4th Of July Jokes

As Summer rounds into form, it’s time to kick back by the pool, fire up the grill and celebrate the biggest holiday of the season with the 50 best 4th of July jokes. Independence Day is truly a holiday for everyone, a way to honor the beauty of America while also giving your uncle a chance to unleash a fireworks display that rivals a nuclear test. It’s a break from the long dog days to sit by the pool, open a cold one and forget to apply sunscreen. These jokes will have you laughing so hard you’ll turn as red as your sunburnt shoulders.

Start your 4th of July with a 50-pack of humor:

When your Dad enjoys a sweet treat it’s called a “Poppasicle”

Holding your breath will make you turn red, white, and blue

When the bottle rocket is a dud it’s a firedon’t work

The statue of liberty must be very comfortable because she gets to wear a robe all day

I bet the founding fathers had killer Dad jokes

Why did the firework pass his English exam? Because he read the spark notes.

I drew a good picture of Uncle Sam. You could say I yankee doodled, dandy.

What kind of penalty does a flag make? A flagrant foul.

My relative likes to tell jokes. He’s an Uncle Ham.

Why was the firework always getting mad? Because it had a short fuse.

What’s Snoop Dogg’s favorite song about firecrackers? Pop it like it’s hot!

Why was George Washington always in the garden? Because he was tending to his infanttree

What did the American flag say to the Statue of Liberty? Nothing, it just waved. 

Why was the liberty bell a good gift? Because there were no strings attached.

Why do cars like Independence Day? Because it’s about revevoltion.

What do you call a founding father that likes to draw? A Yankee Doodler.

Who’s the funniest founding father? Alexander Hamilpun.

What’s a bird’s favorite document? The pecklaration of Independence.

Where did General George Washington keep his armies? In his sleeves.

The founding fathers wore powdered wigs which is a good way to cover up dandruff.

When is it bad to see the colors red, white and blue? When it’s a cop pulling you over.

What do you call it if you really like the national anthem? The Star Spangled Banger.

Why were the founding fathers so tough? Because they had a strong constitution.

Why do turtles hate fireworks? Because it makes them shellshocked.

Burning your food on the BBQ is like sending a smoke signal that your grilling is bad.

Why do hot dog eating contestants love to compete? Because they relish the opportunity

What did the first colonists like to drink? Libertea!

What’s the best way to celebrate 4th of July? Do an independence.

What does the statue of liberty say when you leave the island? Stay in torch.

I don’t like condiments on my hot dog. I can’t muster up the courage to try them.

How does a ghost celebrate Independence Day? By wearing red, white and boo!

Why did the hot dog get arrested for nudity? Because it had its buns out.

The fireworks display at the statue of liberty didn’t go off this year. It was a monumental failure.

What do you eat with a 4th of July soup? Firecrackers?

Why did the hot dog lose the race? Because it couldn’t ketchup.

Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York Harbor? Because she can’t sit down. 

What does a patriotic person like to drive? A Pennsylvannia

Where do the presidents keep their mice? In Mount Vermin.

What did the parrot say on 4th of July? Polly wants a firecracker!

Why did King Kong bring a woman up the Empire State building? So they could get a better view of the fireworks.

Why is 4ht of July a comet’s favorite holiday? Because it’s all stars and stripes.

Why do golfers like 4th of July? For the parades.

What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck? One has a bill on their face and the other has their face on a bill.

Why are the early Americans like ants? Because they both live in colonies.

Did you hear the one about the liberty bell? Yeah, it really cracked me up.

What’s the name of the famous dog that said “The British are Coming!”? Paw Revere.

Why aren’t there any 4th of July knock knock jokes? Because freedom rings.

Why is it easy to tell jokes to the liberty bell? Because it always cracks up.

Which flag has the best yelp review? The American flag because it has 50 stars!

What did the burger say to the grill? Fancy to meat you here.

What does a flag have in common with Santa Claus? They both hang around poles!