a horse with no name.

What was King Arthur’s favorite horse?

The magical horse Mare-lin!

Why was Garth Brooks covered in dust and tumbleweeds?

Because wild horses keep dragging him away.

What do you call a horse friend made out of peppermint?

A Pal-o-Mentos!

What’s the worst cough a horse can get?

The croup!

Where can you find a horse sailing?

Down at the paddocks!

What’s something you should never tell a horse about their attitude?

That they’re stubborn as a mule!

Does this horse look Hellenistic to you?

No, it looks more Trojan.

What newspaper would a horse love to read?

The Bridle Gossip!

What was the farmer saying to the foals?

“Now, I don’t wanna see any horse-play!”

What kind of horse can pass as a bean?

A pinto!

What’s the worst way to get a horse to do something?

You put the cart before it.

What kind of horse is Mister Ed?

Some say he’s a Dark Horse, but I think he’s got Tack.

What do you call a horse who loves arts and crafts?

He’s a hobby-horse!

What sport do commentators think makes no sense?

Horse hockey!

What do you call a horse that claims to be from the UK?

A Welsh phony!

How do you know a horse is eager?

When they’re chomping at the bit!

Why were the horse’s jokes so corny?

Because he was a Cob!

What do you do with a horse joke that goes too far?

You rein it in!

What do you call a horse with OCD?

A Thorough-steed!

Why are there two horses living in this city?

Well, it used to be a one-horse town.

Where do celebrity horses go to make movies?


Why was the horse more than ready to dance?

Because he was hot to trot!

Why did the rider have trouble feeding his horse?

He brought him to water but he couldn’t make him drink.

What kind of horse works with donuts?

A horse of a different crueller!

Why would a horse make a terrible hairstylist?

They can only make pony-tails!

Never underestimate how fast an Amish cart can go in a race.

They always have ample horsepower!

How can a horse mend a metal fence?

By using nuts and colts!

What kind of spa treatment does a horse get?

A Mane-i-pedi!

What kind of conversations to horses have?

Casual canter!

You ever heard about the old gray mare?

She ain’t what she used to be.

Why couldn’t the farmer let the horse out to walk?

He forgot to close the gait!

Why is it hard to go horseback riding with Rascal Flatts?

They have no reins.

How can you break up a dollar horse?

You turn it into quarter-horses!

Never mention how long a horse’s face is.

The bartender already told them.

What is a horse’s favorite dancing game?

Prance Prance Revolution!

What is a horse’s favorite holiday?

Hay Day!

What does a horse say when they praise you?

“Hoof’s off to you!”

Koneko Ryuugamine