Thanksgiving and Dad jokes are two American traditions that have stood the test of time.
Whether it’s the kids complaining, “We’re hungry!” only to have Dad say, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!” or Dad telling everyone, “Shhhh! The corn has ears!” It’s not Thanksgiving without a few groaners courtesy of dear old Dad. Surely he’ll stop one year? Nope! And don’t call him Shirley. Make sure you’ve got your Turkey and cranberry sauce, and get ready to be stuffed with laughter. Hope you like corn because these 55+ Thanksgiving Dad jokes are corny as heck!
Funny Thanksgiving Dad Jokes 2022
Why don’t rappers have turkey at Thanksgiving? Because they always have beef.
What do you use to cut wood on Thanksgiving Day? Cranberry Saws.
What did the dyslexic turkey say on Thanksgiving? Elbbog elbbog!
What is a Teddy Bear’s favorite dish on Thanksgiving? Stuffing.
Why do vampires love Thanksgiving? Because there’s no steak.
What kind of Thanksgiving meal tastes like crap? Turdkey.
How did the Pilgrims describe the corn served at the first Thanksgiving? A-maize-ing!
Why didn’t the Native American like the joke about the pilgrim getting lost in the maize? He thought it was too corny.
What happens to Jack-o’-lanterns when they pass away? They get reincarnated on Thanksgiving as pies.
Why do we say Grace at Thanksgiving dinner? Because it would take too long to send it in a text.
When is a turkey not a turkey? When it’s a goblin.
Why did Grandma call the turkey Hank? Because she was old and thought someone said it was Hanksgiving.
Why didn’t the turkey have dessert on Thanksgiving? Because he was too stuffed.
How do dads say Grace at Thanksgiving? Grace.
What did the sweet potato say when someone confused it for squash? I yam what I yam.
What part of the turkey is a zombie’s favorite part to nibble on? The person serving it.
How many turkeys does it take to feed a family of six on Thanksgiving? None. They keep dropping the utensils because they don’t have thumbs.
Thanksgiving is all about fitness. Fitness turkey in your mouth!
What do you call genetically modified birds with martial arts training? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turkeys.
What is a turkey’s favorite holiday? Any holiday that isn’t Thanksgiving.
What do dads on Thanksgiving and Death Row inmates have in common? They both eat a big meal and go to sleep afterward.
Why did the blonde vegan eat Turkey on Thanksgiving? It was dairy-free.
How do computers eat turkey? They take small bytes.
Why do we thank God for the food on Thanksgiving? Because thanking Satan would be weird.
What’s Grandpa’s favorite bourbon to drink on Thanksgiving? Wild Turkey.
What kind of monkey eats turkey? A Thanks-gibbon.
What did one Turkey say to another Turkey? Nothing. Turkeys can’t talk.
Why didn’t the computer want any pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving? It only likes cookies.
What do you call a Turkey working for the bad guys in WWII? Joseph Gobbles.
What did Dad say to the turkey that mouthed off to him? Get stuffed!
What do you call someone great at cooking a turkey all by themselves? A master baster
Why did mom invite Frankenstein over to help her make Thanksgiving dinner? So he can monster-mash the potatoes.
What do you call a potato that celebrates Thanksgiving by talking like a pirate? Gravy Jones
What do you call a chicken on Thanksgiving? Lucky.
What holiday costs the most money? Banksgiving
What do zombies do on Thanksgiving before they start eating? They say Brains.
Why aren’t dogs allowed to say Grace on Thanksgiving? Because whenever they try, it comes out ruff.
Why didn’t the pilgrims eat turkey on the first Thanksgiving? No one had invented grocery stores yet.
What did the turkey bartender ask his customers on Thanksgiving? Wattle it be.
What kind of cup do turkeys drink from on Thanksgiving? A Gobblet.
Why doesn’t corn eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They prefer cobb salads.
Why do turkeys hate odd numbers? They like to cook evenly.
Why is pie the best dessert on Thanksgiving? Because it goes on forever.
What do contrarians celebrate in November? No-thanksgiving.
Why did Iron Man ask the Hulk to make the potatoes for the Avengers’ Thanksgiving? Because Hulk Mash!
What kind of flower smells like a bunch of sweaty British expatriates? A Mayflower.
What’s the difference between a cornucopia and a barrel full of trumpets? One is a horn of plenty, and one is plenty of horns.
How can you tell if your turkey is too tough? It starts trying to stuff you!
What was Darth Vader looking for on Thanksgiving? The hidden rebel baste.
How can you tell if a turkey is done cooking? Check to see if the oven is off and if he left a bunch of dishes in the sink.
What holiday do practical jokers celebrate in November? Pranks-giving.
What do you call a dead bird that gets up from the dinner table and starts walking around? A Zomburkey.
What does Cardi B serve on Thanksgiving? Twerky.
Why does cranberry sauce come in a can? Because if it came in a box, it would leak.
What does Dracula serve on Thanksgiving? Bats-Potatoes and Cranbloody sauce.
How do you know when Dad’s eaten too much on Thanksgiving? You turn on the Macy’s Day Parade, and he’s one of the balloons.
How do Robots cook their turkey on Thanksgiving? They stuff it with nuts and bolts and baste it in oil.
What is a ghost’s favorite dish on Thanksgiving? Cran-BOO-ry sauce.
What does Freddy Krueger always bring for Thanksgiving dinner? Slashed potatoes.
What do you call someone who’s cranky on Thanksgiving? A pilgrump.
What do you call a dessert you’re proud of on Thanksgiving? Pumpkin pride.