100 Lawyer Pick Up Lines That Work

If you love a good objection, live for a sharp cross-examination, or just think people in suits are dangerously attractive, lawyer pick up lines are your perfect kind of cringe. They’re witty, punny, and just the right mix of clever and cheesy—ideal for flirting with a law student, attorney, paralegal, or anyone who’s way too familiar with deadlines and depositions.

This list gives you 100 lawyer pick up lines, organized by vibe: funny, cheesy, romantic, courtroom-themed, criminal law, corporate law, and lines tailored for him and for her. Copy, paste, and present your case—just be ready for laughter… or a playful “Objection!”

Funny & Playful Lawyer Pick Up Lines

“Are you a lawyer? Because every time you walk in, you make a strong case for love.”

“Are we in court? Because I just felt my heart enter into evidence.”

“Do you practice criminal law? Because I’m guilty of falling for you.”

“Are you a subpoena? Because I feel legally compelled to show up when you call.”

“Is your name Justice? Because everything feels right when you’re around.”

“You must be a jury, because I’m hoping you’ll rule in favor of a date.”

“Are you my closing argument? Because you’re all I can think about at the end of the day.”

“You’re like a good precedent— once I found you, everything changed.”

“Is this small talk, or are we in the early stages of a binding agreement?”

“They say the law is complex, but liking you is the easiest decision I’ve ever made.”

Cheesy Lawyer Pick Up Lines (So Bad They’re Good)

“Do you specialize in contracts? Because my heart just signed your name.”

“Are you a statute? Because I feel bound to follow you.”

“Can I file a motion? A motion for us to grab coffee sometime.”

“You must be legal tender, because my heart’s investing everything in you.”

“Are you a law textbook? Because I could study you all night.”

“Is your name Clause? Because you’re all the fine print I need.”

“You’re like a well-drafted brief— concise, sharp, and impossible to ignore.”

“I’d waive my right to remain silent, just to tell you how good you look.”

“Are you a high-profile case? Because everyone should know about you.”

“You must be a settlement offer, because saying yes feels like the smart choice.”

Smooth & Romantic Lawyer Pick Up Lines

“I’ve reviewed all the evidence, and I’m ready to rule in favor of us.”

**“My heart has reached a unanimous verdict: it belongs to you.”

“You’re the only person I’d willingly be cross-examined for.”

“If love were a trial, I’d spend a lifetime presenting my case to you.”

“You must be pro bono work, because loving you feels like a privilege, not a job.”

“I don’t need discovery to know you’re everything I’ve been looking for.”

“You’re the precedent my heart will follow for the rest of its days.”

“If you were a contract, I’d sign without reading a single term.”

“You’re the strongest argument against me ever wanting to be single again.”

“My closing statement is simple: you and me, no objections.”

Courtroom & Trial-Themed Pick Up Lines

“Objection! To a world where I don’t get to know you better.”

“Are you the judge? Because one look from you and my defenses crumble.”

“You must be a witness, because you just saw me fall for you.”

“I’d like to call you to the stand— so I can ask for your number under oath.”

“Are you a cross-examination? Because you’ve got my heart stumbling over every answer.”

“This feels like trial prep, because I’ve been rehearsing asking you out all day.”

“You’re my key exhibit: Exhibit A— Absolute perfection.”

“Is this the voir dire stage? Because I think we’re highly compatible.”

“My heart has no objections to spending more time with you.”

“I rest my case… but not my feelings for you.”

Criminal Law & “Partner in Crime” Pick Up Lines

“Are you a felony? Because you’ve stolen my heart in the first degree.”

“You must do criminal defense, because I feel guilty for how much I like you.”

“Is it illegal to look that good? Because I’d defend you anyway.”

“You’re my favorite kind of crime— victimless and irresistible.”

“If loving you is an offense, I’m ready to plead guilty.”

“Call me your accomplice, because I’m in on this love plot.”

“You’re the only charge I’d never want dismissed.”

“You must be probable cause, because my heart keeps making a case for you.”

“Are you bail? Because you just freed my heart from loneliness.”

“We don’t need a plea bargain— I already confess I like you.”

Corporate & Contract Lawyer Pick Up Lines

“Are you a merger agreement? Because I see our futures combining nicely.”

**“Let’s draft a contract: you bring the charm, I’ll bring the commitment.”

“You must be a non-compete clause, because I can’t consider anyone else.”

“Are we negotiating? Because I’m willing to offer my whole heart up front.”

“You’re the only deal I’d never walk away from.”

“Are you due diligence? Because I can’t stop going over every detail of you.”

“We should enter into a joint venture— you, me, and a lifetime of memories.”

“You’re like a perfectly drafted contract— no loopholes, just solid terms.”

“I don’t need outside counsel; my heart already chose you.”

“Is your specialty M&A? Because my heart wants to merge with yours.”

Law School & Bar Exam Pick Up Lines

“Are you a bar exam question? Because you’re all I can think about.”

“You must be finals week, because I’m losing sleep over you.”

“If we study together, I promise to help you pass… the ‘dating me’ test.”

“You’re like a perfect outline— everything about you is in the right place.”

“Is this a study group, or did I just walk into my meet-cute?”

“You’re the only thing more intense than my exam schedule.”

“You must be law review, because you’re top-tier in every way.”

“I’d brief a hundred cases if it meant one movie night with you.”

“You’re the one thing I’ll never procrastinate on.”

“Forget the curve— my grade goes up every time you text me.”

Lawyer Pick Up Lines for Her

“You’re more impressive than any Supreme Court opinion I’ve ever read.”

“Are you a closing argument? Because you just left the whole room speechless.”

“You don’t just practice law, you practice the art of being unforgettable.”

“If beauty were a statute, you’d be the gold standard.”

“You walk in like you own the courtroom— and now you own my attention too.”

“They say justice is blind, but even she would notice you.”

“You’re the kind of lawyer who could win any case—especially the one for my heart.”

“You don’t need precedent— you set your own.”

“Objection: it’s unfair to everyone else that you look this good.”

“If charm were admissible evidence, you’d win every trial.”

Lawyer Pick Up Lines for Him

“You look like you bill by the hour, but that smile is priceless.”

“Are you a litigator? Because my heart’s on fire whenever you speak.”

“You’ve got ‘future partner’ energy— professionally and romantically.”

“I’d happily be second chair, as long as I’m first in your heart.”

“Your cross-examinations might be tough, but I’d still take the stand for you.”

**“You’re sharper than any objection I’ve ever heard.”

“You don’t need a gavel— your eyes already have full authority.”

“If confidence were a cause of action, you’d be an open-and-shut win.”

“I’d never file for a continuance— I want more time with you now.”

“You’re the only counsel my heart is willing to retain long-term.”

Extra-Goofy Legal Pick Up Lines (For Maximum Groans)

“Are you a gavel? Because my heart pounds every time you’re near.”

“Let’s skip discovery and go straight to the ‘romantic dinner’ phase.”

“Are you admissible evidence? Because I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“I’d like to enter Exhibit A: us, on a date this weekend.”

“Are you a law library? Because I feel strangely at peace around you.”

“Can I subpoena your time for a drink sometime?”

“You’re the only motion I’d never want denied.”

“Are you a legal brief? Because you’ve summed up everything I’ve been searching for.”

“My heart just filed an emergency motion— it needs you immediately.”

“Let’s consider this an opening statement: I like you. A lot.”

Lawyer pick up lines are the perfect mix of clever, nerdy, and charming, especially when you’re flirting with someone who lives in the world of cases, codes, and caffeine. Use these lines in texts, at happy hour, in law school hallways, or at firm parties when you want to break the ice with a little legal flair.

Deliver them with confidence, a grin, and zero fear of rejection—after all, even the best attorneys don’t win every case… but they always show up ready to argue.