The Best Halloween Jokes of 2025

Whether you’re getting ready for a haunted house party, trick-or-treating with friends, or just spamming your group chat with pumpkin emojis, these 100 hilarious Halloween jokes are guaranteed to lift spirits (literally).

We’ve rounded up fresh, funny, and social-media-ready lines so you can slay this spooky season — from boo-tiful ghost puns to deadly good one-liners.

👻 Ghosts & Ghouls: The OG Ha-Ha-Haunters

What does a ghost wear to fancy parties? His boo-tuxedo.

Why do ghosts hate rain? It dampens their spirits.

What did the ghost say to the thief? “You gave me a real scare—now can I get that boo-rrowed back?”

Why was the ghost a bad liar? You could see right through him.

Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.

What game do ghosts play in the dark? Hide and shriek.

What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.

What do ghosts use to do their hair? Sham-boo!

What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.

Why did the ghost bring a suitcase? He wanted to pack his spirit away.

🧛 Blood, Bats & Biting Banter

Why did the vampire go to art school? He wanted to master the blood-brush.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarine.

Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He was looking for the blood types.

What do you call a vampire in the snow? Frostbite.

Why did the vampire use mouthwash? He had bat breath.

What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.

Why are vampires good at baseball? They always swing hard.

What’s a vampire’s least favorite room? The sunroom.

Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She was a pain in the neck.

How do vampires start their letters? “Tomb it may concern…”

💀 Bone-Chillingly Funny Skeleton Jokes

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

What do you call a skeleton that tells jokes? A rib-tickler.

Why was the skeleton always calm? Nothing gets under his skin.

What room has no doors or windows? A tomb.

What do skeletons eat for dessert? Bone-bons.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get more ribs.

How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone.

What did the skeleton wear to the dance? Bone cologne.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.

🧙‍♀️ Witches, Wizards & Wicked Wordplay

What’s a witch’s favorite class? Spelling.

Why did the witch bring a ladder? To reach new heights.

What did the witch say when her broom broke? “I’m broomless without you!”

How do witches keep their hair in place? Scare spray.

What happens when a witch’s dog goes trick-or-treating? He gets bark candy.

Why did the wizard get detention? He kept “spell”ing wrong.

What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.

Why do witches fly on brooms? Because vacuums suck.

What kind of makeup do witches wear? Mas-scare-a.

Why did the witch go to school? To improve her hex-ams.

🧟 Brains, Moans & Zombie Zones

What did the zombie say to the comedian? “Stop joking—I’m trying to grave.”

Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted a dead-ucation.

What’s a zombie’s favorite street? Dead end.

How do zombies fix their hair? With a dread-comb.

Why don’t zombies eat comedians? They taste funny.

What do zombies use to eat? Their fingers—but they always lick ’em clean.

Why was the zombie a bad musician? He kept losing his organs.

What’s a zombie’s favorite snack? Brain muffins.

Why did the zombie lose his job? He kept eating his co-workers.

What do you call a zombie in disguise? Deadulent.

🍬 Candy, Pumpkins & Snack Attacks

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.

What is the scariest fruit? Boo-berry.

What do monsters put on their sandwiches? Ghoul-ash.

Why did the candy go to school? It wanted to be a Smartie.

What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti.

Why did the skeleton refuse dessert? He was bone dry.

What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.

What do ghosts bake for brunch? Boo-berry muffins.

Why do pumpkins love music? They’ve got gourd rhythm.

What do you call a pumpkin with abs? A jack-ed-o’-lantern.

🕸 Monsters, Mummies & Mischief

Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

What do you call two witches in love? Broommates.

Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll unwind.

What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.

Why did Dracula open a bakery? He wanted to make blood-rolls.

What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? I-scream sandwiches.

Why did the headless horseman start a podcast? He wanted to get ahead.

What do ghouls wear to the beach? Ghoul-ash sandals.

Why did the mummy get promoted? He was wrapped up in his work.

What’s a monster’s favorite band? The Rolling Bones.

🕷 Creepy Cute One-Liners

Why do ghosts ride elevators? It lifts their spirits.

What do you call a dancing ghost? The Boogie Man.

What did the jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin? “You’re gourd-geous.”

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

What’s a vampire’s favorite workout? Cross-fit.

How do pumpkins greet each other? “Gourd morning!”

What do you call a skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.

What’s a ghost’s favorite band? The Boo Fighters.

Why did the ghost start a fashion line? For the sheer fun of it.

What’s a witch’s favorite app? Hex-TikTok.