• LIFE
118 Very Dirty Text Messages to Send to Your Boo

118 Very Dirty Text Messages to Send to Your Boo

It’s important to keep things spiced up in the bedroom, but it’s hard to know where to start. What are they into, what are they not? Whether you want to ask questions or get frisky, we’ve got the perfect dirty message to take your romantic life from slow to let’s go!

 

The Romantic Romeo

I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. Deal?

I want to take you out to dinner, then light the bedroom with candles and show you how much I love you.

Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

I love every part of you.

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.

Did you know penguins stick to one partner their whole life? Would you like to be my penguin?

Can I give you a hug to show you how soft my sweater is?

I’d love to get to know your body.

If I were an octopus, all my hearts would belong to you.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Oh! I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

I just want to spend all night with your body next to mine.

I don’t want to wake up next to anyone but you.

I want to tell you how beautiful you look in the bedroom.

 

The Tame Texter

It feels lonely in bed without you.

I want to wake up to more of this tomorrow morning.

Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place?

That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?

I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.

Want to save water by showering together?

You better keep all this in mind next time we see each other.

I’m going for a walk. Would you mind holding my hand?

Can I stop by for lunch?

I want to tell you what I want, but I’m not sure how…

What should I wear tonight?

I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight 😉

I feel a bit shy, maybe tell me what you want first?

Do you want to go on a romantic date together?

I would love to see more of you, if you know what I mean…

 

The Couple with Kids

Wanna lock the bedroom door tonight?

Let’s get to know each other again like it’s the first time…

Wanna put on Moana and sneak off together?

The kids are asleep…

Meet you in the bathroom in five?

Let’s put on a movie you can’t find on Disney+ 😉

Can you leave work early today?

Might need your help in the shower after the kids are in bed tonight.

I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away while you’re vacuuming.

I couldn’t stop checking you out when you left for work this morning.

You’re a DILF.

We’ve got five minutes until the kids are home. Do you accept the challenge?

 

The Raunchy Randy

— Dirty Text Messages

Ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey? Want to act out a few scenes?

Let’s not waste time taking each others’ clothes off.

If this is how it is over the phone, I don’t know if I’ll survive the real thing.

I’ve been naughty with my workload/school today. Do you think I deserve to be punished?

With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.

Don’t ever change. Just get naked.

You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.

Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.

Do you want to wear that vibrator when we go out for dinner? I’ll hold the controls…

Name a body part, and I’ll send a picture of it.

Sometimes just your kisses turn me on.

Do you think I make too much noise in bed? Next time we can try a ball gag.

Do you know the most sensitive part of my body?

Should we try roleplay in bed?

Let’s make a dirty movie tonight.

What I need right now: sleep, food, and sex. Except I don’t care about the first two.

Here are my favorite ways to pleasure you [list as many as you want].

Can I practice my lap dance skills on you?

Tonight, I’ll do all the work in bed.

I’ll pay you twice your salary if you come home right now.

I just figured out the perfect safe word. Guess we have to try it out now.

8 o’clock. My bed. What you wear doesn’t matter.

I have a shower perfect for shower sex.

 

The Curious Questioner

— Dirty Text Messages

What kind of dirty talk do you like?

Do you prefer quickies or all-nighters?

Do you want to try to sleep our way through the Kama Sutra?

Would you rather go at it every day, or have one explosive night a week?

Going commando: Yes or no?

What’s your favorite type of underwear? I’m in the shops right now…

Should we buy a few new toys to use together?

What’s a sexual fantasy you have?

What temperature do you like it in the bedroom?

What’s your favorite sex memory of you and me?

If you could do it anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Have you ever heard of danger sex?

Guess what I’m going to do the next time I see you.

Do you think I should go commando tonight?

I’ve been interested in gentle/rough/sensual sex for as long as I can remember.

I’m not sure if my favorite position is with you on top of me, beneath me, or next to me. What do you think?

I stopped by the grocery store on my way home and picked up something you can eat off my body.

Remember when we first got together? How many times did we do it in one day?

Check out this fancy box of condoms in the amenities tray at my hotel. Should I bring them home?

Lights on or lights off?

When’s your favorite time in the day to have sex?

 

The Persuasive Punster

— Dirty Text Messages

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.

I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex.

I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you instead?

My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and save me?

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.

Does your name start with “C” because I can “C” us getting down.

I’m an adventurer and I want to explore you.

Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.

If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.

You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.

I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die

Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%

Are you a raisin? Cause you’re raising my hopes for a kiss right about now.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.

I’m not a dentist, but I bet I could give you a filling.

Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.

Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout!

Did you just come out of the oven? You’re too hot to handle.

I know we’re not socks, but we make a great pair.

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

You’re like pizza. Even when you’re bad, you’re good.

Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.

You dropped something. My jaw.

Emma Carey