Dark Pick Up Lines

You just saw the perfect partner. What’s your move? Stare until they see you? Like all their posts until they respond? How about taking things to a new level and get darkly twisted with one of these 60 dark pickup lines?

You like poetry? How’d you like to see my Longfellow?

Are you a doctor because my one-eyed friend needs to see an optometrist.

Wanna go on a picnic? I’ll bring the hot dog, you bring the bun.

Can I exploit your natural resources?

I don’t want to blow it with you, but you can.

Merry Christmas! Wanna visit the North Pole?

I think my fly is falling for you.

How lucky for you, I’m giving away free mustache rides tonight.

I can’t wait to see you naked. In person this time.

If you’ve got time I could use some help at home cleaning my pipes.

Wanna come back to my place and see all the pictures I have of you?

I’ve got a magic weather stick that can find things that are wet.

I might be a vegan but I’m craving your meat.

I’m sorry you have a sore throat. Want something to suck on?

You don’t feel good? I have a special thermometer you could use.

I bet you look good in rope.

I don’t want to brag but I’m an organ donor. Can I put my first donation in you?

Can you watch all my unborn kids for me?

Are you a single mom? Would you like to be?

Are you a cemetery because I want to bury myself in you.

That outfit would look great buried in my basement.

You’ll do.

I’m throwing a party tonight. It’s in my pants.

I would kill someone for you. Again.

My penis got stung by a bee, can you suck out the poison?

Looking at you in that top reminds me that I need to buy milk.

Let’s go out but you should wear something you don’t mind getting bloody.

What handcuff size are you?

I think they only way to improve that outfit is to throw it on my floor.

My contact fell out, could I use my hands to read your shirt?

You look good but you should have worn that tight blue dress you tried on at the store.

You like horses? How’d you like to ride my wild baloney pony?

The voice in my head told me to talk to you.

Wanna go back to my place and see my collection of things from your trash?

You want to try to have an abortion while it’s still legal?

Your eyes are as blue as the lake I dumped my old boyfriend’s body in.

Call me baby because I want to be inside you for 9 months.

I haven’t been this turned on since I saw my friend’s grandma get out of the shower.

Will you give me a lock of your hair or will I have to get it after you go to bed.

Are you from Australia because I want to visit your down under. 

I call it the Submarine because it’s long, hard, and full of sea-men.

I will go down on you so fast. I love Asian food.

You must be Oppenheimer cause you got me ready to explode.

Wanna see my shovel collection?

My fingers never get tired.

Let’s do our part to conserve water and shower together.

I have a coffin at home that’s exactly your size.

My friend and I made a bet, how long can you hold your breath?

You must be a farmer because you know how to raise a cock.

I respect you. It’s why I’m giving you a standing ovation.

Would you mind giving my friend your Insta so they know where to find me in the morning.

You know what I like in a person? My diɔk.

I always wanted to be an astronaut and visit Uranus.

We should be zombies for Halloween. I would totally eat you.

Are you up for some casual sɘx or should I put on a tux (dress)?

Let’s have magic sɘx. After it’s over you disappear.

The more I have to drink, the better looking you get.

You look like my future ex-husband.

It’s Halloween, wanna go “Diɔk or Treating?”

Don’t be alarmed but someone called in a bomb threat. We’re gonna need to do a strip search.