We love the people in our lives. Or maybe you don’t, but you are still required to give your boss a birthday card because the whole office is too. Whatever the reason, birthdays are that one time of the year we get to express all that we feel towards the people around us.
If you suck at sharing your emotions just as much as the next person, try using some of these dad jokes! Slap any of these bad boys on their birthday card, and we can guarantee they’ll know exactly how you feel – well, they’ll probably just laugh, but we think that’s just as important.
What did winter say to spring on their birthday? “Enjoy this new season!”
What did the salmon give the fisherman for his birthday? A new scale!
What does a monkey want for his birthday? Bananas!
How do cows wish you happy birthday? “Hope you have an utterly great day!”
What does the buck say to the hunter on his birthday? “Be a deer, and give me the day off!”
Where do beavers celebrate their birthdays? At the dam!
How do trees celebrate their birthday? By branching out to their friends!
Do hikers enjoy their birthdays? Yes, it’s the peak of their year!
What do cats wear to their birthday parties? Paw-jamas!
What do trees write birthday cards on? Loose Leaf!
What present does Saturn give the birthday girl? Rings!
Where do astronauts eat birthday cake? At the lunch pad!
Where do polar bears buy all their presents? At the snowbank!
How come lizards hate to celebrate other people’s birthdays? Because they are so cold blooded!
What type of dessert does a rabbit have on its birthday? Carrot cake!
Did alligators and crocodiles come to the party? Yup, at the tail-end!
Who would cry on their birthday? Weeping Willow!
What did the tree do with all the dishes after eating cake? He let them s-oak!
Which flower brought sour cream to the birthday party? Daisy!
How come the roses were so late to the party? They couldn’t get out of the flowerbed!
Which flower bought dill pickles for the party menu? Daffo-dills!
Which flower got glasses for their birthday? Iris!
Who wore purple to the birthday party? Lavender!
What drink did Hibiscus serve at her birthday party? Tea!
Which flower is most likely to light rather than blow out her birthday cake? Snapdragon!
Which flower is most likely to get Chapstick for her birthday? Tulip!
What did the flower bring to the birthday party? Peanut buttercups!
What color was the flower’s special birthday outfit? Mari-gold!
How about we have a beach-themed birthday party? Shell no!
What do the ocean and the shore do on their birthdays? They wave to each other!
Why didn’t the pebble show up to the shell’s party? Their relationship’s a bit rocky.
What did the ocean ask the swimmer on his birthday? “Wa-ter you what as a present?”
Which guest was the first to arrive at the beach birthday party? Sandy!
Where did the ocean get his friend’s birthday gift? On e-Bay!
What did the guests do when the birthday party got lame? The board walked!
Do you celebrate your birthday at the beach? No, not current-ly!
How come we can’t eat cake on the seashore? Because the coast is never clear!
Did the mussel speak at the birthday party? No, he clammed up all night long!
What did the wife give her husband on his birthday? A fresh and clean birthday suit!
What type of ring do you get from your spouse on your birthday? Suffer-ing!
Where do you go to eat for your fiance’s birthday? Wherever she proposes!
What did the wife say to her husband when they got cheap Chinese food for her birthday? “This cookie better have cost a fortune!”
Do you celebrate your birthday with your spouse? Yes, but if I could elope, I would!
How was it getting married on your birthday? A piece of cake!
How come our supervisor always plans the birthday events at work? Because he’s so bossy!
Why should I give you a stapler for your birthday? Hopefully so this year you can keep it all together.
Why should I give you scissors for your birthday? Hopefully so this year you’ll cut the attitude and work harder.
When is the best time to wish your boss a happy birthday? During happy hour!
How come your coworkers’ birthday parties are always held at work? Because they love to make it everyone’s business!
Why should I get you a light bulb for your office? So you’ll lighten up at work.
Why should I give you a pen for your birthday? Hopefully so this year you can get something write!
What special outfit did the painter wear to work on his birthday? A fresh coat!
What singer could we afford to hire for your birthday party? 50 Cent!
What kind of soup did the pop star each on her birthday? Black Eye Peas.
What does Taylor Swift say to her fans on their birthday? “Are you 22?”
Why can’t you see K-pop stars celebrate their birthday when they are on tour? They keep everything BTS.
How does Katy Perry celebrate her birthday? With fireworks!
What does Britney Spears say when she ruins your birthday party? “Oops, I did it again!”
Which singer decided to host his birthday party in space? Bruno Mars!
What band is most likely to have a bug-themed party? The Beatles!
Do the Eagles have balloons at their birthday party? Yeah, they think they’re fly!
Who is most likely to celebrate their birthday in the forest? Justin Timberlake!
What book would describe someone who forgets their partner’s birthday? Gone, Girl!
Which type of book would Carrie want for her birthday? Anything by Stephen King!
What book did the ship captain get for his birthday? Moby Dick!
How come the pig was late to the birthday party? He was reading Hamlet!
Who is most likely to give you a mug for your birthday? Harry Potter!
Are there any birthday movies about dramatically falling in love? Yes, it’s the Hallmark of many!
What time of day do vampires celebrate their birthdays? At Twilight.
What kind of birthday decorations would the Hulk and Spider-Man put up? Marvel-ous ones!
Do Marvel villains celebrate the superheroes’ birthdays? Yeah, but it’s Lo-ki!
How would a Food Network star serve birthday cake? Chopped!
Who did Jennifer Ansiton invite to her birthday party? Friends!
Who does Steve Carell invite to his birthday party? The whole Office!
Who is most likely to show up to a birthday party dirty and underdressed? Cinderella!
What did Rapunzel get for her birthday from Mother Gothel? A hair brush!
Why couldn’t Peter Pan find all the party guests? They were lost, boy!
How many birthday party guest spots did Cruella have left open? 101!
What did Daisy yell at Donald before throwing the cake at Goofy? “Duck!”
Where would Captain Jack Sparrow host his birthday party? In the Caribbean!
What did Aurora do when her birthday got boring? She fell asleep!
What do you say to the celery after eating too much cake? “You okay, buddy? You’re looking a little green.”
What do you call pizzas after dressing them up for their birthday? Cutie-pies!
Which beer do you give to your mailman on his birthday? A porter!
Why can’t we have pastries instead of cake on my birthday? I do-nut know!
What are good guests to invite to a meat-themed birthday party? Frank and Patty!
On what day are Slurpees born? 7/11!
What did the red fruit write on their wife’s birthday card? “You’re the apple of my eye!”
Who is the cook who made soup for the party? Stu!
What did gum say when he started taking pictures of the birthday boy? “Well, someone needs to docu-mint this!”
Why couldn’t the pasta show up to the birthday party? He had this zit-i!
Can you believe they forgot about the egg’s birthday? Oh yeah, everyone is still walking on eggshells!
How come the Doritos were so late to their own birthday party? They almost bagged the whole event!
Who gave you the denim jacket for your birthday? Jean!
What does a phone book wear to a birthday party? Ad-dress!
What shoes were you unsure about wearing to the birthday party? Flip-flops!
What does the boxer wear to his birthday party? Socks!
What type of sweater does a police officer wear on his birthday? A pullover!
What did the watch say at the end of his party? Let’s Rol-ex!
Who is most likely to get sunglasses for this birthday? Ray!
Why do rumors always spread about Victoria’s birthday? Because she can’t keep a secret!
Why did X and Z stop writing birthday cards to one another? Because a letter always gets between them!
How come you always fly home for my birthday? Because you always com-plane until I do!
How did the ski instructor get to the party? Don’t worry – he found a lift!
How did the cold spread to everyone at the party? It flu!
What kind of birthday gift do you give a nerd? Something he’ll geek over!
Where can you buy a fresh new birthday suit? The hospital!
When is the worst time to celebrate a birthday? During a mourning.
When was the sky-diver’s birthday? Sometime during the fall.
What kind of gift card is best for your friend who is afraid of getting older? Forever 21!
Did the trumpet throw a great birthday party? No, someone blew it!