55 Very Dirty Christmas Pick Up Lines

Christmas is a time to spend with loved ones, but what if you’re single? Don’t get your Santa hat in a twist, because here’s 55+ Dirty Christmas Pick Up Lines that will get you some Ho, Ho, Ho’s in no time. Tis’ the season to be randy but remember not to be too naughty or Santa might give you coal instead of the holiday hottie you were hoping for.

1. Girl, is your booty a stocking? Because I’d really like to stuff it.
2. Is your chest a present? Because I’d like to unwrap it.
3. Do you like Santa’s laugh? Because I want to be your ho ho ho.
4. They call me the stocking….because I’m hung.
5. Call me Santa because I wanna go up your chimney.
6. Are you Christmas? Because I can’t wait for you to come.
7. Hey baby, can I put my candy cane in your stocking?
8. Is your name milk and cookies? Because you look like a snack.
9. Girl, you got some lovely cookies. How about I add my milk?
10. Is your name Father Christmas? Because you look like a daddy to me.
11. Call me Santa because I won’t come until you’re asleep.
12. Are you the Grinch? Because you just made me grow three sizes.
13. Girl, you’re a MILE—Mom I’d Like To Elf.
14. Call me Santa because I want to see you when you’re sleeping.
15. Forget the Elf on the Shelf. I want to be your Sub in the Tub.
16. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. This Christmas, I’ve got a few other body parts to show you…
17. Are you a candy cane? Because I’d like to lick you up and down.
18. Are you a gift? Because I want to unwrap your box.
19. Can you help me finish spelling Santa? I just need T and A.
20. I need help spelling Elf. I have an E and an L. Can you give me an F?
21. Are you an angel? Because I want you on top of my Christmas tree.
22. Are you a Christmas Tree? Because I’d like to take you down after Christmas and remove your skirt.
23. Is your name Bob Cratchett? Because you look like you’d be good at lifting up my Tiny Tim.
24. Remember, you can’t spell Holidays without this D.
25. Your name must be Jacob Marley because your beauty is haunting.
26. Is your favorite reindeer Cupid? Because you’re making me fall in love.
27. Hey big boy, is your name Santa? Because it looks like you have something for me in that sack.
28. Is your name Santa? Because I want to sit on your lap and whisper what I want into your ear.
29. Are you the Grinch? Because I want you to take my package.
30. Do you like snow? Because I want to take you back to my place and give you a white Christmas.
31. I call my bed the one-horse open sleigh: It’s fun to ride in.
32. Hey girl, why don’t you be history, and I’ll be Rudolph.
33. Is your name Yule? Because looking at you gives me a log.
34. Is your name All Ye Faithful? Because I want you to come.
35. Are you the Polar Express? Because I’d like to ride you.
36. Can I call you Merrily on High? Because I want to see your Ding Dong.
37. Trust me, girl, if you give me a chance, I’ll make your legs shake like a bowl full of jelly.
38. Are you the Heatmiser? Because, girl, you’re too much.
39. Are you a dreidel? Because I’d like to give you a spin.
40. Is your name Cindy Lou Who? Because I’d like to sneak into your house while you’re asleep.
41. I lost my elf. Would you be the MILF on my shelf?
42. Are you the naughty list? Because I could see myself on you.
43. Are you the ghost of Christmas Past? Because I want you to visit me tonight while I’m sleeping,
44. Are you a sugarplum? Because you’ve been dancing through my head all night.
45. Do you like presents? Because I have a big package for you to unwrap!
46. Do you believe in kissing someone under the mistletoe? Because mistletoe is what I named my sheets.
47. Are you Frosty the Snowman? Because I want to see, you dance around in nothing but a hat.
48. Girl, are you figgy pudding? Because I won’t leave until I get some.
49. Is your name Eggnogg? Because I want to spike you.
50. Spend Christmas Eve with me, and I guarantee Santa won’t be the only one coming.
51. Is your name Deck the Halls? Because I want you to don me like I was your gay apparel.
52. Is your name Kris Kringle? Because I see you have a full sack.
53. Is your name Krampus? Because I want you to punish me for being naughty.
54. Hey baby, wanna help me put the screw back in Scrooge?
55. Are you the song “Baby it’s Cold Outside?” Because I want to talk about how horrible you are in front of my friends and then secretly enjoy you in private.
56. Are you Hanakuh? Because I want to celebrate you for eight nights.
57. Are you an advent calendar? Because I want to reach inside you for a treat.
58. Do you mind getting run over by the Polar Express? Because my friends and I would like to pull a train on you.
59. Are you a snowman? Because I want to stick my carrot in your face.