How to Start a Conversation on Tinder

They say you can master every skill on Earth if you practice for 10,000 hours. The problem is spending these 10,000 hours diligently learning about it and practicing. Speaking of dating, for example, you know what a good practice could seem like. 

Nothing but Tinder conversations. (You thought the same, didn’t you?!). Getting your hands dirty… by typing the right letters helps you navigate the wild forests of online dating. You never know what comes up in the next swipe. 

Experts say online dating is disrupting the way people date, and more: “Online dating has not only disrupted more traditional ways of meeting romantic partners, its rise also comes at a time when norms and behaviors around marriage and cohabitation also are changing as more people delay marriage or choose to remain single.”

I’ve read reviews from people calling out the app, but the reason why most of them don’t get results, it’s not the app, and neither are they beautifully edited pictures. (C’mon. We all click that Photoshop icon at times.) It’s the approach. 

What matters at the end of the day, is whether you have found someone to express to, and have a nice conversation with. The Internet has made expressing yourself easier even for the shy ones. All you need is the courage to start with that first line and be honest about your intention while having fun. 

Stop staying puzzled about who shall start the conversation first, and just go forward with your intuition. There are no actual one-size-fits-all… formulas for the perfect line, but surely there are approaches that have worked before, and eventually will work again. 

Keep peeling through this list and you’ll see your efforts yield fruitful results.

 

How To Start A Conversation On Tinder

As you might have guessed, the wrong way it’s the most obvious one. Starting with a “Hi”, and you’ll end up next to the pile of unread or seen messages. When it comes to impressing someone online, you need to be a bit creative since people have already been bored of the ol’ methods and pick-up lines. (more on this later)

However, if you want to make things on Tinder really work out, crafting the essentials well, it’s applicable to everyone. So, where do we start?

 

You Are Who?

Social media has shortened our attention spans significantly. Nearly 21 years after Microsoft’s research that claimed the average attention span to be 12 seconds, new studies showed this time coming down to eight seconds.

This means you have even less time and chances to impress now, so what goes first? We start with your bio. Keep your bio clean, and punchy. Your bio must either describe one of your most important traits or what you’d want others to highlight about you. Or both. 

Ex. Don’t text me if you’re not a running freak!…

Your bio plays a mandatory role in your spicy messages being understood. If you start with a pun that has to do with running, the other person understands it better because your bio shows your connection to this hobby. 

 

Start with a KISS 

Now, after perfecting your bio, it’s time to actually start sending out messages that get replies. And things are simpler than you have thought. Your messages must follow the KISS rule. Keep It Short and Simple because, besides short attention spans, no one has time to read long love letters. (Trust me, I’ve tried!) 

Write a message that’s personal, relating to the bio description, and profile picture. At the same time, keep the distance. Mentioning the person’s name for example is something that shows confidentiality you don’t yet have. The less uncomfortable situations you create, the higher the chances for the convo to flow smoothly are.

The first line could go like this: 

  • “Hey, don’t tell me that the pic in your bio….”
  • “You may not believe it, but…”
  • “Have you ever thought about…”

After you’ve done this but seen not many results, it’s time to get a bit more courageous. You go out there and be more straightforward.

 

Show Them You Know To Play Harder

Staying in your comfort zone doesn’t always bring results, and this goes for online dating as well. Making bold compliments and teasing them about their interests makes you seem interesting in their eyes. And you don’t have to struggle much to do this since they’ve already done half the job for you…in their bio. 

Find details in their bio you can relate to, and go for a challenging or intriguing question. Have fun with it. You’ll be surprised how smoothly the conversation flows when you approach it as a play. 

E.g: Let’s say they’re a cat lover. Start with a pun such as: “I thought the purr-fect photo didn’t exist. I was so damn wrong!…”

Or 

“So cute? Paw-lease, could you tell me the name of this cutie?…”

Then, you could surely play around with spicy compliments, but that’s a bit risky business. Not everyone likes compliments from a stranger. Even though you might not be strangers…?

 

Careful! How Close Are They?! 

Tinder is awesome, but it can easily become awful when you date people you know in real life, through a fake profile. Imagine talking with your neighbor through a fake profile, and then having them knock at your door the other day. (I can read your mind. Not in that sense…) 

It could become quite embarrassing if you’re not using the filtering settings properly, and asking when doubtful. Adjust them to search for people near you, but always ask about the location. This is important for two reasons: 

  • They could turn out to be acquaintances. (and it’d be quite not-much-fun!) 
  • You’re likely to know similar places, which turns into a worthwhile point to initiate and continue the conversation. 

Now, that you’ve covered the fundamentals, you’re probably wondering what’s next?

 

Heading For The Real Gold! 

What’s the real gold for a Tinder conversation? Finding something you’re both madly passionate about and ask questions about it. By asking questions, and being invested in a conversation that’s honest, and connects you emotionally as friends, before becoming something more. 

Hence, your bio helps you match with people you share the same passions with, and from there you can build a strong connection. Tinder features are there to give you a hand too. 

Browse through the latest Instagram posts and peek at their Spotify playlist. Maybe you’re both fans of the same musician or genre?! Why not include one of these in your convo starter? 

  • “I felt kinda alone because I thought only I was posting … pictures on Instagram…”
  • “OMG! You’re a fan of X! I love [song_name] from his latest album. Is [song_they_selected] your favorite?”

These are the basics of kicking off a conversation on Tinder. If you think they’re pretty general, well we thought about it too. This is why we’re bringing below 20 Extra lines you can copy-paste and start conversations on Tinder seamlessly.

 

20 Tinder Conversation Starters

#1 – What do we tell our parents about how we met?

Starting off with a funny line that makes the other person picture being together, almost always works.

 

#2 – If you could have any superpower for a day, what would you choose?

Challenging questions that play with their imagination could tell you a lot about their character.

 

#3 – Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.

Comparing WiFi connections to human connections is another fun example of another line. You can apply the same “formula” to create other jokes.

 

#4 – What would you do if you won the lottery?

Asking to dig down into their dreams gives you an understanding of their desires and what they crave for the most in life.

 

#5 – I have to go to this boring event today, will you come to make it more fun?

Making the other person feel involved through a friendly invitation creates an instant good vibe of friendship. 

 

#6 – Complete the sentence: I couldn’t imagine living without _______.

Keep throwing the bait to understand their preferences, so that you could build conversations around that piece of information.

 

#7 – If you had to describe yourself using only three words, what would they be?

This is another question that makes them feel challenged and lets you know them better.

 

#8 – What’s your favorite song lyric?

Who doesn’t love music?! This message would give you information about their personality. Based on the type of songs lyrics they like you’ll understand their general mood and relationship with music.

 

#9 – If you had just one last meal, what would you choose to eat?

Food! A delicious and challenging question like this not only creates space for small talk but also leaves you with some notes to refer to if a real-life date happens.

 

#10 – If you could only watch one tv show for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

After food, TV shows are a great topic to explore and find commonalities to talk about.

 

#11- If you had to date an animal, what kind of animal would you date?

Wow them with this one, and put their imagination to work! Asking uncommon questions will make you stick in their mind for a long time.

 

#12 – If you could do anything without getting caught, what would it be?

A bit tricky because it makes their mind wander on dirty waters, sparkle chemistry, as well as explore their fears, or desires.

 

#13 – Are you a morning or night person?

Ask about their routine. A valuable question that helps you understand why they’re not replying to you quickly in a certain part of the day.

 

#14 – So, what kind of relationship are you looking for?

Straight to the point. Sometimes cutting it short saves time for both of you, because you might be chatting for long with someone who has different intentions. Better be clear since the beginning.

 

#15 – Do you believe in soulmates?

Sweet, but not creepy or teasing. Ask questions from a distanced point of view, otherwise, they’d feel uncomfortable.

 

#16 – “What movies make you cry?

Understand their emotions, and explore topics where you could find similarities to talk more about. Almost all questions involving emotions that aren’t very personal, make a good starter.

 

#17 – “Would you rather kiss me in public or kiss me in private?

This one will probably get you into an intimate conversation quickly, but don’t get too excited. Maintain the distance and don’t appear too clingy. No one likes that.

 

#18 – “Are you a time traveler? Cause I see you in my future!

Another joke that’s creative enough to grant you a reply.

 

#19 – “I’m not an electrician, but I can light up your day.

Do you see the pattern? It works to form multiple comparisons that’ll make the other person smile, while you appear clever in their eyes.

 

#20 – “Working on anything exciting lately?

Talk professions. It could lead you into finding the gold we mentioned above. Then, simply let things flow.

 

These were some lines you could use to initiate conversations with your Tinder matches. Surely, it always depends on the purpose and your type of personality. Whatever technique you might find works, it’s important that you stay true to yourself, and don’t fake it just because it helps get the conversation going. 

A fallacy is like a bubble. Sooner or later it blows, and you’re left with nothing. Experts suggest you don’t have to go super deep into forcing conversations to happen. If the vibe is there, it will happen. If it’s not, just move on. Avoid going too deep or getting too attached. This is advisable for real-life dates, not to mention here Tinder dating.

Remember to simply enjoy the conversations here and there, and learn from your past mistakes. 

All these said we wish you happy (and successful) swiping!

Gletjan Muco
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