100 Funny Snake Jokes for Kids and Adults

Snakes may be known for their slithery moves and sharp fangs, but in the world of humor, they’re packed with pun-tential! While some folks find snakes a little scary, we’re here to show you that these legless reptiles can actually be the stars of some of the silliest, giggliest, and most hiss-terical jokes around.

Whether you’re celebrating World Snake Day (July 16), putting together a classroom giggle-fest, or just looking to rattle someone’s funny bone, these jokes are family-friendly, kid-approved, and grown-up chuckle-worthy too!

So sit back, relax, and get ready to giggle with these 100+ snake jokes that are more charming than alarming. Let’s slither into the fun!

Snake Puns That’ll Coil You Up With Laughter

• What do you call a snake that works for the government?
  A civil serpent!
• Why are snakes so good at measuring things?
  Because they have scales!
• What did the snake say when offered a seat?
  “Thanks, I’ll just hiss here.”
• What do stylish snakes wear?
  Boa ties!
• Why did the cobra become a comedian?
  It had killer timing and venomous punchlines.
• What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie?
  A python à la mode.
• What kind of phone does a snake use?
  A sssmartphone!
• What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
  Hiss-tory.
• Why don’t snakes ever get lost?
  They always follow the hiss-terical signs!
• What do snakes do after a long day?
  They unwind!

Knock-Knock Snake Jokes

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Adder.
  Adder who?
  Adder you ready to laugh?
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boa.
  Boa who?
  Boa-ring? Not this joke!
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Hiss.
  Hiss who?
  Hiss me! I dare you!
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Sssss.
  Sssss who?
  Sssssnakes don’t knock, they slither in!
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Python.
  Python who?
  Python you a birthday gift!

Reptile Riddles & Clever Snake Questions

• What’s long, green, and sings?
  Elvis Parsley. Just kidding—it’s a garter snake at karaoke!
• Why don’t snakes need suitcases?
  They travel light. No legs, no shoes, no problem!
• How do snakes pay for things?
  With scale-culated credit.
• What happens when a snake gets mad?
  It flips its lid and rattles on!
• What’s a snake’s favorite dance move?
  The slither slide.
• What do you call a snake who builds houses?
  A boa constructor!
• Why did the snake sit on the clock?
  It wanted to be on time for lunch.
• What’s a snake’s favorite movie?
  “The Snake Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”
• How do snakes get around town?
  Sidewinder scooters!
• What game do snakes love the most?
  Snake and Ladders, of course!

School & Zoo-Themed Snake Jokes

• What did the snake get on its report card?
  Straight hiss!
• Why did the teacher send the snake to detention?
  Too many hiss-terruptions!
• What did the student snake write in its essay?
  “Hiss-tory repeats itself.”
• Why did the snake bring a pencil to school?
  To take note-sssss.
• What do snakes do during recess?
  Play hide-and-slither!
• What do zookeepers say when the snakes are rowdy?
  “Keep it ssssimple, snakes!”
• Why did the snake visit the library?
  To find hiss-terical books.
• What kind of school do snakes go to?
  Hisss-titutions of higher learning.
• Why didn’t the snake go to music class?
  It couldn’t pick up the instruments!
• What’s a snake’s favorite class project?
  Making a coil pot in art class!

Classic One-Liners to Rattle the Crowd

• I’m a little hiss-terious.
• Snake it ’til you make it!
• I’m coiled and ready for fun!
• Feeling fang-tastic today
• I don’t hiss around.
• If I had a dollar for every snake pun… I’d be hiss-terically rich!
• Don’t worry—I’m just rattling your cage.
• Can’t handle my snake charm? You’re not alone.
• Legless, fearless, fabulous.
• This joke has a bit of a bite.

Extra Giggly Snake Jokes for Kids

• What do snakes eat for breakfast?
  Mice Krispies!
• Why did the snake cross the road?
  To get to the hiss-side!
• What did the snake do at the party?
  He boa-gied all night long!
• Why did the snake blush?
  It saw someone shedding.
• What do you call a snake who tells tall tales?
  A sss-ly storyteller!
• What’s a snake’s favorite color?
  Green… or scale-gray. Depends on its mood!
• What do you call a snake that’s good at math?
  An adder!
• What kind of music do snakes listen to?
  Hiss-pop!
• Why do snakes never argue?
  Because they always agree to hiss-agree!
• What do you get when you cross a snake with a rabbit?
  A jump rope!

Slithery Bonus Jokes Just for Laughs

• I asked a snake how it’s doing. It said, “Sssensational!”
• The snake got promoted—it’s now the head of hiss-telligence.
• My snake can type… but only sssss.
• That snake just won the talent show! It’s a real hiss-ter.
• Don’t hiss at me unless you can back it up with fangs.
• My snake and I are on the same wave-length… no legs, no drama.
• My friend said he’d never own a snake. I said, “That’s hiss loss.”
• I tried to teach my snake to fetch, but it kept shedding the ball.
• When life gets tough, just coil up and hiss it out.
• If puns were venom, I’d be deadly by now.

Wrapping Up the Rattles

See? Snakes don’t have to be spooky sometimes they’re just punny little comedians in disguise. These hiss-terical snake jokes are perfect for birthday parties, classroom laughs, campfire fun, or just making someone smile on a slippery day.

So go ahead—share a joke, tell a riddle, or post that Reel with your favorite snake pun. And remember, the only thing more flexible than a snake is your sense of humor.

Stay slithery, stay silly, and keep spreading those fang-tastic laughs!